Battle of the Blades, Season 2, Episode 4: the good, the bad and the snuggly
Country night? More like excruciating comedy hour: Kurt Browning’s faux twang, not one but two not-even-a-little-bit-funny Brokeback Mountain jokes and a cross-dressing crack that felt particularly icky given the recent revelations in the Russell Williams trial. Let’s just say that if we were grading on hilarity, this week’s episode would be scoring in the low 4s. But moving on to happier topics…
With only five pairs left, the competition is getting tight (and we’re not just talking about Kelly Chase’s pleather chaps). So without further ado, we give you this week’s good/bad/snuggly selections.
Who should stay: Val and Katia Is it even debatable? For some reason, the voting audience isn’t responding to this duo, hence their shocking inclusion in last week’s bottom two. Why? It could be residual Cold War hostility, or the fact that people often prefer voting for underdogs. Or maybe it’s just the good old-fashioned green-eyed monster. (Because, seriously, these two are sickeningly perfect together. We would have nominated them for Get It On honours if we weren’t worried about offending our new BFF, Candace Cameron Bure.) Luckily, the judges are on our team—the Russians scored the highest marks of the night.
Who should go: Kelly and Kyoko Yes, Kelly Chase is as charming as all heck, and yes, considering the aforementioned pleather chaps, he’s proven his commitment to the competition. But what he is not is a good figure skater. Comparing Val and Katia’s performance to Kelly and Kyoko’s would be like comparing foie gras to goose crap. So enough with the sentimental voting practices. It’s time for this pair to hit the penalty box.
Who should get it on: Patrice and Shae-Lynn Their skate looked an awful lot like really hot foreplay, and are we the only ones who noticed the post-performance nuzzle!? Plus, they couldn’t stop talking about how proud they were of one another. She likes that he’s tall, dark and handsome, and he’s working his butt off to master new moves. He appreciates that she also stepped out of her comfort zone this week to sing the track that they skated to.
(All images provided by the CBC.)
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Courtney Shea is a freelance journalist in Toronto. She started her career as an intern at Toronto Life and continues to contribute frequently to the publication, including her 2022 National Magazine Award–winning feature, “The Death Cheaters,” her regular Q&As and her recent investigation into whether Taylor Swift hung out at a Toronto dive bar (she did not). Courtney was a producer and writer on the 2022 documentary The Talented Mr. Rosenberg, based on her 2014 Toronto Life magazine feature “The Yorkville Swindler.”
