Battle of the Blades, Season 2, Episode 2: the good, the bad and the snuggly
What were we giving thanks for this weekend? Canadian reality TV, of course. Sadly, all of our undying adoration wasn’t enough to keep the NHL’s number one enforcer Georges Laraque in figure skates. The BOTB’s gentle giant, with partner Annabelle Langlois, got the boot last night, and because of the Thanksgiving holiday, we weren’t able to weigh in before hand.
For today’s post, we’ll stick to our established format: who stays, who goes and who needs to get a room. We should note that the “get it on” category was particularly tight this week given the “Bringing Sexy Back” theme. Not sure if they stash a hose back stage, but some of these couples could have used it.
Who should stay: Val Bure and Katia Gordeeva Last week we thought these two were safer than abstinence after a routine that made them look as good as Eddie Van Halen at an amateur jam night. Who would have guessed that the Canadian voters would be cooler than chilled vodka when it came to supporting BOTB’s only Russian pair? This week, the duo performed elegant lifts and one incredibly advanced double throw as if they’d been skating together their entire lives. (Plus, we figure if Bure stays in the competition long enough, his wife, Candace Cameron Bure, is sure to make an audience appearance.)
Who should go: are we allowed to say co-host Kurt Browning? His little behind-the-scenes skits might be the cringiest thing to hit Canadian TV since Miley hosted the MMVAs. Speaking of cringing, were we the only ones squinting to avoid the nuclear glow of Kurt’s purple dress shirt? We actually watched all the way through the credits to see if we could figure out who is to blame for his wardrobe. We couldn’t, but whoever it is should be ashamed.
The runner-up in this category is Kelly Chase. The wing man’s skating was much improved this week, but those leaden shadowboxing maneuvers and ta-daaa! gestures have got to go.
Who should get it on: Patrice Brisebois and Shae-Lynn Bourne Who should get it on? More like who did get it on five minutes before they stepped on the ice? These two were seriously oozing sex—the lightening fast footwork and lifts felt a lot like foreplay. (We’re not the only ones who thought so. To quote judge Jeremy Roenick: “I actually had drool coming out of my mouth watching that.”) We’re pretty sure Patrice is a family man (we’re just having fun here), but let’s just say that if the goal was to bring sexy back, Patrice and Shae-Lynn can consider week two’s mission accomplished.
(All images provided by the CBC.)
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Courtney Shea is a freelance journalist in Toronto. She started her career as an intern at Toronto Life and continues to contribute frequently to the publication, including her 2022 National Magazine Award–winning feature, “The Death Cheaters,” her regular Q&As and her recent investigation into whether Taylor Swift hung out at a Toronto dive bar (she did not). Courtney was a producer and writer on the 2022 documentary The Talented Mr. Rosenberg, based on her 2014 Toronto Life magazine feature “The Yorkville Swindler.”
