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Battle of the Blades, Season 2, Episode 1: the good, the bad and the snuggly

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Battle of the Blades, Season 2, Episode 1: the good, the bad and the snuggly

With over two million viewers, ecstatic live audiences and almost as many cast dating rumours as Gossip Girl, the first season of Battle of the Blades was a Canadian sensation. So last night’s season two premiere had a lot to live up to. But the new crop of ice-queen and puck-prodigy pairings looks promising. As head judge Sandra Bezic noted, “The level of this competition is already around week five from last year.” By the way, were the women’s costumes always so XXX? Based on episode one, it would be fair to assume this year’s ladies have a visible midriff clause in their contracts.

We’re as excited as you are for a whole new season of lifts, lutzes and locker room gossip—last year, at least one couple took their chemistry off the ice. With that in mind, we’re analyzing every episode to decide who should stay, who should go and who should, you know, get it on. Our first breakdown after the jump.

Who should stay: Annabelle Langlois and Georges Laraque Their scores were mid-level, but as far as pure entertainment goes, teeny-tiny Langlois (4’11”) and hulking Laraque (6’3”) were the ones to beat. Did he actually swing her around, then bench press her, then kiss his own biceps? Why yes, he did!

Who should go: Kyoko Ina and Kelly Chase We’re as sentimental as the next snarky blogger, but a touching sob story (Chase recently recovered from a life-threatening brain lesion) is not enough to save this pair from getting iced, nor is the fact that they danced to White Snake’s “Here I Go Again.” (Woot!) Charming as he is, Chase clomped around the ice like a moose in headlights, and he and Ina were one of the few pairs that didn’t behave like they were one lift away from the bedroom.

Who should get it on: Ekaterina Gordeeva and Valeri Bure This is a tough call, given that there were sparks aplenty last night. The judges noted how P.J. Stock and Violetta Afanasieva “oozed sexuality” during their skate, and while we agree, we’re giving get-it-on honours to the night’s high scorers, Gordeeva and Bure. Yeah, yeah, they’re both married (he to Candace Cameron!!!), but this is a game, and we think these two Russians, who met back in their school days in Moscow, are Romeo and Juliet on figure skates.

(All images courtesy of the CBC.)

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Courtney Shea is a freelance journalist in Toronto. She started her career as an intern at Toronto Life and continues to contribute frequently to the publication, including her 2022 National Magazine Award–winning feature, “The Death Cheaters,” her regular Q&As and her recent investigation into whether Taylor Swift hung out at a Toronto dive bar (she did not). Courtney was a producer and writer on the 2022 documentary The Talented Mr. Rosenberg, based on her 2014 Toronto Life magazine feature “The Yorkville Swindler.”

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