“Some of my friends are on their phones most of the time. It’s disturbing”: Why this 13-year-old is in no rush for a phone of her own

My friends started getting smartphones when they were in Grade 4. At first, it was just one or two kids. I’m in Grade 8 now, and almost everyone has one. I’m one of only three students in my class who doesn’t—and I suspect the other two wish they did.

My parents gave me my grandma’s old LG flip phone when I started Grade 7 and was biking to a new school farther from our house. They wanted a way to reach me, and I really use it only to contact them. They aren’t all that interested in technology either. My mom has a small iPhone, but she doesn’t use it much. My dad only recently got a smartphone, but he was very reluctant. He tried to hold out as long as he could, which is what I’m trying to do now. I see other people get smartphones, and suddenly that’s all they pay attention to. I don’t want that happening to me.

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I have friends who are on their smartphones a lot of the time. It’s kind of disturbing to see them so engrossed. They’re on TikTok, Snapchat, stuff like that, just scrolling. They get trapped. I have one or two friends who make a point of putting their phones down so we can have a conversation. But, lots of times, people don’t even talk to one another when they get together. They just sit and stare at their screens.

My school is very strict—each morning, everyone has to put their phones in a box we call the tech bin, and it gets stored on a high shelf. People can ask to text their parents, and some kids will manage to get their phones back. I rarely even put my phone in the bin because I usually forget it’s in the depths of my bag.

I do my schoolwork on our family’s shared computer. My younger brother and I watch videos on there too. I like to draw, so I use Pinterest to save art references, but I don’t have any other social media. My brother is a bit more curious about technology. He’s in Grade 4, and most of his friends have smartphones already.

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I feel like I notice things other people don’t because I’m not staring at a phone. When I ride public transit, I always make sure to get a window seat so I can watch the city go by. Once, I was on the streetcar, and everyone had their heads down, looking at their screens. An elderly man sitting across from me took out his phone, and it was the exact same model I have. When he saw mine, he said, “I guess we’re the only sane ones on this streetcar.”

Even if my parents offered me a smartphone, I wouldn’t want it. There are so many things on there to distract you, and I know I’d get sucked in so easily. I can see the good in them, of course. It’s handy to be able to take pictures with your phone, and sometimes it’s annoying that I can’t get group messages on my flip. Smartphones do connect people—but, at the same time, I feel like they’re kind of pulling us apart. They’re shaping our world in a weird way, and it’s going to be hard to come back from that if things continue the way they’re going.