“We’re best friends despite our 53-year age gap”: How two Toronto runners forged a generation-defying friendship

Paige, a 25-year-old teacher, and Nancy, a 78-year-old retired physiotherapist, first met through their west-end run club in 2015. Despite their 53-year age gap, they quickly formed a friendship beyond their running. While differences and diversity are often embraced in a city like Toronto, generational stereotypes persist: boomers can be perceived as unprogressive, Gen Zers can be labelled screen-obsessed, and so on. Yet friendships spanning generations can facilitate knowledge exchange, help combat the loneliness epidemic and generally make our hyper-individualistic society a little more welcoming. We spoke with Paige and Nancy about how their special bond came to be, what they’ve learned from each other and the importance of intergenerational friendships.

Paige: I was 16 when I first met Nancy through the Longboat Road Runners. Every Sunday, we did a long run from the west-end YMCA, and Nancy was setting all these crazy age-group records. One day, she came up to me, introduced herself and said, “I’m the oldest and you’re the youngest. I think we should meet!"

Nancy: I thought Paige was a great, serious young girl who was mature beyond her age. We just clicked right away.

Paige: Nancy was like a light in a room. Whether it was a Christmas party or an awards event, we’d always wind up beside each other, talking. From there, it was like, “Why don’t you come over for dinner?" One of my favourite meals is her pistachio salmon.

Nancy: I’ve always believed that friends are the family we choose for ourselves. Health reasons meant I could never have kids of my own even though I wanted to. On the plus side, I was able to travel the world. Family is the people you love. It doesn’t have to be blood. My friends’ kids are like my kids.

Paige: I have a lot of friends outside of my generation. I grew up as an only child, so I was around adults a lot.

Nancy: I’m really into the environment—I don’t think there’s anything more important than solving the climate crisis—and Paige was interested in that too. We could talk for hours about it. I was impressed that Paige wasn’t just into boys.

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Paige: Nancy lives downtown in the Annex. There were a couple of races where the start line was a kilometre or two from her house, so I’d stay there overnight. We ended up carpooling with each other, telling stories.

Nancy: Before long, I became like a second mother to Paige. That’s no small thing for me. When I first met my late husband, in Switzerland, he was married. He had been separated from his wife for two years, and that was back in the day where you had to wait three years for a divorce. I didn’t care about a piece of paper, but it caused a huge uproar at home. My mom shamed me for living with a married man. Later in her life, she admitted that she would’ve done things differently. I had a hard time with my mother when I was young. I even went to a psychiatrist to figure out how to talk to her.

Paige: With Nancy, I didn’t have to worry about the judgment that I’d have from peers at school. When we met, I was coming out of an eating disorder. I grew up dancing competitively, and I went through puberty earlier than most girls. I kept going down this cycle of wanting to over-exercise, avoid food and obsess over my body. I started running partially to maintain my weight.

Nancy: I wasn’t fully aware of her eating disorder at the time. She’s too hard on herself.

Paige: Watching Nancy, I realized that becoming a great runner meant fuelling your body, not starving it. That had a huge impact on me. Ironically, through running, I got out of my eating disorder.

Nancy: With my age and experience, I think I’ve been able to help Paige in some ways. She felt like a fish out of water in high school. I told her there would be all kinds of people in university, and her time would come. And it did.

Paige: We were in that same running club in Toronto for two years. In 2017, I went to Thunder Bay for university, then to Queen’s for teacher’s college in 2022. Now I live and work in Halifax. Nancy has visited me everywhere I’ve lived.

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Nancy: I went to Thunder Bay to run a 10-mile road race, where Paige came third overall. Afterward, we hiked along the Sea Lion Trail at Sleeping Giant Provincial Park. I did it despite the fact that my toenails were bleeding from the race. I was trying to keep up with her. I’ve had a hip replacement, and I’m living on borrowed time as far as running goes. But, by now, I know that won’t change anything between us.

Paige: Nancy is one of the few people from Toronto I still see and talk to on a regular basis, which is no small thing considering we live 1,600 kilometres apart. We FaceTime and text once or twice a month, and she came to visit me in Halifax last year. One day when she was visiting, we went out for dinner. It was super cold, and Nancy had nothing fancy enough to wear (in her opinion). So I dressed her up in my clothes, black leather pants and all.

Nancy: We’re just comfortable with each other. When I visit Paige, we can both be doing different things in the same room, reading a book or, in her case, knitting. She even knitted me a beautiful sweater.

Paige: Nancy gives me the most kind, honest and tough love. She tells me what I need to hear, but in a very loving way.

Nancy: Mostly when it comes to dating. Paige can be so wise about the earth and the environment but so immature where romance is concerned. We even took a video of me interviewing her about her dates.

Paige: I was going through a breakup last year—I wanted to make things work, and my ex-boyfriend didn’t. Nancy was telling me that it takes two to make something work, and if one isn’t willing to do the work, then it’s probably not meant to be.

Nancy: There were times when Paige would call me in great distress, and I’d listen and talk through it with her.

Paige: Sometimes I’ll talk about Nancy to people my age without mentioning the age gap. They’re always shocked when I show them a picture of her. But their reaction tends to be more admiration than judgment. My parents, on the other hand, weren’t really surprised. Growing up, I had a lot of friends who were older—I invited a grown woman to my sixth birthday party. My family has also become quite close with Nancy over the years.

Nancy: As clichéd as it sounds, it’s not age that matters—it’s emotional maturity. I want to learn more and keep my mind open rather than letting it close down as I age. Paige is a great person to do that with.

Paige: I’m very grateful for Nancy’s stories and perspectives. As a society, we’re missing out on that generational knowledge. It’s helpful to connect with someone with different life experiences. The younger ones can appreciate the wealth of knowledge held by the older generations, and the older folks can also benefit from that special bond. Either way, we let go of our expectations about age.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.