Dear Urban Diplomat: I’m eight months pregnant—can a waiter refuse to serve me a glass of wine?

Dear Urban Diplomat,
I’m eight months pregnant and recently went out for dinner with my girlfriends in Leslieville. I ordered a glass of wine, and the server—a poncey kid of maybe 22—said, “Sorry, I’m not comfortable with that,” and cut me off. I was floored. Can he do that?
—Wine Not, Distillery District
Since you’re an adult and have access to the internet and an obstetrician, I won’t wade into the odd-drink-whilst-preggo debate. And, clearly, you’ve already landed on one side of the fence. As for the overeager server: can he do that? Not without risking a legal smackdown from the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario. Services like restaurants can’t discriminate because of race, colour, creed, sexual orientation, age, gender, disability or fecundity. The Human Rights Legal Support Centre would likely help you file a complaint for free. If that sounds like overkill, it’s because it is. Repeat your request, calmly and firmly. Should the little turd persist, ask to speak to his manager.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at [email protected]
I rather lose my job than serving you any liquor. I have no part in destroying your child future and as for the lawyers, they will represent anyone even if they are witness to a crime. Lawyers are taught in school to be heartless.
It is an outrage that a server would try to own a fetus in this way. A glass a wine with dinner while pregnant is a good thing, and more importantly- no business of anyone’s except the mother. I would sue a server who refused to serve me because of my pregnancy.
Many obstetricians will readily approve of a glass of wine while pregnant. Besides, the woman has a right to chose what she does with her body, including what she consumes, pregnant or not. She is a person.
Unbelievable. So outrageous.
Enjoy joblessness
is alcohol really that important to you that you can’t wait to have the baby ???
Are you aware that the medical community almost universally agrees that the occasional drink while pregnant is completely harmless?
First of all, the debate is about her right to choose. Second, having a glass of wine with dinner is about living your life in moderation, which in my opinion, is much better than cutting out wine and then having a Coke with your meal (the real poison). And in case you hadn’t heard, a glass a wine is good for your health.
Guess what? Not your choice. Bet you wouldn’t have a problem serving an alcoholic tho.
I’m more taken back by both WN and UD’s use of insulting, tactless language toward the server, who also happens to be a human being. Calling someone a “poncey kid” or a “little turd” – really? I feel sorry for anybody who has to wait on these classless women that use abusive language to feel superior to a twentysomething year old. They must be every server’s nightmare.
She doesn’t know his story either! He might only be 22, but maybe he has personal experience with fetal alcohol syndrome. He is trying to be responsible, just like you wouldn’t serve to someone who is clearly intoxicated, you might not want to serve someone who is clearly pregnant. She can speak to the manager, but I don’t know why he needs to be called a “little turd.” He clearly wasn’t trying to be malicious, quite the opposite!
I think the underlying issue here is not the conduct of the server… but rather, the regulation of the service of alcohol to pregnant women. I’m aware that this is a touchy issue for me to be commenting on as a male – but as someone who has been a liquor server, with an in-depth knowledge of liquor laws, I am perfectly comfortable speaking up here.
Something that isn’t discussed much, is a 2004 amendment to the Liquor License Act, known as “Sandy’s Law” – which requires liquor-serving establishments to display prominent signage, regarding consuming alcohol while pregnant. Some of us may have seen posters to this effect, in compliance with this law: http://www.agco.on.ca/pdfs/en/warnsign_clr.pdf
But really, is this enough? Is this really enough to get the message across in such a way that pregnant women will actually understand the long-term effects of FASD, and how the short term pleasure of what may seem like “just a glass of wine” can have much greater consequences?
As a server, I would absolutely deny a pregnant customer any sort of alcohol. I don’t care if your “friend drank while she was pregnant and her baby turned out fine”. I don’t care if it’s “just one drink”. I don’t care if you can just go to the restaurant next door to the LCBO and get all the liquor you want. I will not let something pass through my hands that will cause harm to your unborn child. Even if that is at the cost of my job.
This is no different than airlines and cruise lines from prohibiting pregnant women from boarding their vessels (usually at 24 weeks or more into their pregnancy). It’s for the safety of the unborn baby. Personally, I don’t think the Human Rights Tribunal would rule in favour of the mother in this case… because in the end, the server is looking out for the safety of the customer by not allowing them anything to drink; just in the same way as they would if a customer is driving, or if they’ve had too much to drink.
It’s conscious and informed service of alcohol – and this concept in general is sadly not covered enough by the Smart Serve license training. There’s too much commercial interest in selling more high-margin alcohol; and far too little direct consequence for letting it get out of hand.
You can really tell which of these commenters have worked in the service industry and which ones haven’t!
Do you have proof of this consensus? By proof, I mean peer-reviewed articles in something to the effect of an academic journal… not a discussion forum or a blog.
I’m so happy that most of the people who commented are not my mother. THANK YOU GOD.
Everyone I know who drank wine while pregnant has a child with a problem. Doctors can be wrong. One has depression, the other one is bi polar, the other one has panic attacks, another one totally unruly, another one now in their mid twenties is an alcoholic… better safe than sorry so keep away from alcohol.
Well said.
I had typed something very similar before in went into the internet’s black hole! You are absolutely right. He was erring on the side of caution and doing what Smart Serve taught him to do. Nothing wrong with that. Perhaps educate him on the flip side of the argument rather than throw him to the dogs. He was doing what he thought was right and as a young 22 yr old “turd” that can be extremely hard. What he did took courage. He said no when he thought something wasn’t right, to a woman who is perhaps other than he is – don’t castrate him. Swallow your pride and thank him for looking out for your unborn child, and then gently educate him on what you know about drinking (in moderation) while pregnant.
Unless there is a law that forbids pregnant women from drinking then the server doesn’t get to refuse. This is a democratic country and having a moral belief in something doesn’t give you the right to tell other people what to do with their bodies or children. People are aware of the facts and they get to make their own choices and live with the consequences of those choices.
I think Laura that your mother may have had a few drinks while she was pregnant with you.. Your mindset it not well thought out.
how can you definitively associate having a glass of wine with someone having depression, bipolar, panic attacks and “unruliness”? there is no clear, direct causal relationship between those things and having a drink while pregnant. so says science.
Actually, according to studies in Denmark, children with mother’s who drank a weekly glass of wine had less behavior disorders than those children whose mother’s abstained completely. Also, according to many of my social worker friends who work with those who have FASD, their mothers drank copious amounts of alcohol (think an entire bottle of vodka each day or every two days). Not to say you shouldn’t be cautious, but your friends kids who have depression, are bi-polar, suffer from panic attacks and have ‘unruly’ behavior are more likely down to parenting issues and genetics than drinking.
Just one part of the study:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/children_shealth/10548139/Children-of-mothers-who-drink-alcohol-during-pregnancy-better-behaved.html
There is a huge difference between excessive drinking and the occasional glass of wine. As a 28-week pregnant woman myself, I have abstained in respect to my husbands wishes, and to be completely honest, because the smell of wine makes me ill. However, after speaking with my midwife, my doula and an OB – I see no problem with a pregnant woman having an occasional glass of wine. I’ve also spoken with several of my friends who are social workers that specialize in FASD – they all say that the mothers drank EXCESSIVELY. As in a bottle of vodka a day. A glass of wine here or there is perfectly fine.
I also think it’s fair that a server wouldn’t serve me – I wouldn’t ask them to.
Here are some studies:
http://www.express.co.uk/news/health/451623/Pregnant-women-drinking-a-bottle-of-wine-a-month-have-better-behaved-children-says-report
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/feb/19/advising-pregnant-women-drink-no-alcohol
http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/study-no-connection-between-drinking-alcohol-early-in-pregnancy-and-birth-problems-201309106667
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/04/17/177644483/study-finds-no-harm-in-occasional-drink-during-pregnancy
I’m also shocked at these responses. It think the unborn baby deserves rights, too… should she really be harming her child with alcohol as she pleases? If I were the server, being the “little turd” I would refuse too. And it’s not like he was being disrespectful in his refusal to serve her wine – seriously, the asker sounds a lot more rude in my opinion.
better safe than sorry, in my opinion.
I would just wait out my urges to drink… for my baby’s health, for a life’s future, giving up wine for 9 months isn’t that big of a deal.
this is the least educated, least relevant comment on this board. shame on you for being so ignorant. doctors can be wrong about things but I don’t think to such an extreme- each of the issues you identified can not be related to one cause. if that’s the case – maybe they ate too many msgs, preservatives, caffeine etc.etc.
this!!
Keep drinking throughout your pregnancy. Let me know how your kid turns out
yes it is her body, but it
is the babys body too, and he or she has no choice but to suffer brainit damage cause mom wants a beer,,, wait nine months then drink
what about baby ,we now have scientific proof that alcohol kills the brain, and there are many out there suffering the effects of ignorance
Really, Show me the research. You can’t because it’s untrue.
Dear, those aren’t studies, they are articles. What in the world passes for science in schools these days…oy.
Actually, the burden is on you to prove that it causes substantial harm, since you are on the side of restricting the liberty of a segment of a population. —Unless if you are of the opinion that all liberties should be legally curtailed given unknown circumstances.
Here is a research article published Jan 2, 2014 by O’Keeffe et al. titled “The effect of moderate gestational alcohol consumption during pregnancy on speech and language outcomes in children: a systematic review”.
http://www.systematicreviewsjournal.com/content/3/1/1
Don’t patronize me with ‘dear’. The
Her study/thesis is waiting o be published but these are her observations
http://cphpost.dk/news/children-whose-mothers-drank-during-pregnancy-perform-better.8219.html
This article has links to studies you can peruse – dear – saying that there is no proof FASD is caused with 8.5 drinks per week, FASD occurs only in those who are alcoholics and binge drink.
http://www2.potsdam.edu/alcohol/FetalAlcoholSyndrome.html#.UwQjvny9KSM
I have chosen to not drink myself during my pregnancy – but science does support those who would like the occasional drink and shouldn’t be judged by people like you
We’re talking about moderate alcohol consumption and there is no research yet which points to any foetal harm from moderate gestational alcohol consumption. Have a look at this research article if you even care to. And scroll down to the “Conclusions” if you don’t have time.
http://www.systematicreviewsjournal.com/content/3/1/1
I see you have three special needs children which is why I am sure you are so passionate about protecting the unborn child. With no means of malice – do you believe this was caused by something you did or did not do?
Also the Harvard link IS a study. Articles published in medical journals must be based on concluded studies
I pity your children. Your either old or uneducated or both . And your comment is invalid. Nobody on here us condoning binge drinking throughout pregnancy simply that one glass of wine with a meal at 8 months won’t hurt. Perhaps you don’t understand the difference. Again ignorance. You have nothing to back up your ridiculous claim. Or maybe we all misunderstood and all of those kids you mentioned belong to dead beat parents who have substance abuse problems. Their your friends. You tell us.
There is a clear difference between getting drunk and having a 3 to 6oz that can be sipped over a two hour meal. Funny thing. I think it was completely ok for this guy not to feel comfortable serving her. i dont think it is ok for people like you to make vast generalizations over mental health issues with nothing to back it up.
Omg. At 8 months the baby is developed. No brain damage will occur as a result of one glass of wine with a meal. I’m saddened by how little you people know about pregnancy
Right. So if mom is eating McDonald’s and downing Pepsi for 9 months that’s ok? It’s the babies body too. Maybe McDonald’s should warn their customers. This discussion is not about getting drunk or being an alcoholic while expecting
The leading cause of harm to a fetus in utero is not drinking or smoking but poor nutrition due to poverty or (in the US) lack of health care. If our society truly cared about the health of unborn babies it would increase minimum wage and welfare…and FAS occurs in the 1st 2-3 months of pregnancy (when most women don’t even know they are pregnant) NOT in the final months of pregnancy as with this woman under discussion.
Look at her for crying out loud! If you thinks she only drinks moderately and did not drink all theough her preganancy, I have a bridge to sell to you
So glad you wrote that.. I now see who I was dealing with… an IDIOT TO COMPARE McDonald’s to alcohol!
as you said you pitied my children I think I have every right to ask if your mom drank while pregnant with you… it sure seems like it!
You are incorrect. Please see my other comment.
Well, everyone knows that anecdotes that imply correlation are the same thing as evidence that proves causation, so i guess your comment/opinion is super valuable. Glad you shared it!
It’s not the waiters job to decide if she gets a glass of wine, any more than it’s up to a convenience store clerk to decide who gets to eat a bag of doritos. We don’t live in a society where strangers get to make decisions about what we’re allowed to eat and drink.
Thanks for yr brilliant sarcasm. Save it for some years from now when you will know how her kid turned out. Somehow I don’t believe she only began drinking at 8 months pregnant.
Oh! Sorry, i didn’t realize that you made snap judgements about people you don’t know based on nothing but prejudice and zero information! Now that i do, I’m positive that you’re right about everything!!
“The problem with drinking alcohol during your pregnancy is that there is no amount that has been proven to be safe,” says Jacques Moritz, MD, director of gynecology at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital in New York.
Thank you, Deanna… Knew you would finally come to your senses:) btw… I base my info on people I have known in Montreal who have not put any limitations on themselves and drank thru their pregnancies. Go ahead and drink “moderately” through yours one day.. You have my blessings.
This isn’t about judging. Why do people assume this is about judging? This is about protecting a human being’s right to an alcohol free 9 months gestation. Get over yourself.
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh26-1/58-65.htm
You think the picture of the women guzzling the wine is real? Now I see. If you see a picture if sans does that mean he’s real too? This conversation is over. I can’t reason with someone who is this dumb. The picture is an exaggeration. Someone’s silly idea of a joke.
http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0049407
Thank the good Lord you were the photographer so you would know if real or not! Damn I should’ve had a V-8! Now finally shut up
““The problem with drinking alcohol during your pregnancy is that there is no amount that has been proven to be safe,” says Jacques Moritz, MD, director of gynecology at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital in New York.“
I really really appreciate your stance on this subject Maxwell. You are amazingly well spoken and I completely agree with your stance. Those who are on the side of “oh it’s fine to drink while pregnant” obviously have some FASD side affects from when their mothers drank. hahaha, all jokes aside. I worked for Children’s Aid in adoptions and heard awful awful awful stories and saw some really brain damaged children because of alcohol consumption in pregnant women. In no way is drinking while pregnant acceptable and I too as a retired young server would not want that on my hands.
Your obviously very stubborn and cant admit when your wrong. I followed the picture to the actual source so in fact know it was intended to be a joke. So perhaps you should up instead now.
You are the most immature elderly lady I have ever encountered. Should we really get to mother bashing? Since your mother probably had you 50 years before evidence proved the effects from cigarettes and alcohol it’s probably safe to assume she consumed both regularily not in moderation and never put u in a child seat. Maybe you have side effects because of that…I on the other hand work in the health industry and understand what I’m talking about. The topic st hand may I remind you us about One glass of wine with a meal for a lady who is 8 months pregnant. Have some perspective.
This is not a research article. Although it cites several articles, it makes some broad assumptions and never references moderate drinking. The other link you posted however is pretty good.
This is actually an excellent study done by an unbiased group of professionals, so I’m convinced and will be referring to it in the future.
Having said that, I still would not sympathise with a law banning restaurants from serving pregnant women.
What is really interesting is if you ask people what is a drink, they will tell you it’s a shot of hard liquor or a glass of wine. What they don’t realize is that a shot glass holds more than 1.5 ounces of alcohol (which is what 1 drink is for purposes of these studies) or 5 ounces of table wine (which no one drink, seriously, take a look at a “standard” glass of wine) or 12 ounces of beer. Did you know that, for purposes of studying alcohol during pregnancy binge drinking is categorized as 4 or more drinks? That’s 20 ounces of wine. There’s about 25 ounces in a typical bottle of wine. So, if you drink 3 drinks is that moderate? It’s not, it’s nearly binge drinking according to scientific studies. So what is moderate?
Alcohol is a teratogen. It crosses to the placenta. If you drink 1.5 ounces of alcohol and you weigh 140 lbs it takes 3 drinks to be .06. Most states have a drunk driving limit of .08. So, let’s assume your fetus is midway through a typical gestational period and weighs 3 lbs. How much alcohol do you need to cross the placenta to pickle that fetus? Alcohol enters the mother’s blood stream (let’s assume she’s a .06 now) and it crosses FREELY. Completely undiluted. Whatever is in the mother’s blood is now in the cord blood and transferring to the fetus. So you 3 lb. fetus has a .06 level of alcohol in it’s blood.
Unbelievable that a woman would avoid aspirin, coffee, getting a tattoo, whatever while preggers and think that alcohol is okay. It’s the nature of addiction to be in denial, but pregnancy is a good time to get help. And there is help out there.
I am raising 3 children, all affected by their birth mother’s poor choices. Do not play Russian roulette with your baby.
There is a big difference between an occasional glass of wine, and how much women drink to hurt those poor babies. I worked for the CAS as well. Those women did not limit themselves to one glass of wine, you know this to be true.
You are my hero. Your sarcasm made my day, sorting through this ignorance is irritating. thank you for being awesome!
This discussion is about 1 glass of wine, not 1 glass and a shot, or 3 glasses. You seem to be sensationalizing this debate. Perhaps your questions are best fit for an OB, as you don’t believe the studies provided for you here. There are no studies that show 1 glass of wine will hurt your unborn child, if there was, our OB’s would never suggest it.
So…. real question, not sarcastic: Why are you assuming that the “no limits drinking” of the people you know is the standard? Do you really think that just because some people don’t know how to control themselves that other people shouldn’t be permitted to drink one glass of wine? I’m genuinely curious to understand the thinking behind your comments…
ha! thanks :)
The research was led by Dr. Ronald Gray from Oxford. This is the overview of the study that convinced me of its legitimacy: http://www.dph.ox.ac.uk/newslisting/npeudrink
Because seriously now… my doctor told me not to drink or smoke… I did smoke but never had even one glass… the smoking well, my baby weighed 7 lbds 11 oz. she could have been an 8 pounder the drinking he said, even one drink no one knows for sure… nothing has been proven when it comes to alcohol – nothing. So I air on the side of caution is that so wrong?
Even on this board opinions are divided and you who mock… well your really don’t know and either do I but I never mocked…that would be so immature..Most people are past that and just want to have a good debate.
It is ALWAYS wrong to reply with vitriol or prejudice or judgement, whether you think your opinions are well founded or whether your opinions are founded on mere personal experience and anecdotes. Please try to air your opinions with respect so that the internet can be a place of discussion and debate, rather than tantrums.
Are you re reading what you wrote? I just stated how I felt and you went ballistic on me:):):) anyways I’m outta here have a great life everyone:):):)
Agreed!!!!
The alcoholic isn’t making a choice for an unborn child…
The server isn’t trying to “own” anything. He was simply not comfortable with serving alcohol to a pregnant woman. This woman is making choices for her unborn child that are potentially dangerous. Yes, it’s her body, but what about the baby’s body? He/she does not get to choose what nutrition or poison he/she absorbs from mother’s choices. BTW, a glass of wine while pregnant is not a “good” thing. Perhaps it won’t do any harm, but many doctors advise to abstain from alcohol altogether during pregnancy. The young waiter wasn’t being a “little turd” or acting rude. Personally, I don’t know what I would have done in this situation in my waitressing/bartending days. It would have made me uncomfortable too.
I’m guessing you’ve never been pregnant. I’m also guessing you don’t have any medical knowledge. A glass of wine is actually recommended in your third trimester. And one glass of wine is not going to hurt at any point. Do some research.
smart serve does not teach people not to serve alcohol to pregnant women. They teach people that it is mandatory to put up a sigh to warn people of the potential danger of the overconsumption of alcohol during pregancy so that they can make their own informed choice.
OH MY GOD – YOU ARE JUDGING – read your comments. Get over yourself.
You are seeing this as black and white – and it’s not. I read the article you sent me but you clearly still haven’t read the other three I sent you. Or found counter-arguments. I’ve read all of the comments you have posted in previous articles and you are severely judgmental. But usually those who judge the harshest, feel guilt themselves
It’s more than 9 months If your breastfeeding.
I don’t think it’s right or wrong to want an occasional drink while pregnant but it’s definitely the mom’s choice just as it is her choice how to parent the baby, what kind of vaccines to give the baby, what to feed the baby, all having Different Potential Harmful Effects On The Baby.
You sure do a lot of guessing! No, I have not yet been pregnant, but my husband and I have been talking
about trying for a baby this year. I have spoken to my GP, by ObGyn and
a specialist I had to see, and I have studied medicine. So yes, I have done lots of research actually. I think if you did some thorough research as well you would find that many doctors advise abstaining from alcohol during pregnancy altogether. I have never met a doctor or even a premed student who would “recommend” alcohol during pregnancy, not even a glass of wine, and definitely not in the eighth month. The potential harm caused by drinking small amounts of alcohol while pregnant is still not completely understood. As said by Kevin below, NO amount has been proven safe. It depends on how the individual woman absorbs/breaks down the alcohol she ingests, because this affects how long it is in her system and what the unborn child is exposed to. It is unlikely that a glass of wine will have negative effects, but because of the unknowns I would simply abstain from alcohol while pregnant. I don’t think this is a huge sacrifice to make to ensure the safety of the baby.
Riiiiiight… I’m sure you’ve “studied medicine”… The fact remains, it’s not up to a waiter to make decisions for a mother & her child. It’s up to the mother with the advice from her physician. Until you’ve been pregnant, you really don’t get a vote. Good for you and your choices. Let other people have theirs.
You should have read the study you cite more carefully. There is clear evidence that drinking during pregnancy incurs risk of FASD. Dose and point in gestational period are the unknowns. It is prudent to avoid all alcohol consumption during pregnancy. This is the conclusion of the study you cite: “Studies included in this review do not provide sufficient evidence to confirm or refute an association between low to moderate alcohol use during pregnancy and speech and language outcomes in children.” Note, neither confirm nor refute.
Thanks again for the judgement and more assuming things about a person you don’t know! And again, your response contains absolutely no reasonable facts. “Until you’ve been pregnant, you really don’t get a vote”. Well isn’t that intelligent. Being pregnant or having been pregnant doesn’t give you the magical ability to know better than others or make good choices, or be knowledgeable about the safety of a baby. It’s painfully ignorant. What about the 3 out of 10 teenage girls in America who get pregnant before 20 years of age? Do they “get a vote”? Are you saying that male doctors, and female doctors who do not/cannot have children “don’t get a vote”? This is a tangent I know, but come on. Yes, a woman should be able to make her own choices about her body, but she should know that they are also decisions and possible risks for her unborn child as well. One doesn’t have to be a mother to know and understand this information. You just make no sense.
Honestly, I think she was embarrassed and felt the need to insult this young person instead of dealing with it like a calm responsible adult person…. and the urban diplomat just played back into her hand… not very diplomatic at all.
Servers are instructed to make choices all of the time over whether or not to serve people. Had she had a conversation with him, or calmly spoken to the manager things could have been resolved. He expressed that he wasn’t comfortable, she could have requested a different server.
I was thinking the SAME thing!
If I were you, I would buy a dozen of wine and enjoy at home without ham other good guy like this server, also enjoy the consequence of this choice.
If I were the server, I would serve you after you give an initial on my note ” I fully take responsibility on my choices”, for in case you sue me on your careless decision.
First of all, a single glass of wine isn’t going to harm your baby (especially after 8 months. The little one is pretty much fully developed at this point). Secondly, your body, your choice. If you choose to chug a gallon of gasoline while pregnant, that is no one’s business but your own (although I’d strongly advise against it). This waiter was being judgmental and presumptuous- seriously, how dare a complete stranger- 22-year-old male, no less- think he could know better than you do what’s good for you and your baby?
I am a bartender, and Ontario SmartServe policies regulate very strongly against serving people who are underage, intoxicated, or to the point of intoxication. A server is also liable if an intoxicated person is violent or drives drunk. But nowhere in the entire legislation does it say anything about refusing a drink to a pregnant patron. So unless you were already drunk, belligerent, or planning on driving home, this server was completely out of line.
That is true. The server is unquestionably in the wrong, but there’s no reason we can’t be adults about it.
The Smart Serve certification process is very clear about what judgment calls a server is expected to make, and pregnancy doesn’t come up. You may not serve someone who is underage or intoxicated, and you may not serve someone to the point of intoxication, especially if they are driving. But there is no rule that says you cannot serve a pregnant person, and for good reason- she probably knows a lot better than you do what is good for her.
A glass of wine at 8 months isn’t going to harm the baby. I’m sorry, but the customer here is a full-fledged adult human person, and her rights take priority. Smart Serve certification doesn’t give you the right to go around imposing your own judgment on others. Underage kids aren’t mature enough to handle their liquor, an intoxicated person is too drunk to know they shouldn’t drink anymore, and that’s why we refuse service to them. But a pregnant person probably knows a lot more about being pregnant and what’s good for them than you do, so if you want to work in service, you better get “comfortable” with customers making their own decisions about what to drink.