Dear Urban Diplomat: Am I allowed to decorate my house any way I want at Halloween?
Dear Urban Diplomat,
Every Halloween, I do up my lawn as a graveyard, scatter body parts around the porch and hang a fake corpse from a tree. Last year, someone slipped a note in my mailbox asking me to make it less scary or they’d call the city. Am I breaking any laws? What should I do?
—Wicked Witch of the West, Etobicoke
As long as those body parts aren’t real, you’re fine. For those of us who aren’t occultists or Slipknot fans, Halloween is the rare occasion when we get to dabble in the macabre. Your decorations sound festive to me, and since there aren’t any bylaws regulating Halloween scare tactics, the unneighbourly threat to sic the city on you is toothless. I wouldn’t tone it down—though I wouldn’t crank it up, either. If you start hanging pentagrams, consulting Ouija boards or sacrificing livestock, you’ve gone too far. Keep calm and scary on—just be sure not to leave the decorations up once the occasion has passed. Going all out is admirable. Neglecting to pack it in is unforgivable.
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![](http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https://torontolife.com/city/urban-diplomat-wicked-witch-of-the-west/&title=Dear Urban Diplomat: Am I allowed to decorate my house any way I want at Halloween?&picture=https://torontolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/urban-diplomat-halloween.jpg&description=[caption id="attachment_238603" align="alignleft" width="292"] (Image: Chad Horwedel)[/caption]
Dear Urban Diplomat,
Every Halloween, I do up my lawn as a graveyard, scatter body parts around the porch and hang a fake corpse from a tree. Last year, someone slipped a note in my mailbox asking me to make it less scary or they’d call the city. Am I breaking any laws? What should I do?
—Wicked Witch of the West, Etobicoke
As long as those body parts aren’t real, you’re fine. For those of us who aren’t occultists or Slipknot fans, Halloween is the rare occasion when we get to dabble in the macabre. Your decorations sound festive to me, and since there aren’t any bylaws regulating Halloween scare tactics, the unneighbourly threat to sic the city on you is toothless. I wouldn’t tone it down—though I wouldn’t crank it up, either. If you start hanging pentagrams, consulting Ouija boards or sacrificing livestock, you’ve gone too far. Keep calm and scary on—just be sure not to leave the decorations up once the occasion has passed. Going all out is admirable. Neglecting to pack it in is unforgivable.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com){kind=link}
People need to lighten up. Last i checked Toronto wasn’t full of American-style HOAs telling us what we can and can’t do.
As a devoted fan of metal music, it concerns me that you’re painting occultists and Slipknot fans with the same brush. How much do you really know about Slipknot? What draws you to that conclusion in such a way that you can proclaim to be knowledgeable about the subject?
My response to the issue at hand is that it’s your property and your rules. Just as you can dress the way you want, to express yourself and who you are, if that is how you choose to celebrate Halloween, who is in a position to stop you from doing so?
So, if I were you, I’d keep doing what you’re doing. It’s a free country. If somebody wants to get offended by it, that’s not your cue to go trying to please them.
To quote Bill Cosby; “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
Also, consider that whoever left that note… even if you were to try and win their approval, you’d be trying to win the approval of somebody who is of that character (i.e. the type to leave notes in peoples’ mailboxes acting like they’re the mayor of the neighbourhood). Personally, that kind of person isn’t even worth thinking about. So, keep doing you, and rest in the comfort that nothing can be done to you.
I love that people do their gardens and houses the way they want to scare and share, have fun with it, think your neighbour needs to take a chill pill. Isn’t it about everyone having fun.
Keep it safe, and let the squares have their precious little sticks as far up their tight manicured asses as they want. Those of us who enjoy fun and weirdness have to bow to the mundanes the other 364 days of the year, but Halloween is ours. I bet your house looks awesome, and I fully support your awesome awesomeness. Make sure the creepiness is put away into its little cubby by All Saint’s Day, but let your freak flag fly on Halloween.