Dear Urban Diplomat: what’s the proper dinner-guest etiquette for Ramadan?
My wife and I were asked to a dinner party by some neighbours. The invite said 7 p.m., but it will be during Ramadan, when we can’t eat or have a drink until after sunset—so around 9 p.m. I mentioned this, and they said to just come along and they’ll serve dinner late. We don’t want to be the recipients of sideways glances from famished, clock-watching guests all evening. Should we decline, go over after 9 p.m., or what?
—Unfashionably Late, Upper Beach
Your hosts have graciously offered to push the schedule, and you should graciously accept. Don’t apologize or delay your arrival, but do insist that they serve drinks and appetizers to everyone else until sunset. If you still fear the ocular wrath of your fellow diners, bring along a plate of qatayef or a similarly festive dessert as an additional token of thanks.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com
![](http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https://torontolife.com/city/urban-diplomat-unfashionably-late/&title=Dear Urban Diplomat: what’s the proper dinner-guest etiquette for Ramadan?&picture=https://torontolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/urban-diplomat-unfashionably-late.jpg&description=[caption id="attachment_283390" align="alignright" width="292"] (Image: Rebecca Winzenried/Flickr)[/caption]Dear Urban Diplomat,
My wife and I were asked to a dinner party by some neighbours. The invite said 7 p.m., but it will be during Ramadan, when we can’t eat or have a drink until after sunset—so around 9 p.m. I mentioned this, and they said to just come along and they’ll serve dinner late. We don’t want to be the recipients of sideways glances from famished, clock-watching guests all evening. Should we decline, go over after 9 p.m., or what?
—Unfashionably Late, Upper Beach
Your hosts have graciously offered to push the schedule, and you should graciously accept. Don’t apologize or delay your arrival, but do insist that they serve drinks and appetizers to everyone else until sunset. If you still fear the ocular wrath of your fellow diners, bring along a plate of qatayef or a similarly festive dessert as an additional token of thanks.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com){kind=link}
“bring along a plate of qatayef” — lol what? Less than one-in-five Muslims are Arabs, you’re contributing to racial stereotyping.
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Is this letter fake? Or the writer is first time faster? Or the writer doesn’t have any non-muslim friends?
Bring lots of pork
why would you “insist that they serve drinks and appetizers to everyone else until sunset” when you know that the neighbors are Muslim and cant eat or drink?! The rule is that they are not allowed food and drink PERIOD. That doesnt exclude appetizers and pre meal drinks. Be polite and dont eat until they do, after all if they have fasted the whole day you can fast for 2 hours. One last thing, if you dont care to fast for two hours, eat a snack before going the party. Jeez I wish people would use common sense sometimes.
I think you are confused. The writer is the person who is fasting and were invited to the dinner party where the hosts and other guests are not fasting.
Whatever you do, don’t try to debate why their Mohammed consummated marriage with an 8 yr old. It’ll kill the dinner conversation in an instant.
oops! sorry im a dumbass