Dear Urban Diplomat: is arriving late to parties just part of Toronto culture?
Dear Urban Diplomat: is arriving late to parties just part of Toronto culture?
Dear Urban Diplomat,
I moved to Toronto from Tokyo about a year ago. Maybe it’s just a difference in cultures, but no one shows up for my parties on time. Where I’m from, if an invitation says 8 p.m., you show up at 8 p.m. Here, some guests arrive an hour late and don’t even apologize. Often, I am too annoyed to enjoy myself. Any tips for handling this situation next time?
—Times Have Changed, CABBAGETOWN
Fashionable tardiness is often pushed to extremes in Toronto. Maybe we’d sooner risk being rude than arrive first. Or maybe we’re all stuck in traffic. Whatever the reason, you can start by clarifying your invitations. If it’s a come-and-go party, encourage people to drop by any time after 6. That way, people will start rolling in around 8. If it’s a dinner party, build in a buffer: cocktails at 6, dinner at 7. People always show up for food. If they don’t, there’s always Plan B: rent a bouncy castle.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at [email protected]
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Dear Urban Diplomat,
I moved to Toronto from Tokyo about a year ago. Maybe it’s just a difference in cultures, but no one shows up for my parties on time. Where I’m from, if an invitation says 8 p.m., you show up at 8 p.m. Here, some guests arrive an hour late and don’t even apologize. Often, I am too annoyed to enjoy myself. Any tips for handling this situation next time?
—Times Have Changed, CABBAGETOWN
Fashionable tardiness is often pushed to extremes in Toronto. Maybe we’d sooner risk being rude than arrive first. Or maybe we’re all stuck in traffic. Whatever the reason, you can start by clarifying your invitations. If it’s a come-and-go party, encourage people to drop by any time after 6. That way, people will start rolling in around 8. If it’s a dinner party, build in a buffer: cocktails at 6, dinner at 7. People always show up for food. If they don’t, there’s always Plan B: rent a bouncy castle.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com){kind=link}
OMG I feel your pain. This is the bain of my “party throwing” exsistence. I feel (especially if you are cooking) that it is unbelievably rude for people to stroll in when they feel like it. I have taken to giving very specific timelines on my invites now (i.e. food will be served between 6-7)… and after a few tries, my friends now understand and RESPECT my invitation and times.
It has never been the fashion in the West to show up exactly at the appointed time for a party – it gives the hostess breathing time for those last minute details. Between ten and twenty minutes late is normal and should be expected, but over 30 minutes is rude and requires an apology and explanation from the guests such as traffic or baby-sitting emergency.