Dear Urban Diplomat: my wife wants to give out toothbrushes on Halloween—should she?
Dear Urban Diplomat,
My wife is a dentist and wants to give out toothbrushes instead of candy for Halloween. I told her this is a lame idea and that our house will likely get egged, but she’s digging in. Is trick-or-treating the right time to make a statement about dental health, or should she just let kids stuff their faces with chocolate?
—Tooth or Dare, Liberty Village
There’s something admirable about taking an unpopular stand. Your wife could easily conform and hand out candy—after all, it would be better for business—but she clearly cares more about people’s teeth than her own popularity. Still, from a kid’s point of view, there’s nothing laudable about handing out toothbrushes on Halloween. In fact, it’s downright spooky. Since your wife feels so strongly about her anti-candy crusade, I suggest handing out cool, unsweetened treats, like stickers or yo-yos or sugar-free gum. Halloween is one of the few times kids get to unleash their inner Augustus Gloop. Your wife should let them spend their night running from ghosts and zombies instead of cavities and gum disease.
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13 thoughts on “Dear Urban Diplomat: my wife wants to give out toothbrushes on Halloween—should she?”
Dear Truth or Dare. Why is that decision left entirely to her?? Do you not live there too.??? Why don’t you grow a pair and buy some chocolate and give it out as well.
MY DENTIST TRIED TO DRUG ME
Not unless you want your house egged back to the stone age.
My sister Kathy gives out toothbrushes every Halloween. And for Christmas and birthdays, too. And wedding anniversaries. And…well, you get the gist.
Do family members still talk to her?
Kathy’s suspended indefinitely from Ford family functions. And that is all the people need to know.
I remember as a kid a house (owned by a dentist) gave out toothbrushes every year – no eggs, most of the kids thought it was funny/cool. If you didn’t want a toothbrush, you just skipped the house.
If you really want to be the fun police and make sure kids don’t get cavities, hand out that purple “Chews” gum that tastes like soap. A gum that’s so disgusting it’s guaranteed never to give kids cavities.
I loved that gum!
Tell your wife to go ahead–she has my blessing.
There are families in Liberty Village?
Oh yes, give out toothbrushes on Halloween. While you’re at it, write “You’ll Die Alone” on your Valentines and give your kids a sack of coal with a note that reads “by the way, there is no Santa Claus” for Christmas.
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