Dear Urban Diplomat: How do we tell our neighbour that we can hear him watching porn?

Dear Urban Diplomat,
My husband and I live in a semi, and every night around midnight our neighbour, a single guy in his 40s, watches an hour and a half of porn, loud enough that we hear every moan and groan. We want our innocence back. Help!
—Semi-Disgusted, Little Italy

Ninety minutes? Let’s pause for a moment to admire his commitment to long-form erotic entertainment. . . okay, that’s enough. Yes, you have every right to complain. While a friendly chat can solve most problems, not so this one. Put a polite note in his mailbox, signed, asking if he’d mind turning down the volume, but without specifying what you’ve been overhearing. Don’t embarrass or anger him, as it’s unwise to get on the wrong side of a man who has this kind of time (and Lord knows what else) on his hands. If things don’t improve, call 311 and lodge a complaint.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com