Dear Urban Diplomat: is it okay to demand weird things from restaurant servers?
I recently went to the Octagon steak house with a friend, who asked that her rib-eye be cooked in milk and red wine. Weird, I know. The waiter politely refused, explaining the process is carefully thought out by the chef. My friend bitched about it the whole meal. I think her outrage was unjustified, but I could use some backup. What say you?
—Minor Beef, King West
Though the request was peculiar, it was okay for your friend to ask. All restaurants receive special orders from the allergic, vegan, gluten-averse, nitpicky public. But the server was well within his rights to politely refuse, and your friend should have graciously accepted defeat. I would have told my date as much and then artfully segued to less contentious conversation. Still, I get why you bit your tongue. Next time, invite friends so that if the experience repeats itself, you can talk to someone else, drown her out, or team up and put her in her place.
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![](http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https://torontolife.com/city/urban-diplomat-minor-beef/&title=Dear Urban Diplomat: is it okay to demand weird things from restaurant servers?&picture=https://torontolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/urban-diplomat-minor-beef.jpg&description=[caption id="attachment_275114" align="alignright" width="292"] (Image: Renée Suen/Toronto Life Flickr Pool)[/caption]Dear Urban Diplomat,
I recently went to the Octagon steak house with a friend, who asked that her rib-eye be cooked in milk and red wine. Weird, I know. The waiter politely refused, explaining the process is carefully thought out by the chef. My friend bitched about it the whole meal. I think her outrage was unjustified, but I could use some backup. What say you?
—Minor Beef, King West
Though the request was peculiar, it was okay for your friend to ask. All restaurants receive special orders from the allergic, vegan, gluten-averse, nitpicky public. But the server was well within his rights to politely refuse, and your friend should have graciously accepted defeat. I would have told my date as much and then artfully segued to less contentious conversation. Still, I get why you bit your tongue. Next time, invite friends so that if the experience repeats itself, you can talk to someone else, drown her out, or team up and put her in her place.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com){kind=link}
the Charlie Kelly classic – Milk Steak
No one has an allergy to steak that’s not cooked in milk and red wine, so asking for something totally off the menu is ridiculous. If you’ve had steak cooked that way at another restaurant, then go there. Octagon does grilled steaks. That’s what they serve.
Or just cook at home, if you’re so particular. Why even bother paying for a meal prepared by a professional chef if you’re going to refuse to let them cook it the way they believe is best?