Dear Urban Diplomat: Someone posted an embarrassing video of me on YouTube. Can I ask them to remove it?

Dear Urban Diplomat,
I wore my Boston Bruins jersey to a Jays game recently and some drunk guy threw a hot dog at me. I freaked out and said some things I regret. Unfortunately, the hot dog thrower recorded the incident and posted it on YouTube. I want to get in touch and ask him to remove it. Any tips on what to say?

—Colonel Mustard, Yonge and Eg

How bad is it? F-bombs galore? Messy crying? A hysterical plea to “keep your wieners to yourself”? No matter. My advice is to do nothing. Ignore me if you want, but this is how it will likely go down: you write a polite email asking hot dog guy to please remove the video; he adds your letter to the video’s description on YouTube; now that it contains the added hilarity of a pleading message from Mustard Man, thousands of people share the video, and your embarrassment proliferates. I’m afraid the only way to win is not to play. Take solace in the fact that it will soon be one of millions of forgotten clips of drunken sports fans ranting about condiments.

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