TTC wants public’s input on new streetcars, we oblige
The TTC is asking the public to help design the city’s new streetcars. The commission’s Web site presents a few downloadable templates so that the public can have its way with the iconic vehicles. The scheme smacks of PR—something to keep riders distracted during the Transit City delay, perhaps?—but it’s the kind that is totally irresistible to commuters looking to exact revenge on the creaky, aging versions they must endure every day. With that in mind, this is how we would make the new streetcars even more awesome.
For the exterior:
1) Cowcatcher to discourage jaywalkers
2) Rear spoiler for aerodynamics
3) Ladder for car surfing
4) Purple flames to emphasize “Riding the Rocket”
5) Powerful laser beam that can change all red lights to greens
6) In addition to streetcar number, the LED scroll sign will feature live Twitter fights between mayoral candidates
7) Astromech droid to help with repairs and to change rail direction so that drivers don’t have to get out and do it themselves with a crowbar
For the interior:
1) Black light to indicate which seats are soiled with blood
2) Disco ball to accommodate Friday-night streetcar parties
3) Luxurious curtains for those long commutes
4) Outlets for industrial-strength Glade Plug-Ins
5) Authentic faux designer leopard print seats
6) Grates in the floor to drain away spilled coffee, cola, urine, etc.
7) Spring-loaded seats to eject anyone taking up two seats
