#TorontoIsFailingMe: My parents worked round-the-clock to lift us out of poverty
Abirami Jeyaratnam, 29
Victoria Park and Ellesmere
My parents fled Sri Lanka as refugees from the civil war, arriving in Canada 30 years ago. My brother, Gobi, was born in 1981. I was born in Montreal in 1986, and we moved to Toronto in 1987, settling near relatives at Jane and Finch. My father, a high school dropout, loved Canada and thrived here. He worked at an automotive factory and at a KFC. In between, he picked up paper routes, delivery jobs, whatever he could do to make extra cash. He woke up every day at 5 a.m. and usually didn’t finish work until midnight. My mother and we kids would go to pick him up; that car ride was our family time. He worked like that until he had a heart attack in 2000. After he recovered, he took on a position as a security guard at a residential apartment.
My mother never adjusted to life in Canada and felt cut off from her family. Back in Sri Lanka, she had worked as a court stenographer. She couldn’t find a steady job in Toronto—she worked as a lunchroom supervisor at an elementary school, as a receptionist and at a day care; she did data entry at CIBC, mattress stitching, spot welding. None lasted very long and she became depressed. She had these spells when she would sleep all day, unable to do anything. I tried to compensate. In high school, I got a summer job in a cosmetics factory and worked at SportChek after school. I also helped my parents with delivery jobs.
In 2008, my parents finally bought a small semi-detached bungalow near Victoria Park and Ellesmere. In 2012, they took a trip to Sri Lanka and India to visit family. On the trip, my father developed a lung infection, experienced complications and died. It was a terrible shock to all of us, especially my mother, who upon returning to Canada experienced a grand mal seizure, as well as several smaller seizures. Despite many tests, doctors weren’t able to diagnose the cause. I think it had to do with her depression and stress.
Today I live with my mother and look after her; she depends on me. I feel like I’ve been cut off from the Canadian dream—I can’t travel or schmooze downtown or worry about my LinkedIn profile. Money is tight: I have a job as a support worker at Pathways to Education, an agency that helps young people from low-income neighbourhoods with mentoring and advocacy work. My brother is now married and completing his PhD in public health. I often think about how my parents came here with nothing and still managed to put a roof over our heads. My parents invested in us—we were their RRSPs.
—as told to Aparita Bhandari
![](http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https://torontolife.com/city/toronto-is-failing-me-my-parents-worked-round-the-clock-to-lift-us-out-of-poverty/&title=#TorontoIsFailingMe: My parents worked round-the-clock to lift us out of poverty&picture=https://torontolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/toronto-is-failing-me-victoria-park-ellesmere.jpg&description=Toronto's inner suburbs have become shorthand for crumbling postwar apartment blocks, underfunded schools or gang warfare. They’re among the neighbourhoods with the lowest incomes in the city, the longest trek to a TTC stop, and the highest concentration of immigrants and visible minorities. This month, we're sharing stories from Torontonians who live in the inner suburbs, told in their own words. Some are shocking, some tragic, some hopeful. Together, they convey an urgent truth: Toronto is failing too many of its citizens. Have a story of your own? Tweet, Facebook, or Instagram with the hashtag #TorontoIsFailingMe to tell us.
[caption id="attachment_304405" align="aligncenter" width="656"] Abirami Jeyaratnam at her Victoria Park and Ellesmere semi. (Image: Eamon Mac Mahon)[/caption]
Abirami Jeyaratnam, 29
Victoria Park and Ellesmere
My parents fled Sri Lanka as refugees from the civil war, arriving in Canada 30 years ago. My brother, Gobi, was born in 1981. I was born in Montreal in 1986, and we moved to Toronto in 1987, settling near relatives at Jane and Finch. My father, a high school dropout, loved Canada and thrived here. He worked at an automotive factory and at a KFC. In between, he picked up paper routes, delivery jobs, whatever he could do to make extra cash. He woke up every day at 5 a.m. and usually didn’t finish work until midnight. My mother and we kids would go to pick him up; that car ride was our family time. He worked like that until he had a heart attack in 2000. After he recovered, he took on a position as a security guard at a residential apartment.
My mother never adjusted to life in Canada and felt cut off from her family. Back in Sri Lanka, she had worked as a court stenographer. She couldn’t find a steady job in Toronto—she worked as a lunchroom supervisor at an elementary school, as a receptionist and at a day care; she did data entry at CIBC, mattress stitching, spot welding. None lasted very long and she became depressed. She had these spells when she would sleep all day, unable to do anything. I tried to compensate. In high school, I got a summer job in a cosmetics factory and worked at SportChek after school. I also helped my parents with delivery jobs.
In 2008, my parents finally bought a small semi-detached bungalow near Victoria Park and Ellesmere. In 2012, they took a trip to Sri Lanka and India to visit family. On the trip, my father developed a lung infection, experienced complications and died. It was a terrible shock to all of us, especially my mother, who upon returning to Canada experienced a grand mal seizure, as well as several smaller seizures. Despite many tests, doctors weren’t able to diagnose the cause. I think it had to do with her depression and stress.
Today I live with my mother and look after her; she depends on me. I feel like I’ve been cut off from the Canadian dream—I can’t travel or schmooze downtown or worry about my LinkedIn profile. Money is tight: I have a job as a support worker at Pathways to Education, an agency that helps young people from low-income neighbourhoods with mentoring and advocacy work. My brother is now married and completing his PhD in public health. I often think about how my parents came here with nothing and still managed to put a roof over our heads. My parents invested in us—we were their RRSPs.
—as told to Aparita Bhandari){kind=link}
.dd
So how exactly is Toronto failing this person? Is it because she can’t “travel or schmooze downtown or worry about (her) LinkedIn profile”? Many, many people have to cope with ill family members and untimely deaths, yet they carry on. Hundreds of thousands of immigrants to Toronto over the past centuries have felt “cut off from family” yet they did the best they could without resorting to sleeping all day. All this insufferable whining is wearing a little thin.
Would love to hear the wisdom and perspectives of Rathika Sitsabaiesan (Sri Lankan-born Scarborough MP), Councillor Michael Thompson (the only black Toronto Councillor -and very popular), MPP Bas Balkissoon (Scarborough Rouge River), Councillors Chin Lee and Cho as well on these issues. All people of colour who have successfully navigated Toronto’s power structures, who work with hugely diverse communities, and have plenty of experience. Let’s hear about solutions too in this series.
ugh, what a whiny brat.
This is the second tamil family I am reading about in this series. You know whats funny? Srilankan Tamils came as refugees but in one generation, majority of them live in 300,000 dollar houses, have three cars when they work for minimum wage. I always wonder how do they pay mortage and insurance. If you learn to live within your means, you wouldn’t be in this situation. I cringe at the number of times, a second generation tamil kid go out dinner and drive around in expensive cars, when their 66 year old dads are still working in gas station. The lavish weddings and ceremonies makes me really fear for their future.
-From a new immigrant observer, who takes TTC and rent for 1/4th of my salary.
Hey come on, they have better things to do. Like fight for tamil rights in Srilanka, Muslims in Myanmar or Africans in Nigeria.
Many people in Toronto live like this, I don’t want to sound unsympathetic, but to be honest many people work two jobs (full-time and part-time). Like many other Torontonians it can be expensive in the city and difficult to find a career that is rewarding. Of course sometimes it can be depressing if you think of everything in a negative light but you need to see the positives and keep your head up!
She says: “I feel like I’ve been cut off from the Canadian dream—I can’t travel
or schmooze downtown or worry about my LinkedIn profile” Why not worry about your Linkedin profile? You can’t take 5 mins out of your day to login to see what opportunities are out there that may improve your lifestyle and well-being?
I believe that her comment is also stereotyping people that do go out downtown or travel. Most people that decide to go out downtown aren’t swimming in money! They are merely treating themselves after a pay day, or they are racking up their Visa bill! BUT THEY WANT TO LIVE. Travel is also something that many people work very hard to obtain by cutting corners elsewhere and working extra hours so they will have income to save. You don’t have to be a CEO to save to go traveling. I worked in an office and served at a restaurant to save for traveling… It’s work, work, work but you need to find ways to make it fun and rewarding.
I heard on the radio that many Torontonians spend 50% of their paycheck on rent, but many of them still go out sometimes or go on a vacation I’m sure. They probably just budget on other things like groceries, weekly outings etc., My boyfriend works full time in retail and although it doesn’t have a high pay grade he still finds the ability to save money for rent or to go to a movie, or “schmooze” occasionally downtown.
you are a very stereotypical individual, not every Tamil person has the luxuries you so claim. Get your facts straight.
Hey Dee,
It”s also stereotypical in this article to generalize that people that travel or go out downtown just happen to be “lucky” and were born in well-off families and “have the Canadian dream.” Many people work two jobs or crazy hours just so they can save money so they can afford to travel, go to university or afford rent.
It takes guts to share your story. We set benchmarks for one’s 20s as we do for every age, but oftentimes these are based on the opportunities afforded to middle-class people of good health. Insert immigration, race, health complications, and that ideal picture no longer holds. I cannot imagine how difficult it is to lose your father, or have to care for your mother. I salute Abirami for her courage. You are not alone out there. You will have everything you want, in time!
It is possible to go up within one generation if you invest in education. As you say, there may be some that fall within how you describe it but I know of many who have invested a lot of hard work into becoming professionals and have afforded such luxuries. This is why canada is a great country to be, if you work hard enough, you can suceed regardless of your background.
For everyone bitching about the sad story, reminder: You are reading “Toronto Life” not “Articles to Make You Feel Warm and Fuzzy Inside”.
Secondly: Put yourself in her shoes. It’s a sad fucking place to be, show some compassion.
Lastly: If you believe anyone working 5am to 12am, just to make ends meet is okay, you’re part of the fucking problem. Too many families live like this, and it’s not okay.
Wow how sympathetic are we Torontonians! I am convinced that if she was white she wouldn’t be receiving all of these “i don’t give a sh*t” comments.
She has lost so much (valuable time with family, family members, ability to enjoy the simple things and more) and all we can say is Boo hoo, stop whining, seriously?? People are so messed up. Seriously where is the compassion here?
Insufferable whining? I am sorry you are suffering having heard this person’s story. I am sorry that you don’t have the empathy to understand the long lasting impacts and PTSD that arise from fleeing a civil war. I am sorry that that you have failed to comprehend the threads of systemic barriers that underlie Abirami’s story. But above all, I am sorry that you can’t look past your own experiences, and instead choose to diminish the voice of this woman whose story is meant to showcase those who actually are wearing a little thin.
The article while definitely not making me feel warm and fuzzy inside is a bit misleading, and she does not present a compelling case as to how Toronto has failed her.
What has happened to this woman has nothing to do with her color. The idea that Toronto has failed her because as an immigrant her father had to work hard and got sick and died is a stretch to say the least, and to blame anyone for it is ridiculous.
We shouldn’t be so quick to judge without being in her shoes. Life for immigrants is hard – especially if English is a second language for them, jobs are limited, especially if they don’t have a lot of family, relatives to provide support here in Toronto, especially if they don’t belong to the ‘dominant culture’ or are not part of ‘white privilege’, or they don’t have generations of trust funds or financial/emotional support around and social networks to build on.
Think about when her parents came to Canada and times when multiculturalism was still growing in the 70s and 80s, and yes, despite how far we’ve come in Toronto, there’s still ignorance and systemic barriers that prevent people from the ‘Canadian Dream’. It’s commendable that her and her brother were able to achieve what they have, but yes at the great expense of other things. In Canada, if you do well in school, get an education or just work hard, you will have opportunities.
However, this is the reality for her as a 2nd generation person. You are your parents’ RRSP (and rightly so, because they worked their asses off) but this is the case for many people. She cannot compare her situation to those kids who came from rich families who get to schmooze and parade their accomplishments on Linkedin. You can’t judge them either, you don’t know them or their story.
Yes, the cost of living in Toronto is high. We must do more as a society to help those hardworking citizens to get out of their debts. She should be proud of her achievements and if she’s unhappy with Toronto’s state of affairs, be engaged to change things for future generations. That starts by telling her story to help people understand…so thank you.
I have to agree….how has Toronto failed her???…and getting really tired of the “if she was white s@#t!!
Guys she’s basically trying to say is she can’t do what a normal 20-25 year old does because she has to take care of her mother and has responsibilities a young adult usually doesn’t need to deal with at a certain age. A lot of young adults are working two jobs but don’t need to worry about their mortgage, bills, car payments etc… cause their parents usually take care of it for them. They can spend the money they earn on trips to the islands and stuff. Show some sympathy, not just Sri Lankan tamil but Chinese, Russians, and heck even white young adults are dealing with pressure in Toronto. Ultimately this will shape her into a stronger woman and will take her further in life. Best of luck!
It’s unfortunate that they chose to use this hashtag. I have seen another of these stories that in no way shows how the subject has been failed if anything he persevered under less than favorable conditions No one expects to show up in a new country and for everything to be roses, it wasn’t that way ever for the majority of immigrants even those from Europe.. And, on the subject of white people, I suspect that it was white people who came up with the hashtag in the first place.
Translation: I watched a lot of Sex and the City when I was grow uping and I believe that’s the life I’m entitled to! I totally pictured myself in my 20’s hanging out with Carrie, Samantha and the whole crew while we dishing about boys!
Then reality stuck and I realized life is hard. No fair!
Seriously, she just sounds like a self-entitled princess. You get to live in a country free of the dangers of war and violence while having great opportunities to better yourself financially.
If Canada is so bad why not move home and live the Tamil Tiger dream?
I’m also a first gen tamil and wow, i’m surprised by the lack of empathy. I fared a little better but i empathize with her struggles. Her family unit broke down, she struggles financially and their hopes for a better future in Canada have “failed” them. She’s not looking for handouts or on welfare, she and her parents worked like crazy. I have a feeling that when she talks about people going downtown or worrying about Linkedin, she’s not being judgy. It’s because she feels the same undercurrent of exclusion, poverty, etc. that her parents felt. That cycle can feel pretty hopeless.
Have you checked out her Linkedin since she did reference it in the article? This poor baby has a second degree from York U and managed to get herself appointed as a Director to the EQAO. If she was suffering so much in horrible old Toronto, she wouldn’t have the time nor the money (hope it wasn’t loans/grants that the rest of us awful Canadians financed) to waste on a Masters in Education. Sorry, but there are tons on other people of all colors, including white, who are far worse off than this little complainer. Also, you happen to be dead wrong when you state that if she were white people wouldn’t recognize her entitled, selfish attitude and call her out on it.
Honestly, Toronto fails in general when ANYONE has to work SEVERAL odd jobs from from 5 am til 12 am the next day to sustain a living for their family. The quality of life (which everyone deserves) is non existent. She never said that by working so hard that her father died because of it. She said that cause despite working so hard, she barely had quality time to spend with her own father – and now he’s gone.This is her experience basically telling the higher ups that Toronto needs a better system for immigrants/ newcomers. I mean don’t get me wrong, ppl work hard to get where they are now. But it would be nice if something better was implemented for newcomers to transition smoothly.
At the same time, though, many came to Canada with certain privileges already. I went to private school in the 90s where there were a good number of Canadians/immigrants/children of immigrants from Hong Kong (in addition to foreign boarders). Considering that their parents could pay the (then) $12-15K/year and live in nice homes in, say, Markham, I think the families didn’t really have to “navigate” much through the so-called “power structures” of the city.
How did Toronto fail them, in regards to fleeing a civil war? Unless the civil war was in Toronto. They were able to buy a semi-detached home. Have any idea how much those things cost? More than a few dollars. And, it seems her and her brother both received a decent education. PhD?
The single biggest hardship I see in this story is, she has to take care of her ill mother. And, I’ll guarantee, there are more people who agree with me, than with you, on this. And, no, as much as you’d like to pigeon-hole me as some kind of uneducated, xenophobic, racist,mean-spirited, heartless asshole, I am not. Some of the stories in this series have been very meaningful and somewhat eye opening – with true hardships and tragic failures. This is not one of them.
“Something better”? Oh, alright, well, that solves it. What would that be? More financial assistance? Job training? Free housing until they get on their feet? What exactly will you offer new immigrants that isn’t offered to residents? and will it depend on what they have to offer in return or will it just be across the board for veryone? It’s great t point fingers, and talk about how hard it is, but what’s your plan. The brother seemed to have one, he’s getting a Ph.D.
what eves, i had a 4 year old to raise by her age, lived on our own with no help from parents, had student loans up the ying yang and everything, i didnt get to go out party either, i dont feel sorry for her, at least she has a nice house to live in.
Oh, I have plenty of empathy for those who are genuinely suffering. This woman does not fall into that category by a long shot.
Keith, your wording that they “received” a decent education and bought a home makes it sound like it was handed to them. They worked their butts off to earn it and it seems she’s disillusioned now with the uphill struggle.
She’s just a 29 year old girl sharing her experience, it’s not an attack.
This article should be scrapped. Boohoo? I devoted most of my life to schooling and higher education, and I did not have time to go to “downtown or check my LinkedIn” profile either. I am not sure what she is trying to target here. I know people who who are in much more dire situations, friends who have no parents but yet are able to lead a happy life without any complaints. Many immigrant families have had to work hard like her parents did. My own parents worked factory jobs and juggled the odd jobs to support their family. Canada did not fail her or her family. We have great healthcare and many support services and government organisations. Just my 2 cents.
PS. I am Tamil. No need to roast my post about me being a white person being racist. I am being completely neutral
“The rest of us awful Canadians financed?” Her family probably pays taxes of all sorts just like you and every other Canadian has to, therefore if she wants a loan, she’s deserves it. Also, she wouldn’t have that job if she didn’t work hard for it, so don’t be condescending and call her things like “poor baby.”
Maybe consider getting to know a person before publicly shaming them?
University tuition is very heavily funded by government/taxpayers in Ontario.
And who are you to determine whether her tragedy and hardships are not meaningful/eye opening?
Also, why do you feel that more people would agree with your opinion over the opposite opinion, as you do “guarantee” it, in your comment. I’m genuinely asking where you got that from.
Her father had little education. What type of jobs did she expect him to have? Again, how did Toronto fail them?
You missed the point entirely.
This is not a tragic failure, by anyone’s imagination. It isn’t. Many people, of all backgrounds and all neighborhoods, live this exact type of life.
There are people who truly struggle, who will never get a PhD, or be able to buy a home. Which is utter and systemic failure. The family profiled here have done well enough – quite honestly.
I don’t blame the girl for telling her story. And there are clearly some hardships. But… there is no major failure here.
And who am I to determine what is meaningful or eye-opening? I am me. And it is my opinion. Which is subjective. Just like you having an issue what I find meaningful or a true failure, is also subjective.
Poor choice of word. However, my point is, they clearly had the resources to be able to attend university. And, to get to the level of PhD. Even with financial help, it’s still quite a feat. I know it may seem every other person in Toronto has a master’s degree or a PhD in Toronto, reality is, very few people reach that level of education.
And, I understand it takes work to be able to purchase a home, but that’s also my point! They were able to buy a decent home, which I doubt was cheap. There are people in this city who will never be able to buy a home. That’s a failure.
It seems this family has actually done quite well.
And no, I do not mean to disparage or diminish her experience – whatsoever. Except for a few hardships (having to take care of her mother), it seems this family has done relatively well. I don’t see any major failures.
Funny, my single mother escaped the same civil war at age 29 with a 2 year old in tow. Moved to Toronto with literally nothing in her pocket. Worked her ass off for the next 20 years, never remarried, and NO family here. Now she is quite successful in the restaurant business although she works 12 hours a day 6 days a week. She never could afford a house but tried her best to support me while I was in university. I couldn’t afford partying nor have I ever left Ontario since moving here and will likely not be able too for quite some time as I’m now paying for my medical school education. When I graduate I fully expect to take care of my mom not because I have to but because I WANT to. If there is one thing my mother is grateful for, Its Canada. Canada took us in. Canada gave us opportunities, Canada gave me the best education. Canada also gave us a future. Just because we suffered and have to work hard for it does not mean Toronto failed us. That’s called life.
The main purpose of the article was to shed a light as to how #TorontoIsFailingMe. I feel Abirami showed this through just how hard her parents had to work, to live an acceptable, lower middle income life. As a few have mentioned in the comments, no one should need to work as hard as her father had to support a family, it’s inhumane. Many have mentioned in the comments that they too shared struggles as Abirami, I’m sure she’s not looking for pity or for your compassion, she wants you to realize how Toronto has failed you too.
I love my city, there isn’t anywhere in the world I’d rather be, and that goes tenfold for my country, but as is everything, we are not without our flaws. I think this article shows how Toronto has failed us by means of
employment, job-wage and assistance in the transitions immigrants face.
One Love
I don’t understand how Toronto failed you. I commemorate you for supporting your mother, and being there for your family but life is tough. Everyone has problems and issues that they deal with on a regular basis. In all honesty, I think you should thank Toronto because although it was a tough life, it saved your folks from a civil war.
Awesome post. You and your mum should be very proud of yourselves!
Thank you very much :)
To conmary,
“Poor baby?” “little complainer?” “her entitled, selfish attitude…?”
You don’t have to agree with what she’s saying in the article, but that doesn’t give you the right to be condescending and just rude! If more than half these people know how to communicate their feelings or opinion properly here without stooping to this level, this discussion would be bearable to read. I highly recommend that the next time you decide to express your thoughts, perhaps speak in a decent and civil manner. Refrain from name-calling and maybe then the point you are trying to make in your comment can be understood by others. This is also directed to the other individuals that have posted a comment in this same manner.
Very well said!
I’m sure my point has been very well understood by others. When a person presents themselves as a victim despite circumstances that suggest otherwise, you can bet that others are going to call them out on it.
To Keith,
You say you “do not mean to disparage or diminish her experience” and yet in your initial post you did.
When you said this:
“Some of the stories in this series have been very meaningful and somewhat eye opening – with true hardships and tragic failures. This is not one of them.”
hmm, “true hardships and tragic failures”? Perhaps you would have been better off to explain/express that there are different levels/degrees of hardship and failures. But instead, you said ‘this isn’t a true hardship” – which is basically saying to this girl “your hardship is not a hardship”. Hence, you are in fact disparaging or diminishing her experience.
And because someone received or is in the process of receiving a PhD, does not mean they did not struggle. You are absolutely right to say that at least the family in this story was able to receive an education (something that a lot of people unfortunately are not able to obtain for a number of reasons – i.e. death in the family, illness, poverty, etc.) But to reduce this girl’s hardship to simply “taking care of her mother” (your words, not mine) or by saying she only had a few hardships, and to use the fact that she lives in a house and her brother has a phD, to justify or pass judgement on her ‘hardship’ seems rather unfair. You can say her family has done relatively well in comparison to other families who have gone through worse…but that doesn’t mean you can simply belittle her struggles.
Lastly, the way in which you define major failures may not be the same for others, especially in the case of the girl (Abi). That being said, you’re still entitled to say what you want…I would just be cautious in the way you argue your points and to not take someone else’s story to belittle what is being said by that person, especially when it is a personal narrative.
Take care.
It seems like you misunderstood or disregarded what I was trying to say – (maybe or maybe not) If that’s what you feel then you can “call them out on it”…Everyone is entitled to share their opinion :)
I was simply trying to say that you don’t have to be rude and resort to name-calling or be condescending.
Take care.
see those are personal decisions ( having a kid at that age ). You didn’t have to have a kid and could have waited till you were financially in a better situation. She was forced into a tough situation.
Not really, it’s just life. She is an adult, she doesn’t need to stay at home with her mom in so called misery, she could have moved out at age 18 and lived her own life. She has made a choice to hang around. Anyways I heard she has a master in something and has a good job, so I’m not really sure what she is complaining about.
Please consider the fact that she hasn’t written her story herself. It’s a story told to a reporter who has edited it for article length etc and therefore her comment on schmoozing may have been in the context of a question or answer thay is not included here.
That being said, everyone will agree that there are neighborhoods that are severely lacking in essential services; good schools and transit being two of the most crucial ones.
The real story does not seem to be about her immigrant parents who did work hard and do well enough but that she is a Canadian, has a double Masters but now works as a support worker at a social sevices agency (which by anyone will be considered underemployed for her education. The real story is why this is so. Is it because she feels because she is a 2nd gen immigrant, is it because she thinks there are systematic barriers to employment of visible minorities or for young people or that there are not enough well paying jobs in Toronto or whether it is because mental health is so underfunded that she is overwhelmed with taking care of her mother and so has no energy or time left to focus on her career. That’d be how #TorontoIsFailing her. Her immigrant parents story is just a small part of her back story.
Sorry Aparita but this story is completely missing how #TorontoIsFailing and seemingly has nothing to do with the immigrant experience.
Yes but tell that to everyone I graduated with who are still paying off their student loans, 4 years later. It’s not free money.
I love Toronto, don’t get me wrong. I think the hashtag needs to be changed – she doesn’t point out any failures about Toronto actually.
No doubt this article exudes a significant amount of self pity but she has certainly had a rough journey in life thus far. Rise above the racial and social aspects and show her some empathy for being a young person who had to grow up faster than any young person ideally should. I hope she grows to find joy in the memories of her father, finds a way to manage the burden of being a caregiver to her mother, and earns the fruits of the education her family sacrificed so much to give her.
Honestly, I don’t think I was being rude or condescending at all. If my parents fled a war-torn country and were accepted as refugees by Canada and my brother and I were given the opportunity to live in a peaceful country and we lived in a nice house and were able to enjoy the luxury and benefits of not one but two or more university degrees (heavily subsidized by the government) and then I became a participant in a “Toronto is Failing Me” campaign, I would expect to be called a lot worse than a “poor baby” or a “little complainer”. Perhaps, one day, she will acquire the self-awareness to appreciate just how poorly she comes across in this article.
Notice the “if”
The fact is that the tuition students pay is only a fraction of the cost of the degrees. Most of the degree cost is covered through federal and provincial transfers. So, for instance, if you fork out $5,000 for one year’s tuition, count on the government(taxpayers) kicking in about $20,000. A very generous system in Canada, indeed.
“IF”…. lol..discussion ends there
Maybe conmary, what this is suppose to do is cause the reader to be reflective and grateful for the opportunities and circumstances they were given. Making the reader realize that hey maybe not everyone’s life is as great and dandy as mine!!! Maybe its related to minimum wage in this city and how its not enough to live off of or feed your family with. Cost of living in this country increases every year but minimum wage doesnt!!!! Maybe its suppose to make us more critical and analytical?
Some of what you say has merit but not all of it. The perspective your also missing is that we come from communities that are “communal”, not “individualistic” like many other communities in this country. These refugees had to send back money to their families back home and also brought over many of their family members. Sure, not everyone lives frugally but when you spend half your income on rent and don’t have enough money for food. There is an issue in the system. How is it that the cost of living increases every year but min. wage only changes every 5 year? In June min wage rose from $10.25 to $11? Where’s the tax break and incentives for the working poor?
to all the over privileged white people commenting, you have no idea how easy you guys have it. Immigrants are treated like shit in this hell hole of a country and you can never understand what we go through so stfu and enjoy your lives drinking and getting knocked up.
lol.. you’re not really making much of a point here, other then stereotyping white people as “over-privileged” and assuming all they do is drink and get knocked up. Statistically speaking whites make up for a proportionate amount under the poverty line so you should get your facts straight before spewing nonsense..
On another note, if you’re so pissed off about this “hell-hole of a country”, why not go back to yours?
we get stereotyped all the time so when we do it, its nonsense? okay, so be it :)
lol. reread, I’m not white.
Thank you. It was simply the truth.
Seems like I’ve created quite a bit of butthurt. I pointed my fingers at the writer’s ethnicity because Srilankans who came here on refugee status were given welfare,benefits and other necessities in the beginning. The majority of the Srilankan Tamils come from Jaffna, a small village. I understand that civil war is horrible but you were able to bring yourself, your family and are able to get houses and cars, which is a pipe dream for so many people in Asia. Unlike United States immigration policies, where you need to have some minimum education to enter a country, you get into Canada without much qualifications and eventually be a Citizen. You can sponsor your families over and become citizens of this country as opposed to being a labourer in Middle East (Mind you! Many illiterate, low income South Asians have been working in the region for decades, on contract ,without any form of residency or freedom). As a fellow South Asian who has quite a bit of relatives in Middle East working in horrible conditions, it just miffs me to see this insensitive, take it for granted attitude towards Canada. Just saying…
strong first comment, like many of the comments here – first comments, that’s what they are. It seems almost all those standing up for her are brand new accounts.. a little sketch.
Wow, you sound like a real winner. You should leave this “hell hole” asap and go back to whatever utopia you come from, in reality probably some scummy place that people are jumping on boats to escape from. Too many freebies here, though, so I guess we’ll be stuck with you forever.
Don’t beat yourself up about your comment. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. It’s funny that a good portion of the accounts defending this misleading feature are brand new with 1-3 comments, all of which are in this article and almost all of which are defending this girl.
Someone who has two university degrees, a decent job, a position as director for the EQAO and is at many social events, whether they be formals, dinners, parties etc. (yes I have seen this individual at many of these, you will note her facebook profile is now deactivated as her pictures alone would have proven opposite to what is claimed in the article) has in no way been failed by Toronto.
An example of someone that was failed by Toronto was the homeless man that died a few weeks back because of the cold.
Her view of her present situation as a failure and having missed out on the Canadian dream, could very likely be caused by depression (something which she states affected her mother and also a genetically linked disorder), which is another topic in itself. All in all, I think there should have been some better quality control on the material released in Toronto Life..
Maybe she should have thought twice before putting out a public sob story about her ruined life with two university degrees, a house which most likely belongs to her now (in Tamil families females are left with property as males are seen as able to fend for themselves, yes sexist but true). No one is publicly shaming here, he’s just stating it like it comes across.. and this is a public forum for a reason – if he thinks she is a whiny brat, that’s his opinion and one he shaped from reading her portrayal of herself in this feature..
But we don’t all have “great and dandy” lives by any means. We do, however, strive to get on with it without casting ourselves as victims.
There is no compelling reason why Toronto has failed her. While her family’s situation is sad, this is not Toronto’s fault. In fact, living in Toronto has provided the infrastructure for her to get her multiple degrees and for her brother to pursue an advanced graduate degree. I think Toronto has given opportunities to her (and her brother), as well as hundreds of thousands of other immigrants that came in similar conditions (including my parents).
This entire series and hashtag seems like nothing more than botchy journalism in an attempt to pull at some heartstrings, stir up the pot, and hopefully increase some viewership. Consequently, Toronto Life has lost any journalistic respect I had for it.
Well said.
Funny thing is that those who know her will say she is a pretty social individual with many friends and is frequently at formals, parties and events with many different associations (which in no way is a bad thing) but kind of misleading that she makes it seems as though all she does is stay home and take care of her mother.. I would say check her facebook, but it’s been deactivated..
This article and series isn’t about her immigration, race, and health complications, it’s about how the city of Toronto may have failed her. Inserting the dynamics as you described has nothing to do with the city that she lives in. In fact, Toronto provides diversity (for races and incomes), socialized healthcare (for health complications), and is situated in a country that has favourable immigration practices (for your immigration dynamic). Her situation, as sad and non-ideal as it is, seems like from a city-perspective, that Toronto has provided an environment where success is still possible even with her personal (negative) situation.
To Andrea, I think you missed the point of the article and what Keith was saying. This series is about Toronto and what it has done (or didn’t do) to fail its citizens. Her situation, as sad as it may be, doesn’t make compelling argument for Toronto failing her or her family. In fact, this city provided the infrastructure for her to achieve things like her education, her brother’s, and her great jobs.
She has a shitty situation, but that’s not Toronto’s fault. Let’s not forget the focal point of this article, it’s horribly negative hashtag, and this series. It’s about Toronto.
Better written then this whole feature.
I wonder if she deactivated it before or after she rounded up her buddies to defend her on this board ;)
When things starting going south fast on this woman’s story, she rallied the troops.
Please let’s not attempt to connect her “underemployment” to racism. Do you know how many twenty and thiry-somethings of all colors, white included, have masters degrees in history, education, sociology etc. and are working in retail or at Starbucks? Their problem was foolishly choosing to do graduate study in the field of Education where Masters degrees are a dime a dozen and jobs are few. Seriously, who in their right mind would choose to study in this area with little to no prospect of a job upon graduation? Why are people always looking to blame something or someone else for their own dumb choices? Personal responsibility anyone? As far as her being overwhelmed taking care of her mother, perhaps the two of them should look into downsizing and freeing up some money from the house to allow her to hire someone to help. The average house price in Vic Park/Ellesmere is close to $500,000. Others have done it, why can’t they? At any rate, I am amazed that they can keep up the house at all especially with the mother apparently needing constant care. Or perhaps, Toronto hasn’t failed them as much as she wants people to believe.
Please consider the fact that she hasn’t written her story herself. It’s a story told to a reporter who has edited it for article length etc and therefore her comment on schmoozing may have been in the context of a question or answer thay is not included here.
That being said, everyone will agree that there are neighborhoods that are severely lacking in essential services; good schools and transit being two of the most crucial ones.
The real story does not seem to be about her immigrant parents who did work hard and do well enough but that she is a Canadian, has a double Masters but now works as a support worker at a social sevices agency (which by anyone will be considered underemployed for her education. The real story is why this is so. Is it because she feels because she is a 2nd gen immigrant, is it because she thinks there are systematic barriers to employment of visible minorities or for young people or that there are not enough well paying jobs in Toronto or whether it is because mental health is so underfunded that she is overwhelmed with taking care of her mother and so has no energy or time left to focus on her career. That’d be how #TorontoIsFailing her. Her immigrant parents story is just a small part of her back story.
Sorry Aparita but this story is completely missing how #TorontoIsFailing and seemingly has nothing to do with the immigrant experience.
Please consider the fact that she hasn’t written her story herself. It’s a story told to a reporter who has edited it for article length etc and therefore her comment on schmoozing may have been in the context of a question or answer thay is not included here.
That being said, everyone will agree that there are neighborhoods that are severely lacking in essential services; good schools and transit being two of the most crucial ones.
The real story does not seem to be about her immigrant parents who did work hard and do well enough but that she is a Canadian, has a double Masters but now works as a support worker at a social sevices agency (which by anyone will be considered underemployed for her education. The real story is why this is so. Is it because she feels because she is a 2nd gen immigrant, is it because she thinks there are systematic barriers to employment of visible minorities or for young people or that there are not enough well paying jobs in Toronto or whether it is because mental health is so underfunded that she is overwhelmed with taking care of her mother and so has no energy or time left to focus on her career. That’d be how #TorontoIsFailing her. Her immigrant parents story is just a small part of her back story.
Sorry Aparita but this story is completely missing how #TorontoIsFailing and seemingly has nothing to do with the immigrant experience.
Please let’s not attempt to connect her “underemployment” to racism. Do
you know how many twenty and thiry-somethings of all colors, white
included, have Masters degrees in history, education, sociology etc. and
are working in retail or at Starbucks? Their problem was foolishly
choosing to do graduate study in the field of Education where Masters
degrees are a dime a dozen and jobs are few. Seriously, who in their
right mind would choose to study in this area with little to no prospect
of a job upon graduation? Why are people always looking to blame
something or someone else for their own dumb choices? Personal
responsibility anyone? As far as her being overwhelmed taking care of
her mother, perhaps the two of them should look into downsizing and
freeing up some money from the house to allow her to hire someone to
help. The average house price in Vic Park/Ellesmere is close to
$500,000. Others have done it, why can’t they? At any rate, I am amazed
that they can keep up the house at all especially with the mother
apparently needing constant care. Or perhaps, Toronto hasn’t failed them
as much as she wants people to believe.
You know what? This story is HER STORY. None of you have any idea or any right to bash her or even belittle her struggles. STRUGGLE IS STRUGGLE. YES if she feels Toronto failed her, she has the right to think that because only she sees how it is in her shoes. The girl can have a thousand degrees, but what good does that do when you can’t find a the prefect career for you? What if you don’t even have a peace of mind to start with?
I read a funny comment saying maybe she is the problem, maybe she needs to find out how to use her money well. Well sir, do you see a luxury cars or a mansion in this picture? And besides, if money is tight. Money is tight. You don’t know what happens i that house. What’s a life if you aren’t living?
Give the girl some courage of opening here, it’s because of nasty people who hide behind screens no one honors anything real no more. And this story is 10000% true to someone else, you don’t know. Immigrant or not, things get hard. And if she thinks Toronto failed her, so let it be. Only she knows. So if you don’t have anything nice to say, just shut up. You lose nothing by showing some emotion of sympathy.
Abirami Jeyaratnam, I am with you.
Education isn’t a choice when you need work x amount of hours to make sure your wife and kids aren’t starving or to keep that roof under their head.
saying someone has it worse than you can also mean you shouldn’t be happy because someone has it better. see how your reasoning sounds?
but what’s so wrong of being honest about our lives, even for once by this girl?
I don’t think we need to judge the author. What she presents is a problem. The lack of TTC stops in the heavily densified area of Scarborough is a real problem the city has to concern itself with. The increasing population of immigrants and the lack of vocational training, subsidized housing and other supports to ease integration is a real issue. I grew up in Hamilton in the 80s. I am from a immigrant family and so were most of my friends parents (Italian, Tamil, Pakistani, Lebonese etc). Everyone worked hard. But life was a little more affordable. My family and most others could afford to but a house and get a mortgage. Regardless of shift work and long hours, there were still perks. Street BBQs, park carnivals, weekend baseball games, all walking distance. We had a community. It was easier to feel connected and eased the burn of not living with family in the city you left behind. I’m not sure Toronto presents the same opportunities to anyone today. Its not an affordable city, not sure if urban sprawl has allowed for enough community centers, gathering area and parks. Let’s talk about what we can do here instead of judging the author who was brave enough to speak out about her experiences.
Unfortunately you seem burdened by this problem yourself and can’t seem to think of solutions. And getting a PhD is not exactly a plan, but a good step.
The PhD is the attaining of what to some might be a goal which most implement a plan in order to achieve. And then from the attainment of that goal one may move onto another as part of an overall PLAN, and, I’m not the one who made the claim that Toronto has failed anyone, and so, have no reason to come up with any solutions.
Do you live in Toronto? If so, do you think its the perfect city? If so, great! Tell ppl what you think then. Tell them how the city serves you well. If you do not think it’s perfect, then speak out about it. I think the ‘plan’ to improve the city is one that needs to be discussed by all Torontonians. But primarily elected officials and municipal workers should step forward. But they only can and will if they recognize the problem. And a problem of only brought to light of people speak out about it. Let’s not be negative about public discourse.
I am not being negative about it. My original point was that the article was not convincing of Toronto having failed anyone. I have no idea what the plan is, or if there is even an overall plan to improve the city. The article certainly didn’t mention one. What the article did was suggest that Toronto had somehow failed these people when, in fact, Canada as a whole came to their rescue by allowing them to immigrate during a civil war in their country of origin. Can more be done? Probably, but by presenting these stories under the hashtag of #TorontoisFailingMe the author or authors are being misleading, and ultimately negative.
Shout outs fams keep ur head up we going thru the same struggle day and night put everything in for ur parents and ur dreams will soon turn into reality its a struggle out here but we tryna get this education 100
That’s a fair point. The story is a narrative and it does a good job to tell us the overall hardships they faced in life, but little to highlight how the city itself failed them. She does point out lack of public transport options in a densely populated center, and indirectly points to poor wages to offset cost of living in the city(i.e. her dad worked several jobs). Perhaps future authors can do more to point out how the city itself failed to provide supports.
No, you just have no leg to stand on so you resorted to ad hominem attacks.
I do believe there is room for improvement and I think these people’s stories should be told, just lose the hashtag, I think it does more harm than good. Thanks for talking.
No, you’re right. Toronto isn’t failing her. But Toronto makes it hard for the first generation – i.e. her parents. Not everyone is built the same and that’s why we need better programs (which do exist but it needs to be improved) to make it easier for newcomers – For most its a huge transition and it can be so overwhelming especially with language barrier, finance, culture and what not.
In reading these comments and article. I agree with commary. I believe by attaching this article along with #hashtorontoisfailingnm is incorrect. What I have taken out of this article is quite the opposite. Her family was a poor her father worked hard and they were actually able to buy a small house. In addition, her brother was able to obtain not just a simple bachelor degree but PHD. In regards to her self she is a social worker thee fore, obtained some post secondary education and is working at a agency in Toronto which is trying to aid in helping youths in her pervious postion to strive. In looking at this I am not saying toronto is perfect but definitely has given her opportunities.
Unfortunately for newcomers it is very difficult. Her father isn’t educated but many many newcomers are highly educated and still can’t seem to find jobs so they are left with the low end jobs despite being educated. The world is becoming more globalized it is time Canada starts recognizing education from other countries besides their own. They don’t even get the opportunity to study here either because they have families to feed. Before talking shit people need to realize these facts. Life is tough for immigrants and that’s a fact!
“I feel like I’ve been cut off from the Canadian dream—I can’t travel or schmooze downtown or worry about my LinkedIn profile.”
Seriously? Toronto has failed her because she can’t travel or shmooze downtown? It sounds like she and her parents were proud of what they achieved in Toronto and now that her family is dealing with health issues she is having a pity party because she wants to take vacays and hit the clubs downtown. Maybe it’s her choice of words but it doesn’t seem that Toronto has failed her, it’s her parent’s health that has cramped her lifestyle.
Did anyone reach out to her and provide information on the multiple assistance programs we have in Ontario for relief of caregivers ? She’s young, wants a life… Understandable but I think Toronto or the Canadian dream is wrapped up in her story. Immigrants working hard, able to BUY property, have children who are now more educated and better able to provide for themselves. She just needs a perspective redirection. Someone tell that brother and sister -in-law to pitch in
Freakin hilarious how some pple seem to think that they are entitled to everything in someone else’s Country without working hard for it! Get real. FranK Stronach moved to Canada as an adult with $40 in his pocket and worked hard to become the wealthy, successful man that he is. You want the Canadian dream, work and go get it cause nobody owes u anything if the place u left did not give it to u!!
I think she does need to stay home with her sickly mother and take care of her instead of leaving her to die in her death bed … it’s called being a good child and a good human. She has made a very “difficult” choice to stick around as any good child would do. She does have a masters and a good job but it isn’t enough to financially support her family.
Education is not an option for everyone. Some of us are fortunate to have the opportunity for education. Toronto fails working class citizens. A lot of social services programs are getting cut. These programs are helpful for a lot of working class citizens.
but, its still a choice, nobody is forcing her, she could go downtown and party her ass off if she wanted to. and I doubt she paid for her school on her own, she probably feels obligated to help her mom because she is so deep in debt to her. Sometimes people cannot afford to live in their own house, that’s why so many people live in rentals. i know people that have had to sell their houses and downgrade their lifestyle because of job loss and stuff, they even need to move away from Toronto, its expensive to live in the city. All i see here is wine wine wine and entitlement, move to Milton and live an easier life. such babies… i have no respect for whiners.
This story is not unique to immigrants. They may own the story more than most but it is not solely theirs. Her parents were good parents and tried their best. Sounds like her Mother suffered from Mental Illness. I think mine did as well. This in itself can destroy families. More help is needed for them regardless of where they hail from. What I see is a shame is the fact that is this woman feels the need to give up her life to serve her Mother. She should live out her parent’s dream and use the resources available to Canadians in order to survive. Get out and live your life please as a healthy and happy person. . Personally, and I know i will come across as cold I think this woman should get her Mother into some type of proper care facility and apply for available financial resources to help pay for this so she can move forward with her own life. All choices are hard ones but there are the correct ones she can make. I am not saying she should abandon her Mother. I am saying place her Mom in a residence with people who can care for her properly. Apply for CPP disabled benefits or for whatever she can qualify for. Obtain a Social Worker employed to assist people in need to help with the paper work and proper placement so she can fulfill her parent’s dream of a good life in Canada. This may take a few years as there are waiting lists for everything these days but eventually she will succeed. Her parent’s would want this for her if they could truly speak for themselves. Once placed see her Mom every few days but make the rest of her life about her wants, needs and goals and not her Mother’s. I do not agree she should view herself as her mother’s pension plan. Just my two cents worth. I would never want my children to give up their futre for me. It is my job to make sure I have my own future looked after. They are busy enough surviving. All I want from them is their love and time spent with me when they are available.
The OSAP loans are maximized at 10,000 per year of which over 6000 is loans. So if your telling me as a student you get free money thats totally wrong. The government does provide grants and I’m totally thankful for that but they don’t fund my whole tuition or even 50%. At most they cover 25% in grants the rest 75% is still loans that I still have to pay back with interest after I graduate so I still dont know where the government is providing us with A LOT of money to study is coming from
Thats sadly the life of most immigrant children, myself being one, its been a turmoil for all of us kids growing up in toronto. Its so hard to see famiy of friends going on vacations , having a “good financial life”. For my family, it seems no matter what we do, Toronto has always been disappointing at every turn, hard to live a life with road blocks every moment and really no way out. Kinda like paddling a boat with your hands and to top it off a leak sprouts every few hours…where does it end?
Toronto is hands down the shittiest city. It has zero character, zero energy, and zero excitement. There is no life but to become an employee and work for someone. I am born and raised in toronto. I realized how bad it is after I moved to Manhattan NYC.
great story carley. completely agree – i don’t understand how toronto failed this woman and her family. canada is one of the rare countries where new immigrants can significantly improve their life within a very short time. my mom came to canada in the early 80s, worked two jobs and then brought the rest of the family over. we were poor, lived in a basement apartment shared with every ‘auntie’ we could find to split the rent. everyone pitched in, no one complained about not having things or working multiple jobs. my sister and i both went to university, got a student loan and have paid it off. we now own multiple properties in the city, have no debt and take our families on multiple vacations a year. canada is a great country for new immigrants. look around the world, there aren’t a lot of places where economic mobility is as attainable in an environment where human rights, freedom of speech, accessible health care, and respect for other cultures is the norm.
Conmary. All I have to say is that your a b****.
Your very rude, you have no manners what so ever and no conmary, you have no point, so please just stop your self there and please realize that people like you aren’t appreciated in this world.
Conmary, this young woman has 2 degrees because she worked for it. Her mother and father supported her from day one. You need to realize that cause I”m sure your parents didn’t do s*** to you. Secondly, just cause she has 2 degrees now doesn’t mean that her live was good from day one. She came this Toronto and suffered a lot. Toronto didn’t support them. They had to support their selves. Just because Canada let them in doesn’t mean their life is good forever. Now there in this new country and need to support their selves. Toronto doesn’t care about them. They just have another tax payer.
So yes Conmary your a B**** that needs to learn manners cause apparently your parents failed to do that and many more things. They were probably busy doing others things cause they don’t know what life is like as an immigrant.
So if u can please kindly F*** off all of us people will greatly appreciate it.
god bless
He probably didn’t finish his education because his fled Sri Lanka during the civil war. Many people didn’t finish school in Sri Lanka because of it. Imagine having to worry about bombs in your neighbourhood while you’re studying. That kind of stuff happened in Sri Lanka back then.
I didn’t know there was a competition over who has had the worser life.
You said that “….who are far worse off than this little complainer.” So I guess her losing her dad was no big deal right? Or the fact her mom has had those seizures? Right. You’re a troll.
do you not know what the issue is? not being able to travel or spend time doing what other normal people in canada do, not the fact that she received a loan which i’m 100% sure she did along with like 90% of students to get those degrees in an attempt to get a career. She is obviously in debt if you are not aware of how students are getting degrees for the sake of having one since it’s the “norm” now and she has to care for her mother while trying to pay her debt off, effectively making her life a constant worry about money. This is not an issue tht she is only experiencing it’s what most candian students are facing at the moment.
I think the point is getting lost here. Even the success stories tell of the conditions that some of the immigrants have had to overcome once they got to Canada. The fact is that minimum wage does not cover minimum needs. I am very proud that there are success stories but that doesn’t mean that toronto didn’t fail those people too. The fact is that immigrants are coming to the country hoping for a better life and what they find is a cost of living that requires families to live in very poor conditions working 2 and often 3 jobs just to cover the most basic of expenses. Just because it can be done that way does not mean it is the correct way to do things. You all are squabbling over the question of, does this woman have a right to complain and the simple fact is, that she does. Just because a city gives you a place where you can scrape by does not mean that it is not failing it’s people. It means that it’s people should that have to scrape by for working 19hrs a day. Improving the quality of life for a province’s population has positive effects across the board for all socio-economic groups. The key was mentioned earlier in the comment string. Education prevents many immigrants from receiving decent paying jobs. Purhaps a system should be setup to ensure that immigrants receive a proper education so that they can contribute more than the bare minimum the province it willing to have them do. An educated society goes a lot further than an uneducated one. Additionally the author appears to be giving back to the province by helping those in need. Some of the comments on here have questioned her right to complain because She was able to get an education. Some have made the comment that her father was at fault for not getting more education. I can’t begin to imagine what sort of an education he could have gotten while working 3 jobs. No matter even if he had one job making an appropriate minimum wage he should have been able to find the time to go back to school. The system IS failing though. Can it be overcome? Sure if you are willing to work harder than everyone else who has had the opportunity to be born in Canada.
The author was born in Montreal and has managed to do pretty well for herself though the struggles she has endured are not limited to immigrants it is much more common amongst them. These people are not asking for pitty, they are asking for ideas and support for those ideas that help make toronto a better place for everyone to live in. Thank you Abi for sharing your story. I hope some positive change comes from sharing your perspective.
All the more reason that they should be grateful for the life they’ve had in Canada.
Surely you realize that the average $5,000-$6,000 yearly tuition fee for an Arts/Science degree at a top Canadian University does not cover the cost of your education. The average public university in the U.S has an annual fee of over $20,000; an elite university in the States will set you back $40,000-50,000 per year in tuition alone. Who do you think helps to cover the amount above and beyond the comparatively small amount of $5000 per annum tuition we pay in Canada? So yes, indeed, the taxpayers are helping university students out with their post-secondary education above and beyond what is handed out in OSAP and grants.
You sound like an insufferable whiner yourself, and a stalker, if I may add, since you clearly hunted her down on linked in. I may not agree with some of her opinions, but I certainly won’t make personal attacks and call her names. Her life experiences are hers alone and you have no right to belittle them. The series of events in her life had led her to believe Toronto hasn’t provided her and her family the life they had hoped for when they came here. I do not know the author of this article but I created a new account just so I can kindly suggest to you that after your 55 posts under this article, it’s time for you to retire, and perhaps get a second degree yourself – sounds like you could use one.
Laughable that you think I sound like the whiner. You must be one of those people who can’t bear to hear the truth. She brought up the linkedin reference and I sure didn’t hunt her down. She said she lived at Vic Park and Ellesmere and houses there average $500,000.I can post as many times on an article as I want particularly when bellyaching victims such as yourself need a reality check. You’re so stuck in your own little world of “poor me” that you can’t accept the truth of the situation and, in particular, her situation as chronicled in this pathetic excuse of a magazine article. She comes across very poorly to anyone reading this piece objectively. As for the degrees, I already have more than two plus a doctorate in a profession (and they’re not in useless, lightweight courses from York U).
There you go again with the personal attacks – attacking her degree which I’m sure you found out about while stalking her linked in profile. I hope using the author as a punching bag has successfully made you feel better about yourself. She made a linked in reference but wasn’t inviting you to go hunt her profile down, which you clearly did because for some reason you’re obsessive over this article. For someone who claims to have multiple degrees, your reading comprehension is quite poor. I said I don’t agree with her and I said nothing to tell you that I see myself as a victim, I am merely commenting on how you’ve chosen to participate in this discourse. But of course, no matter what I’ve written, your shallow mind tells you that anyone who doesn’t bash and belittle her like you are must also be an immigrant “bellyaching victim”. I hope you get some sleep tonight – you sound really angry and you’re taking this article a little too personally. Oh and congrats on your more than 2 degrees and a doctorate that you didn’t get from York U!!
Just like you did with this entire article.
Hey guys. Toronto doesn’t fail. It’s the people. We judge everyone cuz we can’t accept the facts. Just because we didn’t experience it yet, it’s doesn’t mean it’s not real. The girl was weak when she came but now she is strong and we should respect that. Everyone has a story to tell, even you!
I am honestly insulted by many of these stories and particularly hers. Her brother is getting a PhD and she has a masters. I don’t know where she gets off trying to say Toronto failed her. It is hard for many people living in Toronto, downtown or in the inner suburbs, because it is a very expensive city. Many people from downtown don’t get the opportunity to go to university because of family illnesses or because they can’t finance it for whatever reason. Many people have to work more than one job because minimum wage cannot cover the cost of living here. Many people suffer from depression for a variety of reasons other than having to leave their home country for more opportunities. And there ARE more opportunities here than in Sri Lanka, without war! Toronto is hard for anyone below a certain income bracket, many of whom may have a bachelors, as that no longer guarantees a job that pays more than $40k, which is what you need to be making to live comfortably in Toronto where the average 1 bed in downtown Toronto is $1300 a month. It’s not ok for Torontonians to be spending on average 50% of their monthly income on rent and minimum wage is completely out of proportion to the cost of living, compounded with the most expensive public transit system in the world. What neighbourhood you’re from is irrelevant as is whether you are an immigrant as many immigrants go on to be successful in Toronto. I struggle to live in Toronto despite having a bachelors degree, despite having been born and raised in a good neighbourhood in an upper middle class family because my step mom decided I couldn’t continue to live with my family when I was 18 and allows minimal contact. I’ve had severe depression multiple times and spent the better part of the last 4 years unemployed but I would never tell my story under the title of #TorontoisFailingMe. I do not disagree that things need to change but they do not only need to change in the inner suburbs. That being said the title/hashtag associated with this series is horribly negative and a very poor way to start a discourse on problems in Toronto. Furthermore, this series focusing specifically on the inner suburbs is very misguided.
Agree w/ FweakofCydonia !!!! Conmary don’t take much to prove you’re a dumbass!
Btw your math is WAYYYYYYYYYYYY off as far as how much it costs to go to school in here in the States … Depending on what you are going for some Trade schools can run up to 15 grand per semester, Community College’s 12-15 grand per semester (instate student) 20-25 grand (out of state student) … University’s 25-30 grand(ISS) per semester 30-35 grand (OOSS) per semester ….. Ivy League College 45-55 grand (ISS) per semester 60-70 grand (OOSS) per semester …..
The average is 4 semesters per school year then if you go for Summer session it’s 5 .. that’s why when we graduate at College at say 21-22 our credit is for shit cuz we, depending where we went to school, our student loans can total upwards of 250G and that’s not including Grad school … and yes depending if we are eligible we can get Grants, like Pell, ATT, Presidents and all them others, but if your parents are still married, both working and make over 50g combined (middle income) you don’t get shit from the Gov’t but loans, loans loans and more F*in LOANS that you spend 20+ years paying back maybe 25 if you go to Grad school….
What I did, when I was in HS is attend a BOCES Program or Trade School Program that was paid for by my HS …. I started in January of my 10 grade yr of HS and con’t until I graduated HS. I attended the LPN program, I sat for my Nursing Boards the first week of May of 1984 and I graduated HS & the LPN program in June of 1984. I received my LPN Nursing License the EXACT same day I graduated from HS & Nursing School. I was 16 at the time, I applied for one job the following week, got it, went to work at one of the biggest hospitals in NYC and stayed there for almost 6yrs. Then I moved, bu I’ve been a nurse for 31yrs.
I think if more HS would have programs like this, there would be less unemployment, less kids on the street doing nothing, kids would have more ambition to do something with their lives.. plus the hospital paid for me to get my RNBSN a few years later …. it gave me the incentive to do something with my life early by attending a trade school while still in HS. And by the time I was 22I was expecting my fist child, I owned my own home, car, was paying my own bills … Why things have changed SO much between my generation and this generation??
I have two daughters that I raised on my own. They are 3 yrs and 3 days apart. Thank God they are both not only beautiful, but smart too!! They both rec’d academic scholarships for College, they also rec’d money and scholarships from the beauty contests they had won. Plus, when I had found out I was pregnant with each of them, I started to put away $1.00/day, so when it was time for their graduation from HS they had a good chunk put away ….
I just never will and maybe I’m not meant to understand why more parents don’t think or act the way I do… I mean it’s a friggin’ $1.00!! Put it in a Goddamn coffee can with a lid and DON’T touch it!! It’s for YOUR kid Goddamn future for fucks sake!!!! I was a single mom raising 2 kids, by myself and granted it was not easy, trust me on that, and if I can do it ANYONE can!! There were times I had to work 2 jobs, sometimes 3 to get the things that they needed or wanted, but it was worth it to see the looks on their little faces. Now my kids are grown, they are 23 & 25 now. They have both graduated college, one form Boston University, the other from UK, my eldest followed in my footsteps and is RNBSN and the other is a Leasing/Real Estate Agent and is also in PR and works for the Colts and they both know that if they ever if they need anything I will always be there to help them.
I don’t want my children to ever to have to worry about lights or water being turned off, or not having enough food. I don’t want them to have to work as hard as I did. I want them to enjoy life, travel, see as much as this life has to offer them … and the one thing I never stopped doing …. putting a $1.00/day away for each of them since their accounts were depleted … my eldest when she was 21 and moved to Boston and my youngest when she was 20 and bought her first car. I suppose these funds will grow quite large and be added to their inheritance, and I’m sure I’ll have to start others, as the family grows, but that’s okay. My mom did it for me, I did it for my girls and I’m sure they will do it for their children…. after all no-one ever looks out for or take as good care of one’s children as their momma does …
wow–she is really pretty.
What does her color or nationality have to do with ANYTHING!? Boo-freakin-hoo!! this girl is 2 yrs older than my oldest daughter and she’s whining that an inner City has failed her?! Seriously?! Why doesn’t she take a look at the inner Cities of New York, Chicago, Detroit, just to name a few. 99% of the people that have been born there have been struggling there all of their lives, and now, it’s mostly the old-timers, and old families that live there because the young one have gotten smart, stayed in school or just got the hell out and started someplace new to may their own way in life … So what’s stopping her from doing the same??
She is a 27 year old, able bodied woman, who is by no means an idiot, so why is she still there?? If something is not working in your life, you fix it right? You don’t sit around and play the blame game and I know this sounds harsh, and I understand that she lost her dad, but she has other family, she needs to be strong for them and get her ass in gear and quit being a whinny baby!!!
Wishing you strength, and fortitude of your parents to continue on in this remarkable journey as refugees, and forming a new identity. I wish you have same success of your brother and more in life.
It seems to be fashionable, sadly, to talk down to Indian women, online.
Hello, Do you need a loan from The most trusted and reliable company
in the world? if yes then contact us now for we offer loan to all
categories of seekers be it companies or for staff usage. We offer
loan at 3% interest rate, Contact us via email:
[email protected] apply now with the information below.
(1) Full Name
(2) Full Address
(3) Country
(4) Age
(5) Occupation
(6) Tell phone number
(7) Sex:
(8) Loan Amount needed:
(9) Loan Duration
Email us at: [email protected]
Immigrants come to Canada, a country they had no part in building, and complain that it’s not good enough for them.
I think giving your tiny paycheck from sports check is not going to do much good for your parents. That should be your fun money while you are in high school. When you start making 70,000, $80,000 etc., can you only think of helping family or investing.
Get a husband that makes a real paycheck. What you earn is not the problem. You need to open yourself to accepting a man in your life who isn’t a child making under $50,000 a year. Spice girls even mentions “I need a man, not a boy who thinks he cares”
Why didn’t her father get a job that paid $60-80k per year? Or maybe he did. But be happy renting. He would not be rich but he could have had time to be at home and your tiny paycheck as a teenager could have been all yours. You know even with high school anyone who isn’t disabled can make this if they wanted to. But interest on a million dollar mortgage is $30k and up per year. Trying to buy a house in Toronto is what killed your father, not putting food on the table. By the way I’m not condemning him. All homes are super expensive just like Vancouver so even if he made a good salary your screwed. Or is her story actually more typical?
Degree? You don’t need it if you are ok with just $60 to $80k per year in Canada. This is gross household income in Canada. You can even make this alone if you wanted to on minimum wage with all that OT
If you worked 15 hours a day, 7 days a week you gotta be making over $100k a year. Even on shitty jobs you’d make that because even a Newfie going to Fort Mac with only grade 12 gets that with no skills no education, just because of the rediculous hours. And while some may say Fort Mac might pay higher, they also take a week or two weeks off every two weeks. Her father did not. That is swatshop hours. The problem is that hones are over a million dollars just like Vancouver in Toronto and interest payment on a million is 30k just in interest alone!
Oh okay! You are so smart! Forget the outliers. .I mean there are no such thing. How in the world did you just figure everything out. Shiet, you should be a life coach, career advisor. Oh but wait a minute…. how do u figure someone to earn 60k with language barrier. Oh but wait another minute. .I wonder what minimum wage is. Get outta here. Rather than accusing someone of not getting their shit together why don’t u learn to stop being ignorant.
It doesn’t matter. If he had enough language skills to work as a security guard he would be able to make $60-$80k with such ridiculous hours even for low hourly pay. That is 210 hours per day. Even at $10.25 an hour minimum wage it would be $81000. 820regular. 1230 time and a half. 1050 double time. Im using BC minimum rate, and that is not including stat and vacation assuming sick days or family emergencies will offset that extra. Assume that none is OT, it will still be $55,965 with no vacation or stat. Put that in you will make 60k. I calculated that. 210 hours x 26 biweekly pay 10.25 I did one with legal OT and one all straight. In reality it might be somewhere between $60 to $80k. I did not dream this number up. I did the math. If u made 20 an hour, well you’d make a six figures with those hours. So yes in Canada anyone can make 60 to 80k a year working for Starbucks, Walmart and McDonald’s if they so chose doing of course 210 hours biweekly. In reality even those jobs give meager increase in pay and before the year is out $60k is pretty much guaranteed, although I doubt such is not a desired lifestyle for anyone, I am only arguing mathematically it can be done. I will assume proper labour laws are followed with regards to paying minimum wage. Most big chains like these do pay holidays, stat, etc, where applicable. You don’t even need to be Canadian to work at Timmys as you all know nor an immigrant.
I feel working class making 80k a year in Vancouver. The only thing is I don’t work 210 hours biweekly as I need time for leisure. I just chose not to mortgage a million dollar home to pay $30,000 in interest payments. Comparing Toronto and Vancouver is a fair comparison so comparing her father to me is fair.
Agreed. Anyone can make 60 to 80k doing 15 hours a day 7 days a week but that is NOT life. That is sweatshop hours to reach middle class income working class. Even then your broke because homes are all over a million in Toronto and Vancouver. Sadly her father had to put in those hours for home ownership
I know one fellow who
Saved up $300,000 in 7 years for his future children. The funny thing is he hadn’t found a girlfriend yet.
Even at minimum wage 15 hours 7 days a week will get you $60 to $80,000 a year. I will help you understand this mathematically. I will have to assume the author was not exaggerating her fathers claim to these hours. If so, bets are off. Ontario is her province where minimum wage is $11 an hour. Let’s say given the worst case scenario where no overtime is paid because the 15 hours was accumulated with multiple employers. $11x15hrsx365 is $60,255. That does not include vacation nor stat. If overtime was done with one employer it is
108,000 but we know that is hypothetical so it is somewhere in between.
At the expense of quality of life. People should slave their way to make a decent living. Okay.