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The Toronto Lexicon, entry no. 6

By Philip Preville
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Snow (sno:) 1. Frozen precipitation in the form of white or translucent hexagonal ice crystals presenting as soft white flakes. 2. A form of precipitation witnessed every year in Toronto, to great astonishment. 3. Precipitation that Torontonians pretend isn’t happening. 4. Potential cause for the implementation of martial law. (See also Cold.)

Cold (ko:ld) 1. Low external temperatures that freeze snow in place and turn melting snow to ice, common to northern climates such as that found in Toronto. 2. The thing that makes people feel stupid for not having shovelled their sidewalk. 3. Potential cause for the implementation of martial law. (See also Snow.)

Winter (wInt_r) A season that heralds a change in women’s footwear. (See also Heels.)

The Toronto Lexicon is an ongoing project by this blog to provide precise and accurate definitions of terms as they are used in local parlance. Tune in for regular additions, or view the entire Lexicon.

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