The sports media is totally over-reporting the suggestion that Miami Heat players cried after a loss

One of the greatest scenes in any sports movie ever comes from A League of Their Own: Tom Hanks, playing a drunk, depraved manager of a team in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL), circa 1943—berates one his charges, Evelyn, for making a decisive error during the game. She promptly starts to cry. At that moment, an incredulous Hanks turns on his heel and delivers an absolute gem: “Are you crying? There’s no crying. There’s no crying in baseball!”

Well, apparently there’s no crying in basketball, either. After Miami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra intimated to the assembled media that some of his players may or may not have shed a few tears in the wake of a one-point loss to the Chicago Bulls on Sunday, the media completely lost its mind. South of the border, radio and television networks gossiped relentlessly, and the speculation machine went into overdrive. Spoelstra didn’t mention who cried, just that some did. And the chattering classes simply couldn’t control themselves. The phrase “crying shame” has never been to put to so much use.

Today, for some reason, the Toronto dailies decided to get in on the act, too. We suspect they didn’t want to feel left out, with all the unsubstantiated reporting going around. The Sun ran a Reuters story on weeping Miami, and the Star published not one, but two articles (including a column) on crying in sports. In a word: really?

If it wasn’t for the wonderful excuse to watch old YouTube clips of A League of Their Own that Crygate has created, this story would be entirely useless (we suggest watching old clips of A League of Their Own on YouTube, by the way). There have been reports on why men cry, how they cry and on the protocol surrounding when a good man-cry is acceptable. Spoelstra even clarified his earlier remarks, noting that his charges didn’t actually cry but just had “glossy eyes.” It’s enough to make a grown man shed a few tears.

Anyway, we’re going to get back to our movie. The part where Geena Davis leaves the team is coming up. That part always leaves us weepy.

• Heat weep after crunch-time failure [Toronto Sun]
• Crying is OK, but admitting it is apparently not [Toronto Star]
• Kelly: (Don’t) Cry me a river, Miami Heat [Toronto Star]