Sign of the Apocalypse #6: a slight rounding error delays body count

The gang’s all here, which means one of two things: we are all horrible, horrible people who were deemed unworthy of Rapture, or—and this is more likely, we hope—Christian radio host Harold Camping lied about being a prophet on his résumé. According to reports from the Toronto Star, he not only miscalculated this past Saturday’s doomsday, but he has already suggested a new date for people to go bananas on Twitter, and then, well, not die. When proven wrong, Camping says he felt defeated, and quickly shacked up in a nearby motel with his wife. When a freethinking Nostradamus-like beacon of truth can’t afford to jet off to Punta Cana to protect his wife, it’s a sure-enough sign that his new end-of-days prophecy—slated for October 21—will come to pass.