Prime-Minister-in-Waiting Rob Ford’s Busy, Busy Weekend

You’d think that, after a humiliating council meeting on  Friday, Rob Ford might take a few days to nurse his wounds before today’s city hall showdown. Quite the opposite. The mayor instead spent the weekend toured the city, variously appalling reporters, cursing in front of children and committing minor parking infractions. Here, the highlight from the mayor’s frenetic days off.

Rob Ford says he wants to run for prime minister of Canada
In an media blitz through some big American news stations, Rob reveals that his political aspirations aim way higher than merely mayor of Toronto. “Yes, one day I do want to run for Prime Minister,” Ford told Fox News. “I don’t believe Mr. Trudeau’s gonna be the next [prime minister], I believe Mr. Harper’s gonna get re-elected…You look at their record and put it to Mr. Trudeau’s record, it’s like night and day. Illegal drugs are illegal drugs. I’ve admitted to using illegal drugs in the last year. Okay.”

Rob Ford is suddenly re-cast as a liberal and labelled “the white Obama.”
This revelation came by way of the mayor’s brother, Doug Ford, who went on CNN’s AC360 to discuss the recent scandal. “Everyone keeps saying Rob’s a conservative,” Doug explained to the American news channel. “He’s a huge, massive social liberal. He loves Obama. The headlines of the papers when he won? ‘The White Obama.'” There’s no evidence that such a headline exists—as many, many, many  prominent commentators attest. Doug was probably thinking of this 2010 article from the National Post in which Rob is referred to as “the Barack Obama of Toronto.” It was published months before the election—not after, as Doug claimed—and says that the two politicians are alike in that they tapped into national frustration with the status quo, not because their policies are alike.

Rob Ford swears in front of children a toy drive
Talking to CNN reporter Bill Weir, who came up to Toronto at the Fords’ invitation, Rob says that he’s “sick and tired of all the allegations and all this bullshit.” This is at toy collection drive in Etobicoke, with plenty of children in attendance. “Sorry, kids. I shouldn’t have sworn in front of the kids,” Rob says, apologizing for what seems like the millionth time. “But after a while, I know what I’m doing is right. I’m serving people. I’m saving taxpayers money. And you know what, I made mistakes, I drank too much, I smoked some crack sometime. What can I say? I made a mistake, I’m human.”

Rob Ford parks illegally on Ontario Street
Arriving at Sun News to tape his new show, Ford Nation, Ford’s driver parks his SUV in a no-parking zone. His vehicle sat there for three hours and did not get a ticket.

Rob Ford crashes an Argo’s game—even though he was asked to stay away
The mayor steered clear of the Santa Claus Parade after organizers made it very, very clear that they’d prefer a Ford-free procession. However, he ignored CFL commissioner Mark Cohon’s suggestion to let the Argos play in peace. Donning his fave jersey, Ford headed to the game, where he shook hands, took photos—and studiously ignored a lot of booing.

Rob Ford gives all his remaining staffers $5,000 raises
The Toronto Sun reports that Ford gave everyone still working in his office a $5,000 raise on Friday—a notable departure from his usual belt-tightening mantras. Then again, as Doug Ford once said, ”You can’t teach loyalty.”