It’s Rob Ford’s birthday: 10 gifts for the man who has everything (and by everything, we mean a crack scandal)
Rob Ford probably didn’t want to spend his 44th birthday dodging the media, walking past vacant desks where trusted advisors once sat and contemplating that more than 8,000 people donated over $2o0,000 for the chance to see a video that (allegedly) shows him smoking crack. To mark the occasion, we picked 10 gifts we think Ford would like this year. Happy Birthday, Rob!
10. A new football coaching gig—preferably one with an equally cool varsity jacket.
9. Solid evidence of Adam Vaughan doing something illegal. With Karen Stintz. And probably Olivia Chow, too.
8. More staffers over the age of 30.
7. For the Toronto Star’s servers to all simultaneously crash.
6. And Gawker’s.
5. Really, he needs the trash icon for the entire Internet.
4. A return to the good old days, when his biggest problem was a judge ordering him out of office.
3. A big bag of crack. (Even if he didn’t do it before, he’d probably like to now.)
2. The original, plus all other existing copies, of that pesky video that he insists doesn’t exist.
1. For everyone to leave him alone for just one day.
8 thoughts on “It’s Rob Ford’s birthday: 10 gifts for the man who has everything (and by everything, we mean a crack scandal)”
With the new allegations of murder and attempted murder, this story has taken a sick macabre turn. It’s no longer the funny joke of a bad Mayor. What may lie underneath could rock this city.
This bull shit has to stop.Toronto star sucks and all my friends are never buying another paper from them for life.Shame on you Toronto Star………dirty pool …stop bugging the fords. ..I lived in Toronto and your paper always writes stuff thats un true.
wait: an illegal three-way between Vaughn, Stintz, and Chow?
bet that indiegogo campaign sells faster than Ford’s…
“stop bugging the fords. ..I lived in Toronto and your paper always writes stuff thats un true.”
Hahaha… I’m giggling here… It’s not just the Star that has dirt on your beloved Fords Ms. Howe.
The Fords’ lies are collapsing around them every day meaning that they are now well on their way to getting the comeuppance that they so justly deserve.
I’m sorry that you feel any kind of pity for such truly despicable and ignorant human beings.
It’s a shame people don’t donate to a better cause that can actually benefit people of the world, let alone the city of Toronto. :S
I beg to differ. I believe the cause does actually benefit Toronto and the world. It let’s people know that karma for ignorance and arrogance exists. The donations only let the world know that people do not like Rob Ford and are willing to pay money to see him go down.
Give him one of these! https://www.etsy.com/listing/152301415/sale-rob-ford-crack-is-whack-stenciled?
What a pity- good judgement and maturity was not on the list.
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