QUOTED: a diehard Toronto Maple Leafs fan on why he splurged on a $5,300 toilet

—Barrie-based lawyer, Toronto Maple Leafs fanatic and person with too much money and questionable judgment Jim Vigmond, explaining why he purchased a ramshackle old toilet from the hometown squad’s former dressing room at Maple Leaf Gardens for a whopping $5,300 (incredibly, that figure was significantly less than the $10,000 he was willing to spend). Vigmond’s plans for his new toy are cartoonishly mantastic: he wants to stick the throne in his sports memorabilia room, sit on it, smoke a cigar, drink a bottle of 30-year-old single malt scotch and watch a Maple Leafs game—if the NHL ever gets back on the ice. In the meantime, Vigmond can sit with his cigar and single malt and devote himself to contemplating what lies ahead. [Toronto Star]

(Image: toilet, Titanas)