Justin Bieber allegedly hurt a grown man with his mighty fists of fury

Manhood: what better way of achieving it than being a suspect in a criminal battery case? Despite rumours of a breakup, Justin Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez were out on Sunday when a paparazzo popped up, attempted to take pictures, and wouldn’t move his car when Bieber was trying to leave. A scuffle then allegedly occurred, resulting in the photographer filing a police report due to “pain to his upper torso” (which, let’s face it, sounds more like the consequence of a Subway sandwich than the knuckles of a baby-faced teen star). If the rumours of fisticuffs are true, there are a few top theories about why the Biebz has developed an edge: the pressures of having to prance around with Gomez after a breakup; a recent dinner with punch-happy Chris Brown; or a training session with reformed ear-biter Mike Tyson that occurred a mere few hours before the incident. As of now, all of these theories are speculative, but an investigation is underway. Despite GQ claiming otherwise, it seems as though Biebsy is a boy no more.