Dear Urban Diplomat: do I still have to donate to my ex-fiancée’s charity challenge?
Dear Urban Diplomat,
My fiancée’s brother hit me up for his half-marathon charity challenge, and I agreed to donate a couple of hundred bucks. Then, just before the race, she dumped me. The last thing I want to do now is help her brother out. He did the run, and, yes, I signed the donation form, but what happens if I just don’t hand over the money? Will the charity police come after me?
—Welchers Without Borders, Oakridge
All the charities we spoke to had the same answer: give because you want to help, not because you feel obligated. And no, they won’t send any heavies to shake you down if you don’t pay. But you did make a promise and your name is on your almost-brother-in-law’s donor list, so he could still come a-knockin’ to collect. Don’t want to deal with an awkward meeting to hand him the cash? Fine—skip the middleman. Send a cheque for the pledged amount directly to the charity, and you’ll still get to bask in the glow of all that warm, fuzzy karma.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com
![](http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https://torontolife.com/city/dear-urban-diplomat-charity-donation-my-ex-fiancees-brother/&title=Dear Urban Diplomat: do I still have to donate to my ex-fiancée’s charity challenge?&picture=https://torontolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/dear-urban-diplomat-charity-donation-my-ex-fiancees-brother.jpg&description=[caption id="attachment_317963" align="alignright" width="292"] (Image: Don DeBold/Flickr)[/caption]
Dear Urban Diplomat,
My fiancée’s brother hit me up for his half-marathon charity challenge, and I agreed to donate a couple of hundred bucks. Then, just before the race, she dumped me. The last thing I want to do now is help her brother out. He did the run, and, yes, I signed the donation form, but what happens if I just don’t hand over the money? Will the charity police come after me?
—Welchers Without Borders, Oakridge
All the charities we spoke to had the same answer: give because you want to help, not because you feel obligated. And no, they won’t send any heavies to shake you down if you don’t pay. But you did make a promise and your name is on your almost-brother-in-law’s donor list, so he could still come a-knockin’ to collect. Don’t want to deal with an awkward meeting to hand him the cash? Fine—skip the middleman. Send a cheque for the pledged amount directly to the charity, and you’ll still get to bask in the glow of all that warm, fuzzy karma.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com){kind=link}
This seems fairly petty. I don’t know why you’d punish the charity because things didn’t work out with you and your ex-fiance. it’s only a couple hundred bucks and you get your tax receipt anyway.
I agree with Juniormistmaker – you made the donation to the Charity, not your fiancée or her brother, so you should honour that commitment regardless of your relationship status. Not to mention, bailing on something like that will likely further justify for her why she dumped you, and you’ll lose any ‘high ground’ you may have had post break-up
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