Who Would Play Whom? Dream-casting the inevitable movie version of the Rob Ford Crack Scandal

Who would play mayor Rob Ford in the movie version of the ongoing crack scandal? Many observers have noted this week that Chris Farley had the requisite girth, complexion and hair colour (Steven Colbert even called Ford “Toronto’s Chris Farley tribute mayor”). All true, but with Farley tragically taken from this world, he will be unable to step into what would have been the role of a lifetime. Ford is, moreover, just one player in this drama. Who would play Karen Stintz, the mayor’s ally-cum-opponent? Or his certified frenemy Giorgio Mammoliti? Or his boastful brother Dougie? We have the answers here.