Who Would Play Whom? Dream-casting the inevitable movie version of the Rob Ford Crack Scandal
Who Would Play Whom? Dream-casting the inevitable movie version of the Rob Ford Crack Scandal
Who would play mayor Rob Ford in the movie version of the ongoing crack scandal? Many observers have noted this week that Chris Farley had the requisite girth, complexion and hair colour (Steven Colbert even called Ford “Toronto’s Chris Farley tribute mayor”). All true, but with Farley tragically taken from this world, he will be unable to step into what would have been the role of a lifetime. Ford is, moreover, just one player in this drama. Who would play Karen Stintz, the mayor’s ally-cum-opponent? Or his certified frenemy Giorgio Mammoliti? Or his boastful brother Dougie? We have the answers here.
See the stars we’d cast in Gravy Train Wreck: The Rob Ford Story »
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- (Images: Harmon: Michael Tran/Getty; Vaughan: City of Toronto)
- COUNCILLOR ADAM VAUGHAN will be played by MARK HARMON
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- (Images: Duvall: Steve Granitz; Holyday: City of Toronto)
- MPP DOUG HOLYDAY will be played by ROBERT DUVALL
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- GEORGE SMITHERMAN will be played by <em>Lost’</em>s TERRY O'QUINN
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- (Images: Pantalone: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Joe_Pantalone_Doors_Open_Toronto_2010_Crop.jpg">Tabercil</a>; Moranis: Jamie McCarthy/Getty)
- JOE PANTALONE will be played by <em>Ghostbusters’</em> RICK MORANIS
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- (Images: Sarah Thomson: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/39460517@N03/4380751665/in/photolist-7F7uR8-bqZ6ES-bqZ5Ju-bqZ72G-bqZ9Hm-bDU2Tt-bqZ5PA-bqZ6A7-bDU2sK-bqZ6Q9-bDU2a6-bDU2y4-bDU6k8-bqZ7hJ-bDU69g-bDU22v-bqZ6qy-bDU1WF-bDU2HH-bqZ5as-bqZ6uy-bDU3GP-bqZ6gj-bqZ5kU-bDU3sz-9DSoso-9DTexr-9DR2WY-9DVBko-9DVQpy-9DQVcA-9DVQom-9DTPHH-9DRV8d-9DTfvd-9DTPJe-9DVBkC-9DSorL-9DWSGY-9DPM32-9DRV8w-9DQVdj-9DRV83-9DTeAt-9DQVcN-9DPM2i-9DVQp7-9DVQoS-9DTftU-9DWSGq-87juER">Tsar Kasim</a>; Julia Roberts: Steve Granitz/Getty)
- SARAH THOMSON will be played by pretty woman JULIA ROBERTS
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- (Images: Dimanno: Toronto Star; Fey: J. Countess/Getty)
- ROSIE DIMANNO will be played by <em>30 Rock</em>'s TINA FEY
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- (Images: McCarthy: Jamie McCarthy/Getty; Donovan: Toronto Star)
- KEVIN DONOVAN will be played by ANDREW MCCARTHY
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- (Images: Tunney: Didier Baverel/Getty; Doolittle: Toronto Star)
- ROBYN DOOLITTLE will be played by <em>The Craft’</em>s ROBIN TUNNEY
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- (Images: Mammoliti: The Grid; Batista: wallpaperhunana.com)
- COUNCILLOR GIORGIO MAMMOLITI will be played by WWE wrestling phenomenon BATISTA
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- (Images: Lee: <a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/1173492-sook_yin_lee/pictures/11336066/">junkpilejennifer</a>; Chow: Montrealais/Wikipedia
- MP OLIVIA CHOW will be played (again!) by <em> DNTO’</em>s SOOK YIN LEE
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- (Images: Poehler: Kris Connor/Getty; Stintz: Karen Stintz/Wikipedia)
- TTC CHAIR KAREN STINTZ will be played by AMY POEHLER
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- (Images: Martin: unattributed promotional image; Wynne: Kathleen Wynne/Facebook)
- KATHLEEN WYNNE will be played by <em>SCTV’</em>s ANDREA MARTIN (as EDITH PRICKLY)
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- (Images: Cohen: Frazer Harrison/Getty; Lisi: CBC/screenshot)
- ALESSANDRO LISI will be played by Borat himself, SASCHA BARON COHEN
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- (Images: Blair/Toronto Police Video Services; Lithgow: Michael Tran/Getty)
- POLICE CHIEF BILL BLAIR will be played by <em>Third Rock</em>'s JOHN LITHGOW
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- (Image: Daniels: Jason LaVeris/Getty; Ford: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Councillor_Doug_Ford_at_levee_2011_cropped.jpg">Skeezix1000</a>/Wikipedia)
- COUNCILLOR DOUG FORD will be played, ironically, by <em>Newsroom</em> journalism-proponent JEFF DANIELS
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- (Images: Anderson: Jonathan Leibson/Getty; Ford: Christopher Drost)
- The role of MAYOR ROB FORD will be played by LOUIE ANDERSON
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. All true, but with Farley tragically taken from this world, he will be unable to step into what would have been the role of a lifetime. Ford is, moreover, just one player in this drama. Who would play Karen Stintz, the mayor’s ally-cum-opponent? Or his certified frenemy Giorgio Mammoliti? Or his boastful brother Dougie? We have the answers here.
See the stars we’d cast in Gravy Train Wreck: The Rob Ford Story »
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my picks:
Rob Ford: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Doug Ford: not sure of this one
Karen Stintz: Amy Poehler
Mammo: Vince Vaughan
Kate Mara = Robyn Doolittle. That is all.
wow…you must really be hurting for content at Toronto Life?
Denzel Washington did a great job as a druggie in Flight.
robyn can play herself. hot. as. hell.
I think Zach Galifianakis would be a fantastic Doug. In a blonde wig?
Relax. It’s funny.
Link to the TV version here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chrysler-Country/500021360029628
Here’s the TV version: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chrysler-Country/500021360029628?ref=hl
Poor Tina Fey!
Relax, it’s very VERY funny!
Who should portray Hulk Hogan? The Hulkster himself or Chris Helmsworth?
Chris Farley would have been great