The Rahim Jaffer affair: a six-point primer

When Rahim Jaffer had his cocaine possession and drunk-driving charges dropped and received a $500 slap on the wrist, even the judge called the plea bargain “a break.” Fortunately, the Star is here to show that even the whiff of a crime doesn’t pay. Thanks to a lengthy exposé on the cover of the paper today, Jaffer is getting his comeuppance in the courtroom of public opinion. The piece is sprinkled with “busty hookers,” Harbour Sixty steaks, pro football players, strip clubs, luxury cars and hints of influence peddling. To help grease the wheels of justice, and to make sense of the scandal in general, here are the six top indignities in Jaffergate thus far.

1. Jaffer uses his MP business cards
While Jaffer was meeting with some business associates, he passed out his card—kind of. “Though Jaffer has not been an MP since he lost an election in 2008, he still gives out his MP business cards,” reports the Star. Perhaps this is his way of saving paper, though who wouldn’t be suspicious of a businessman who couldn’t afford to update his business cards? Extra shady: the Conservative Party logo was on his Web site at the time (it’s since been taken down by Tory order).

2. Jaffer claims he can get into the feds’ coffers
“Jaffer, as he often does, told businessmen that he and his company, Green Power Solutions, were experts in obtaining government money,” says the Star. While that might be true, and no doubt the Opposition will be looking into it, it’s still somewhat satisfying to hear the Conservatives deny it. The Globe quotes one Conservative as saying, “The PM lost faith in Jaffer a long time ago.”

3. Jaffer might be a breast man
The Star describes the women in his party at Harbour Sixty as “busty hookers” provided by high-class escort agency Cachet Ladies.

4. Jaffer’s whipped
After the boozy dinner, Jaffer drove home in the Ford Explorer owned by his wife, Helena Guergis. And he had to go home early, so that she wouldn’t get mad (we’ve heard that she’s prone to hissy fits).

5. Jaffer’s taste in associates is questionable
The key business associate with whom Jaffer met on the wild night in question, Nazim Gillani, is engaged to a lady he met on an escort date. Classy.

6. Jaffer was strip-searched
After being arrested for cocaine possession, “officers at the OPP detachment conducted a strip search of the former MP, which police say is standard protocol when drugs are found on a person.” This is mostly notable because while he was being strip-searched, his dinner partners were headed to a strip club.

• Former MP Rahim Jaffer connected to conman [Toronto Star]
• Rahim Jaffer has no influence with Prime Minister, spokesman says [Globe and Mail]