Justin Trudeau’s meet-cute with Emmanuel Macron has launched a new wave of steamy Trudeau fan fiction
When Emmanuel Macron and Justin Trudeau took a break from the G7 in Italy last week to slip out for a sun-drenched seaside stroll, the bromantic moment inspired a torrent of sentimental conjecture on Twitter. But for many, the dreamy meet-cute was too swollen with erotic potential to be contained in a mere tweet. Only longform would satisfy.
Trudeau fan fiction has been a thriving genre in some corners of the internet for a while now, especially after the PM’s rendezvous with Barack Obama last year. Now, the meeting with Macron has revived the Trudeau erotica category. In the space of a week, the French president’s avid stare has become the male gaze that launched a thousand ebooks. (Well, a handful, at least.)
Here are a few of them.
In this story, which takes place during the two leaders’ walk in the garden, we find out whether Macron and Trudeau are ready to face the obstacles on their path to love. (The answer is yes, obviously.) So far there’s only a first chapter and nothing really happens, but the brief teaser is already full of devouring eyes and frissons running up spines. Much of it surprisingly chaste. Of note: the author’s fascination with Trudeau’s hands, which are of “an incredible softness, almost unreal.”
This one opens several days after Macron and Trudeau’s encounter in the garden. We find Macron inhaling deeply from the scent of a rose to rekindle the memories of the sweet communion the two men shared: their tender looks and involuntary caresses, Trudeau’s “maple voice” in his ear. But Macron is feeling guilty, because the odious Trump has bullied him into sharing his personal phone number. Will Trudeau be jealous? Not after Macron grabs his arm and whispers, “Toi et moi are all that matter ok.” They make love to the sound of rainfall outside an open window and music drifting in from a nearby restaurant. The two world leaders get married several months later and Celine Dion officiates the wedding.
Not all of these stories are strongly tethered to the real-world identities of the players. In this one, Justin is a doctoral student in Paris who goes out one evening to a piano bar with friends. He immediately becomes obsessed with the young piano player and starts frequenting the bar alone. One night, on his way out of the toilet, he runs headlong into the beautiful musician, who has a radiant smile and an air of sadness, and who introduces himself as “Emmanuel.” Their repartee is quick but their courtship is slow and halting. Justin becomes worried when he learns that Emmanuel is only 18 years old, but his friend Barack reassures him, so Justin returns to the bar. There, he finds Emmanuel barely able to stand from a bout of the flu. Justin helps him up to his room and removes his shirt and tie. They lie down together briefly, but Justin leaves after Emmanuel falls asleep—though not without leaving his phone number. The next day they send texts and promise to see each other “a très bientôt.”
Trudeau’s wedding photoshoot with Macron in Italy wasn’t the first foreign visit to inspire erotica. “Canadian Comfort” returns to the original bromance, envisioning a secret dalliance with Barack Obama in his last days in the White House. As in many of these stories, Trump is the catalyst for more intimate diplomacy, as Obama turns to Trudeau for sweet relief from the newly elected hell-baby. The former president knows what he wants, even if the prime minister is more conflicted: “Justin tried to protest, shaking, wanting nothing more than to kiss Barack Obama.”
Others from the Obama sub-genre are more explicit. In “Head of State,” Trudeau asks how he can impress the former president in a private meeting, to which Obama replies: “I don’t know, Justin. Surprise me.” No reader will be surprised by what ensues.
Trud-otica isn’t just for boys, though. Another key subset of the genre has Trudeau falling for young women. The challenges are basically the same either way, as in this critical scene from the first chapter of “The Other Woman”: “I would leave my wife, but we’ve also got to take into consideration that I’m the Prime Minister of Canada, for God’s sake.” The judiciously titled “Trudeau” follows a young intern on the Hill. It takes more time to heat up, but doesn’t waste a minute getting to prime minister’s “soft hand,” which is apparently a staple of the sexual myth-making effort for Trudeau.