A risqué comedy show, a burlesque bonanza and five other things to do on Valentine’s Day

For those who want to laugh away the sorrow

Hook-ups, break-ups, missed connections—if you’re going to get tangled in them, you might as well laugh about them. Hooking Up with Second City will help turn V-Day blues into punchlines with madcap sketches and unpredictable improv. Monday, February 13 and Tuesday, February 14; Friday, February 17 to Sunday, February 19. $26. 51 Mercer St., secondcity.com.

For those who love the tease

Listen: you probably want your Valentine’s Day to include some nudity. For some guaranteed skin, try Voulez-Vous Valentine, in which the Toronto-based troupes Skin Tight Outta Sight and Boylesque T.O. team up for a burlesque show with a French New Wave twist. Perfect entertainment for fans of Jean-Luc Godard, Brigitte Bardot, and, well, strippers. February 14. $25. Revival Bar, 783 College St., skintightouttasight.com.

For the master detective

We’ve all been there: the date is going well, he/she asks you to come up for a drink, and then…murder! In Valentine’s Day Murder Mystery, guests help Sherlock Holmes and co. solve the trickiest case of their careers over a three-course meal. Tuesday, February 14. $50.85–$89. Mysteriously Yours Mystery Dinner Theatre, 2026 Yonge St., mysteriouslyyours.ca.

For the animal lover

Watch the monkey cage at the zoo long enough and you’ll know humans aren’t the only ones who get in the Valentine spirit. Learn about the art of animal attraction over a starry-eyed dinner with your own (human) mate at Love at the Zoo. Because nothing says romance like a sneak peek at the zoo’s new Reproductive Labs. Saturday, February 11 to Tuesday, February 14. $85–$160. Toronto Zoo, 2000 Meadowvale Rd., torontozoo.com.

For those in need of variety

This annual Valentine’s variety show takes the term “variety” very seriously: the eclectic lineup includes alt-country singer-songwriter Oh Susanna, witty stand-up comic Carla Collins, suave illusionist Keith Brown, burlesque babe Rhapsody Blue and “hunky burlesque Adonis” El Toro. A portion of the proceeds will support charitable projects in Kenya. Tuesday, February 14. $25–$30. Roncesvalles United Church, 240 Roncesvalles Ave., tinyurl.com/ragbag2017.

For the heartsick cinephile

Tired of sappy movies where the main characters always end up together? Two unconventional romances return to Toronto rep theatres this Valentine’s: the Royal has the Canadian slasher My Bloody Valentine, while Hot Docs screens Hal Ashby’s beloved intergenerational romance Harold and Maude. Tuesday, February 14. $10. The Royal, 608 College St., theroyal.to; Ted Rogers Hot Docs Cinema, 506 Bloor St. W., hotdocs.ca.

For the art lover

Sophisticated suitors can take that special someone on a stroll past some masterpieces this week: the AGO’s Valentine’s Experience package offers two general admission tickets, dinner (with a special cinq-à-sept menu at Frank), and a choice of items at the AGO shop. Friday, February 10 to Friday, February 17. $110. Art Gallery of Ontario, 317 Dundas St. W., ago.net.