“I’m deeper than people assume”: Sarah Gadon on the creepy brilliance of Wayward

When Sarah Gadon was offered a role on Wayward, she got the scripts for the first two episodes. Don’t worry, said the show’s writer, director and star, Mae Martin, your character really unravels as the show goes on. We’ll spare you any spoilers, but that’s more than a bit of an understatement when you consider the unlikely trajectory taken by Gadon’s character, Laura. Wayward tells the story of Tall Pines Academy, a fictionalized version of the troubled-teen institutions that have made international headlines for malpractice. Toni Collette plays the school’s enigmatic leader, Evelyn, while Gadon plays a former student who comes back to town to start a family with her husband, played by Martin—only something feels off. 

The first big swing for Netflix Canada, the show debuted in September and blew past other buzzy fall releases (including Black Rabbit, the crime thriller starring Jason Bateman and Jude Law) to hit the number-one slot—first in Canada and then on the streamer’s global rankings. Here, Gadon, who had recently become a mother herself when she started filming the show, talks about why a series about damaged children was actually a good distraction from parenting, her own misspent youth in Toronto and why begging strangers to buy you beer was the ultimate acting school.

Wayward has been a huge hit. Obviously, it features an excellent script with excellent performances, but is there anything in particular about the subject matter that you think hooked audiences? I think audiences really appreciate specificity right now. They want to learn about a certain place or culture or moment in time. Wayward pulls back the curtain on the troubled-teen industry, and I think a lot of people don’t know that much about it, myself included when I started working on the show. I had no idea what a huge, multimillion-dollar business these schools were in America, and I didn’t understand the culture around them—this broader societal anxiety about teenagers being out of control. It really feels like a mentality that’s been carried over from the 1950s. We’re still afraid of younger generations in a way that feels so dated.

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What was it about Laura’s character that drew you in? Mae sent me the first two episodes with this really nice note, basically saying, I don’t know you, but we’re two kids from the same place in Toronto, and we have all these people in common. I hear you’re really nice, and I’m really nice. They told me that Laura may seem one way on the surface in those early episodes, but as the show gathers steam, she unravels into something unexpected. I’m drawn to playing women who are very different from how they are perceived. For a lot of my life, people have underestimated me or made judgments based on how I look. But I am much deeper than people assume—as are all women.

Your character is pregnant. You’re a new mom. Was it weird filming a series that has such a creepy view on parenthood? My first year of motherhood was such a roller coaster—so many different kinds of feelings. It wasn’t really the fairy tale that I thought it was going to be. Nothing felt natural or easy. I had a lot of trouble with my body, including a postpartum thyroid condition, which is why I looked like I was still pregnant during shooting. For me, it was a relief to have a creative outlet for all the things I was feeling, and that included detachment. It was really helpful when it came to relating to Laura’s feelings of disconnection and the pressure that gets put on mothers. When you become a mother, you realize that these standards aren’t standard at all. I have a lot of empathy for Laura. I know that her version of family becomes perverted as the series progresses, but I do feel like she’s very earnest in searching to find a solution for that disconnect. Another big positive was that we shot a lot of the show in Etobicoke. I’m a west-end girl, and I was breastfeeding the whole time, so logistically it was a good fit.

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When we meet Laura and her husband, Alex, they have just moved to Tall Pines. Alex has no idea what lurks beneath the surface, but Laura, who grew up there, does. Why does she go back? When I wanted to start a family, I had this deep pull to return home, to be close to relatives, to be close to my roots. The way I saw it, Laura had that same desire. When you meet Laura and Alex, they’re on this big high: they’re about to start this fresh chapter with this new house in this new community, and it’s really a homecoming for Laura. But then, in coming home, she’s forced to deal with all of these repressed memories, feelings and relationships, and she starts to unravel as she tries to reconcile her past. I think her whole perverted idea of community as family is a way for her to heal from not having one.

Wayward is about so-called troubled teens. What were you like during those years? I was that teenager with a double life. I was high-achieving at school and in extracurriculars, but then I was rebellious and had this other side that I hid from my parents. I grew up in a strict household, so I would lie about things. I feel like a lot of teens can have that experience where they’re being bad, experimenting and pushing boundaries in a hidden way. It was just the usual stuff: drinking in the park, doing drugs that are now legal, shoulder-tapping outside of the LCBO.

For the uninitiated, shoulder-tapping is asking strangers to buy you beer when you’re underage. A real Ontario right of passage in some circles. It’s funny because I was talking about this with my husband. He grew up with the kind of liberal parents who bought beer for you, and I think it has given us very different approaches to our work ethic. I had to work for my party—I had to shoulder-tap. It’s a different kind of performing, really.

On the show, toads play a central role. Laura in particular has a memorable toad showdown. Can you talk about your amphibian co-stars? The toads produce a drug that is part of the “leap ceremony” performed at Tall Pines. The idea is that it’s supposed to erase past trauma, though whether that’s true becomes a central controversy. So the frog is this symbol of transcendence. And then, I think, for Laura, the toad also represents the nagging past that she can’t fully access. When she was a kid and she was administered this toad drug, she did this “leap” that severed this connection within herself. Now, in her adult life, she’s trying to find this connection, to piece it together once again, and the toad is kind of haunting her.

There’s one scene where she haunts him right back. Can I assume that no toads were harmed in the filming? We had a toad wrangler on set. The toads were treated better than we were. We had to be so careful on set because they absorb everything through their skin. The toad was so gross to touch—I can’t even. But, yes, in that drain scene, it was all movie magic: the toad went down the drain onto a beautiful pillow, and then when I pressed the garburator it was fake blood.

Laura’s birth scene in the finale was also extremely disturbing. When I got the script for the final episode, the birth scene, as it was written then, was a little bit clichéd. I told Mae, We have to fix this. That’s the first thing they tell you when you take those birthing classes—that whatever you’ve seen on TV is not what it’s like to give birth. When your water breaks, it’s not a giant gush; it’s like a trickle. And when you’re in labour, it’s not just pain the entire time. So we finessed that whole sequence to be more realistic, which I was really pleased about.

I guess you were in a good position to consult on a birthing scene having recently given birth. I didn’t have a water birth like Laura did, but I knew the guttural sounds that I had made. Even when I was watching the episode back, I was like, Oh my god, I don’t need to see that again.

There were strong reactions to the finale on social media and a lot of fan theories. Are you following along? There’s a debate going on where some people felt like the ending was satisfying and some found it unsatisfying. Some people wanted characters to get what they wanted and others were okay with things not going that way. I think it’s always a good sign when people are having those conversations.

I would call it satisfyingly unsatisfying, because there are a lot of question marks, particularly around who is still alive and whether Laura is the new bad guy. She’s definitely one of the few characters who actually gets what she wants in the finale. I think she’s planning to lead the community but that she thinks it’s going to be less of a dictatorship.

Spoken like a true nascent cult leader. Right.

I’m sure you’ve seen the fan theory that says Evelyn is really Laura’s mother. Yeah, that’s a good one. I think Evelyn was definitely trying to protect Laura from something. I will say that Evelyn and Laura have a deeper connection than what we see on the surface.

It sounds like there’s still a lot to work through on a possible second season. I signed on for a limited series, so I feel like we had a complete story with this season, but I love that people like the show so much that they want more. I’m not going to comment on what could happen because that is really a question for Mae. But do I think that there’s more to mine in these characters? Absolutely.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.