“Most jobs are made up”: Emily the Recruiter will teach you how to get hired—even in this economy

After earning a degree in human resources at York University, Emily Durham landed an internship at a major Canadian bank, assuming it would be a stop on the way to bigger and better things. But she quickly became fascinated by the gymnastics of landing a corporate job, and her insider perspective made her feel a bit like a spy. On social media, she started sharing down-to-earth advice for millennials and Gen Zers looking to break into a professional career, and her TikTok, @emilytherecruiter, has since blown up, attracting over 936,000 followers. On May 19, Durham will release her first book, Clock In, a no-nonsense pocket-sized guide to surviving in the current job market. We sat down with the employment guru to talk about how to get and keep a job in this bleak economy.

With so much of your advice in free video form online, what made you want to write a book? There is so much incredible information online, not just on my TikTok but across the internet, and it’s overwhelming to discern which messages are directed at whom. If you’re starting a new job, are you really going to scroll through six billion videos? No. So I put my best stuff in one cute pink paperback—which I feel like I just gave birth to.

How does Gen Z’s approach to work differ from that of older generations? Gen Z has seen some shit. They grew up with non-stop access to digital information; they watched companies slash and burn employees during the pandemic; and now they’re trying to compete with AI for entry-level work. They don’t believe that loyalty equals reward. They’re rightfully skeptical and unwilling to do the same song and dance for employers that previous generations did, because hard work is a much smaller part of the formula for professional longevity than ever before. Instead of grinding for a single senior position, I see a trend toward building up a portfolio of jobs that shows a breadth of work. A little bit of this, a little bit of that—gig work, part-time contracts and full-time work.

It sounds like you’re pro–“job hopping.” Bring on the job hopping. When an employee quits, recruiting, onboarding and paying a competitive rate to a new hire costs the company a pretty penny, so “job hopping” emerged as a negative term from a corporate culture that wanted to retain staff. But studies show that leaving your job every two to three years will maximize your earning potential. That said, it’s not a universal rule. It’s worth staying at a job you like for longer if they pay market rate and cultivate a workplace that feels rewarding. There’s nothing wrong with sticking around for that.

Related: The construction industry warns that 100,000 jobs are at risk

You’ve said that recruiters spend a maximum of six seconds with a resumé. What makes you linger a little longer? First of all, people think it’s all about hacking for AI now. It’s not. You’re still hacking for a human. AI helps bring resumés to the top, but a human recruiter with sore eyes is always going to read it, so please think of us. Keep it to one page only—you only get two pages if you’re a big executive.

I always say, if triple D works for Dolly Parton, then it works for me. The Ds are design, data, details. If I don’t follow the flow of information, I’m out. Recruiters don’t read; we scan, and our eyes stop on numerals, so use cold, hard numbers to describe yourself. You’re no longer a restaurant worker; you’re a server who served over 200 customers a shift, averaging a 4.8 out of 5 satisfaction score.

Lastly, I believe in the grandma test. A granny should be able to read two or three sentences and give her friends at the legion a high-level breakdown of what her grandkid does for work.

Have you seen anything wacky happening in application packages? Most are pretty vanilla—which I’ll take over bananas any day. But I’ve seen some funky choices. Someone once took a career break to travel and included the highlights from their trip on their resumé. I liked that they were owning their story and giving me a conversation starter.

On the flip side, people straight up lie about job titles. I’m all for a little razzle dazzle, but don’t invent work. I’ve seen candidates list roles that I know don’t exist because I’ve recruited for those companies. And then there are cover letters where people drag their previous boss. It’s not a flex—it sounds like a whiny smear campaign and a risk for the hiring company.

Speaking of cover letters, has AI ruined them? With AI, all cover letters are the same. Before AI, all cover letters were the same. Cover letters have been dead for a long time, and they remain dead. In general, I’m against cover letters. A cover letter is a company asking its applicants to beg for a job. If I’m looking at a resumé for six seconds, guess how long I’m reading a cover letter for? Zero. And if no one is reading them, why spend the time creating a labour-intensive customized document?

But, if a job requires one, I say use AI to structure and proofread it, but don’t let it create the finished product. Recruiters can tell. They want to find a human with ideas and a personality—but it’s also in their best interest to hire a human who can cleverly use AI. It has its drawbacks, which we can talk about until the cows come home, but the reality is that, if someone chooses to resist new technology, their career is going to get left in the dust.

Related: “I spilled my secrets to an AI therapist. It didn’t go well”

A lot of my friends don’t apply to jobs if they don’t meet all of the requirements. How real are those demands for 10-plus years of work experience? Job posts aren’t like recipes. If you’re short a cup of flour, your cake is going to turn out terribly. But the person writing that job description isn’t a scientist. He’s likely just a man on his lunch break, vaping in an underground food court, thinking, Ten years of experience, trilingual, happened to be a lawyer for a while too—done, send. I want a six-pack, perfect teeth and hair down to my waist, but we can’t always get what we want. Instead of focusing on the volume of years, ask yourself if you can genuinely deliver on the responsibilities. If the answer is yes, it’s totally worth applying.

What’s a question everyone should ask at the end of an interview? There’s a bunch, but I’ll boil it down to my favourites. If you’re confident the interview went well, ask for feedback. Try: “I really enjoyed our conversation. If you have any feedback on how I performed, or any hesitations about me as a candidate, I’m open to hearing that.” It does three things: you get real-time insight, it shows you’re confident and it gives you a chance to respond. If they say they’re looking for someone with seven years of experience but you have four, you can talk about other reasons you could perform at that level.

Another one I love is asking about management and leadership style. If they say, “We manage performance on a one-off basis,” the translation is, “We don’t manage performance—good luck ever getting a raise here.” If a company says, “We’re like a family,” that’s a red flag. Your family sends you to therapy—and they don’t foot the bill for sessions.

You talk a lot about putting on a work persona. Where’s the line between the real self and the work self? Your authentic self isn’t one fixed identity. I’m different with my friends than I am with my family than I am at work. They’re all the real me, but I’m activating different facets of my personality. The key to unlocking your work self is asking what you want to be known for. Some people want to do great work and go home. For me, I wanted to be a personality hire who got attention. That became my brand.

My hard rule for an at-work persona is to be friendly, not a best friend. If you go in assuming that everyone is your best friend, you’ll get burned fast. Small talk is important for visibility, so remember details like, Sue’s kid just started learning to play the drums, but don’t feel like you have to overshare. I’ve seen people overshare, and word gets around and suddenly that person’s reputation takes a hit. Start professional. As trust builds, you can show more of yourself, if that’s important to you. But you don’t need to be available for social events. You can be “busy” that night.

Toxic work environments take up some serious space in Clock In. Give us the Coles Notes on how to deal with toxic co-workers? Empathy first. Sometimes people exhibit toxic behaviours because they’re going through something and it gets misdirected. No one who’s happy is also a bully. Feeling empathy can soften how the aggravation feels. Yet, at the same time, we’re not doormats. If a colleague is throwing projects at you last-minute and accusing you of making mistakes, try to get clarity. Before you start the project, send an email summary and get them to sign off on it in writing. If it’s snippy comments, play a little dumb. Ask politely, “What did you mean by that? I didn’t understand.”

If you can’t deescalate easily, don’t feed the tiger in the zoo. Go to your manager directly. HR is there to protect the company first, not you. This person could be a risk to the company, which could mean that HR can help you.

What about a toxic boss? Toxic bosses usually aren’t logical. It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to have an open conversation with them. You can increase documentation and ask for specific feedback. Try something like, “I’ve noticed that, in our workflow, there have been a lot of last-minute change requests. Is there anything I can do to help that not happen as often?” It can be disarming to frame it as your goal to improve the situation. But, if it’s a boss that’s truly cruel, going to HR will be an uphill battle, and it may take up a lot of your mental space. Maybe it’s worth applying for other jobs.

What if I just don’t like working? How do you suggest quieting the existential angst that comes with the knowledge that we’re trading our limited time on this earth for capital? We all go through phases where our priorities waver. Work will feel central at times, less so at others. For a job to be fulfilling, it needs to offer three things: validation, purpose and lifestyle. We all want to be told we’re doing a good job. We all want to feel like what we’re doing matters. Maybe if you’re a financial analyst, you love your aesthetically pleasing spreadsheet. Or maybe your job gives you flexibility to work from home or you can listen to a podcast while you work.

You’ve written a whole book about professional success, and now you, too, have a highly successful career. What advice would you go back and give your adolescent self about work? Release the idea that you’re ever going to have it all figured out. All you can do is create great habits and skills to get you through. You’re going to be in the process of figuring it out all over again a gazillion times in your career.

It’s a waste to ruminate, sob and dry-heave over mistakes. You won’t be on your deathbed wishing you had done better work. If you’re a good person who is kind to others, put yourself out there and work hard, and opportunities will find you—you don’t have to chase them as hard as you might think. No job is honestly that real. Crying over a mistake in a Word document? Who cares? We float on a rock and most of our jobs are made up.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.