Inspired by Steve Martin’s joke (from, uh, two years ago) on 30 Rock that Toronto is like New York without all the stuff, the Star has published a 25-item wish list. Some are no brainers—elevating condo retail concourses beyond Subways and grocery chains, 24-hour TTC service on weekends—but others are head-scratchers.
For example, item number eight suggests assigned seating at cinemas (nothing’s more fun than taking a number), which Cineplex has already introduced at the Queensway Cinema in Etobicoke at its new UltraAVX theatre. Do people care? Not really, which is why this is unlikely to be widely adopted. A movie museum, the 10th suggestion, is forthcoming, with the Bell Lightbox set to feature a Canadian film gallery and reference library when it opens in October.
Other requests are more ludicrous, such as bringing in capsule hotels like the ones in Japan (because sci-fi-movie living is a rational idea in spacious Canada), and giving every culture in Toronto its own “Little” spot of turf, i.e., Little Iran, Netherlands, Russia, Jamaica, Chile, Bangladesh, etc. Never mind if locals can fill the ’hoods with stores and restaurants that are relevant. The piece doesn’t give much thought to planning, either. One item suggests secret concerts at airport hangars, and another recommends roping in residents to provide entertainment and food at street festivals. A logistical nightmare, you say? We’ll leave that to city planners to solve, they say. Um, no we won’t.
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