Dear Urban Diplomat: what can I do about the never-ending porn shoot next door?
Dear Urban Diplomat,
It seems the unit down the hall at my condo has become the world’s busiest porno set. There’s a steady stream of sketchy characters loading in camera and lighting gear, and lots of very obvious on-screen “talent” hanging around. Unbelievably, they keep the noise down, but it’s easy to guess what’s going on. I have two kids. What are my options?
—Girls Next Door, Liberty Village
Normally my advice would be to pop down the hall with a plate of baked goods and sort things out like adults. But since porn storylines so often incorporate the plumber/pizza delivery guy/random neighbour dropping by, that might be a bad idea. Instead, talk to your condo board. They’re not there just to bump up your fees. If they don’t take action, you may have luck with 311. Shooting porn isn’t illegal, but running a business in a unit zoned as residential is.
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Dear Urban Diplomat,
It seems the unit down the hall at my condo has become the world’s busiest porno set. There’s a steady stream of sketchy characters loading in camera and lighting gear, and lots of very obvious on-screen “talent” hanging around. Unbelievably, they keep the noise down, but it’s easy to guess what’s going on. I have two kids. What are my options?
—Girls Next Door, Liberty Village
Normally my advice would be to pop down the hall with a plate of baked goods and sort things out like adults. But since porn storylines so often incorporate the plumber/pizza delivery guy/random neighbour dropping by, that might be a bad idea. Instead, talk to your condo board. They’re not there just to bump up your fees. If they don’t take action, you may have luck with 311. Shooting porn isn’t illegal, but running a business in a unit zoned as residential is.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com){kind=link}
I would submit my resume.
So…where is this place? Just wondering…for a friend.
Just exactly what is the issue? They don’t make noise and they don’t, apparently, cause a problem, nor are they doing anything illegal. Why are you concerned for your children? Are they having sex in the hall? Do you not have sex in your condo when the children are asleep?
Perhaps you should get your nose out of your neighbour’s “business” and start talking to your kids.
Noise aside, I would find it very fucking annoying if sketchy ass people were constantly coming and going, closing doors, clogging the elevator with camera equipment, etc…but that’s less a morality issue and more an issue of not wanting to deal with any stupid bullshit when I get home.
Mind your own damn business!!!
Has it affected the condo value in a positive way? Maybe you should rent the apartment to them and give them more space to operate.
What does the Condo Board say? ;)
“Sketchy” is a very subjective term. Who is to say they are actually what you’d define as sketchy. Did the Home Alone movies teach you folks nothing?
Oh, I’m sorry I forgot to be Canadian and “inclusive” and “inoffensive.” Sorry if I hurt the feelings of the non-sketchy porn actors/actresses/crew out there. Not everyone in the porn industry is sketchy.
I think that this mom has the right to be concerned. Her Options: Go to condo board, City Hall for bylaws, speak with the police. I’m sure that the porno group can find other options. It’s a big city.
Does the condo have security?
If not, maybe the board could hold a vote to raise the condo fees to pay for a security guard set up at a desk. Having a sign-in book or leger (guard asking for I.D. to write down names) for guests wouldn’t be such a bad idea, guards call the units to ensure that residents are aware that guests are at reception and confirm that they are guests of that unit.
It could deter the “porno biz” from operating at your condo and be proof of record of “comings” (sorry…) and goings from that unit (…sorry, again).
At least it’s not a meth lab!
There is every possibility that condo owners are also “sketchy, maintain odd hours, lead busy lives, and carry big equipment for their jobs. Think plumber or electrician. Think workshop facilitator. Think artist-in-residence.
You don’t get to pick your neighbours. Besides, it sounds like the neighbours creating the “stupid bullshit” aren’t the ones making the porn if they maintain an attitude and interactive style anything like yours.
Stupid people usually muddy the waters…this isn’t a discussion about healthy sexuality. The condo owner has reasonable grounds to think that something illegal is occurring in the unit (whether it be filming porn, etc). She has a right to be concerned and have it investigated.
“Workshop facilitator?” “Artist-in-residence?” LOL.
Don’t stop, please, please carry on….so that we can continue laughing on your account…
Think odd hours …
WHAT??
“Shooting porn isn’t illegal, but running a business in a unit zoned as residential is.”
’nuff said.
Sorry, but I have to see the purported photos/videos being produced, in order to determine if said “evidence” is, indeed, of pornographic quality? In other words, giddy up, eh?
They should not allow foul language on this site! Brent needs his mouth washed out with soap.
Actually, I don’t think that anyone in the porn industry is “sketchy”. They’re all just entrepreneurs, like the rest of us. Now, can I please see some of the photos?
I admit, I am that friend!
Good point. Count yer blessings, I say.