Dear Urban Diplomat: Should I ask my 72-year-old mom why she’s taking STD medication?
My 72-year-old mother recently moved into a retirement home. On our last visit, I noticed her taking a new medication. She wouldn’t say why, but I googled it and found out it’s to treat an STD! My mom is very private so I can’t ask her what’s up. What should I do?
—Assisted Living Misgivings, Mimico
From what I hear, seniors’ homes can be lustier than a mud orgy at Woodstock. Come to think of it, given your mom’s age, it wouldn’t surprise me if she attended said festival and got her freak on between bong hits. I suggest you first talk to the staff to see if there’s anything you should be concerned about. If there isn’t—everything’s consensual, there’s no dementia—then back away and let your mom have some fun in the time she has left. If it makes you feel better, you could tag along to a dinner at the home one night and check out her wizened Lothario. The food won’t be Michelin-star quality, but you will get a chance to decide whether he’s a harmless old horndog or a cad. Either way, keep your assessment to yourself. Your mom’s all grown up and has earned the right to be treated as such.
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![](http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https://torontolife.com/city/urban-diplomat-assisted-living-misgivings/&title=Dear Urban Diplomat: Should I ask my 72-year-old mom why she’s taking STD medication?&picture=https://torontolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/urban-diplomat-assisted-living-misgivings-feat.jpg&description=[caption id="attachment_256787" align="alignleft" width="292"] (Image: dvortygirl)[/caption] Dear Urban Diplomat,
My 72-year-old mother recently moved into a retirement home. On our last visit, I noticed her taking a new medication. She wouldn’t say why, but I googled it and found out it’s to treat an STD! My mom is very private so I can’t ask her what’s up. What should I do?
—Assisted Living Misgivings, Mimico
From what I hear, seniors’ homes can be lustier than a mud orgy at Woodstock. Come to think of it, given your mom’s age, it wouldn’t surprise me if she attended said festival and got her freak on between bong hits. I suggest you first talk to the staff to see if there’s anything you should be concerned about. If there isn’t—everything’s consensual, there’s no dementia—then back away and let your mom have some fun in the time she has left. If it makes you feel better, you could tag along to a dinner at the home one night and check out her wizened Lothario. The food won’t be Michelin-star quality, but you will get a chance to decide whether he’s a harmless old horndog or a cad. Either way, keep your assessment to yourself. Your mom’s all grown up and has earned the right to be treated as such.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com
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Think logically… why is she taking STD medication? Probably because she has an STD. Is there any other possible conclusion? I think asking her about it is only bound to embarrass her, since there’s only one conceivable answer.
I think the only reason why you should be concerned is if it’s an over-the-counter medication that wasn’t prescribed by a doctor. While I’ve never heard of recreational use of STD treatment drugs, crazier things have happened. If it was something her doctor prescribed to her, though, that’s all the comfort I’d need that she’s in good hands, for the current situation.
I agree with UD, though… she’s a grown woman, and has the right to a bit of privacy. Though I’m sympathetic to your concern for her… I know I sure would be if one of my parents was elderly and taking a new medication that didn’t seem to add up.
“in the time she has left”? That’s a nice little sentiment to offer up. Well done. She’s in a retirement home, not a terminal care unit.