905 faces off against the 416 in fashion battle
They walk among us to learn our language and customs. They could even be in the next cubicle. They’re everywhere, and nothing can be done about it. That’s right; despite our best efforts, 905ers are infiltrating the city’s chicest restaurants and clubs unbeknownst to downtowners, writes Kim Izzo in her latest column for the Star, which chronicles her move from downtown to uptown.
Since November, Izzo has been documenting the pains of moving north as if she’s dealing with a terminal illness or moving to the other side of the world (Richmond Hill, to be exact). Now that she’s fully integrated into suburban society, she feels that 905ers get a bad rap from their downtown counterparts, who think people living north of Bloor have big hair, fake tans and souped-up cars. (When did Markham become Jersey Shore?)
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there’s little point for downtown elitists to avoid trendy restaurants and bars on weekends,” she writes. “Many 905ers work downtown, and we get out during the week, too. That’s right; we silently infiltrate the same so-hip-it-hurts hot spots on a Tuesday or Wednesday.”
Izzo also packs extra clothes and makeup in the event of spontaneous invites to downtown parties, meaning “416ers probably don’t know that the well-dressed couple at the next table at Cinq 01 actually live in a place like Richmond Hill.”
District 905: the invasion has already started. Be afraid.