10 of the best Toronto-based missed connections on Craigslist right now
In an age when love is as easy to find by swiping right, a surprising amount of people look to Craigslist—even though the odds that one specific fish in the sea will read their post are next to zero. We’d like to give these hopeful romantics a hand. If you recognize yourself (or someone you know) in one of these missed connections, there’s still hope. Click on the relevant link to find love.
Kitchen Table, Atrium on Bay (m4w)
“We both saw the hot deal for $1.99 shelf-stable parmesan on Friday the 13th.
Me: Just landed back in Toronto/super jet-lagged/wearing a t-shirt with a Blue Jay smoking a joint and green camouflage cargo pants/holding an LCBO paper bag full of beers and a plastic bag of takeaway food.
You: Beautiful smile/black hat/red pants/also holding an LCBO paper bag with unknown contents/possibly eating shelf-stable parmesan at home right now.
If you are reading this, I’d love to see you again. Reply with what we discussed regarding parmesan so I know it’s you.”
Subway, Bloor and Danforth (w4m)
“About a week ago, I was on the eastbound bloor-danforth line (past 6pm is all I can remember). What seemed like a homeless gentleman was loudly eating their dinner on the train and unexpectedly threw, what I think was a half-eaten apple, on me from across the subway car. I think you waited around my side of the car, watching out for the guy and making sure he didn’t do anything too weird or get too aggressive. You gave me a small smile on your way out. I appreciated that!”
FreshCo, Parkdale (m4w)
“You apologized for getting in my way with your cart, but we both knew I was the one who decided to take the 1-foot gap instead of the 6-foot one. You had a big black hoodie with a “B” on the back, and like a thousand bananas. I bake too. That seemed like a good interaction. I still haven’t seen Bladerunner. Get at me.”
Poutini’s, Queen and Dovercourt (w4m)
“You sat with me outside Poutini’s on Queen Street at 3am while I was yelling at my dumb drunk friend over the phone. I was wearing piglet ears but you insisted they were bunny ears (you’re wrong). Someone threw a can of ginger ale at us and I was very upset about it. I wish you had continued to flirt with me.”
“You and your friends came up to the table to look at and touch the seal skin. We talked about Indigenous issues and Inuit seal and whale hunts. I showed you the polar bear skull and talked about why I volunteer at the ROM. You were really pretty and “half drunk” which was cute. Didn’t know how to ask you out cause I was working. Did you see what I told you to check out in Egypt?”
Queer Slow Dance: Folloween Edition, Dovercourt House (m4t)
“I was in drag. You were an adorable sweet Shriner. Just wanted to say I really enjoyed our dance.”
Don Mills and Sheppard (m4w)
“At 10:15pm on Saturday, November 4th, I spoke to you in the middle of the crosswalk at Don Mills and Sheppard. I noticed your teeth, I commented on your fangs, you gave me a smile, I drove off as you walked away to get onto the TTC. As I drove away, I was blown away by your smile and I want to know more about you. Message me, so I can know more about you.”
“I was going to e-mail you, but then POOF! Your post was gone. My guess is that you were overwhelmed by the responses you received and/or immediately suffered CCER (Craigslist Casual Encounters Remorse… I hope you’re recovering well!) Nonetheless, I too have an affinity for cognac and am partial to whiskey. I’d really be interested to see if we could take on Kim Jong-il for the Hennessy consumption record. I’m so down to play Jenga, but my only condition is that we play for “World Champion” bragging rights! Ever been to Snakes & Lattes?
Shot in the Dark”
Falcon and Firkin, Richmond Hill (m4w)
“You: Dressed up as Billy the Puppet from Saw, looking absolutely amazing.
Me: Absolutely mesmerized by you.
You were standing in front of me and I was sitting in the booth directly behind you wearing a hat turned back with the word “LOVE” stitched on it. I’m hoping you or someone that knows you reads this and can give me any info as to who you are and if you’re single. Our eyes locked on each other quite a few times and I wanted to introduce myself. I’d love to connect with you. Tell me what costume the DJ was wearing so that I know it’s you.”
Bay Adelaide Centre parking garage (m4w)
“I thought about you a few times yesterday. I wish I had the good sense to stop and talk a little more, or offer to carry your penguin. You are a jaw-dropping fox.”