115 dB
SCREAMING BABY

Satori Supper Club
85.8 dB
The vibe: King Street on Queen West. The champagne- sipping condo crowd invades hipster territory.
The volume: Stock up on lozenges and bring your earplugs. After 10:30, you’ll have to shout over Dance Mix 2007.
Perfect for: Bachelors on the prowl. With the music at full blast, there’s no need to waste time on pickup lines.

85 db
HAIR DRYER

Marben
83.1 dB
The vibe: Chic and cheerful.
The volume: After 10, an in-house DJ compels diners to dance in their seats.
Perfect for: The calorie-conscious—serious post-meal booty shaking burns off molten chocolate cake in no time.

82 dB
RUSH-HOUR TRAFFIC

Foxley
80.2 dB
The vibe: Minimal decor suits the neighbourhood mantra: “I’m not trying to be hip, I just am.”
The volume: A small room full of big personalities debating the pros and cons of gentrification. Be prepared to use your outside voice—if you can get a table.
Perfect for: Dinner and drinks with friends before moving on to another deafening Ossington drink house.

80 dB
VACUUM CLEANER

Terroni Adelaide
77 dB
The vibe: Old World style in the downtown core.
The volume: As busy as the Spanish Steps during tourist season, but if you wanted to eat pizza in silence, you should have called 967.
Perfect for: Wine-fuelled after-work socializing, so long as your co-workers aren’t strong, silent types.