The Bachelor Canada Recap, episode 5: meeting the parents
Wow, things are getting serious all of a sudden. It seems like only yesterday you were watching 10 girls perform terribly awkward cabaret routines, and now you’re making hometown visits? For some reason this particular rung on the Bachelor ladder (meeting parents and adorable babies and such) really tugs at our heartstrings. We dare say you’ve never been more adorable than when you were holding Kara’s sister’s baby—but this letter isn’t about praising you, Brad. It’s about offering advice on the life-altering decisions you’re making. So here goes.
We knew Gabby wasn’t getting that rose, so let’s not waste time on her other than to say that it’s nice that she volunteers with senior citizens and her hair is like a beautiful chocolate river.
Now for the girls who are left. We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the best option for you is adorable, outdoorsy Kara. She’s sweet and giggly, and seems to be your match on so many levels. We’re worried though—during your date you asked Kara if it bothered her that you two were so similar, which sounds a lot like you’re setting the mental groundwork for her future dismissal.
Bianka is opening up quite a bit. I mean good golly she even told you what her favourite flavour of ice cream is. (A note to you both: our favourite flavour is mint chip too, so maybe we should all marry each other!) But again, you’re not going to pick Bianka, are you? You’re going to pick Cruella.
In fact, this whole show has felt like a bit of a ruse—it’s pretty clear that Whitney’s had you in her demonic clutches since that first night. Could her face have been any more scowly during that insanely uncomfortable family dinner? Again we say she’s in it to win it, and will not make your sweet, charming, baby-loving heart happy in the long run, Brad. Our guess is we’re not alone here. (Just to prove it, we invite all Bachelor Canada fans to vote on who Brad should end up with, below.)
No doubt you noticed that when Gabby got the boot she gave both Kara and Bianka big hugs goodbye (do those three almost look like triplets, or is it just us?), and then totally ignored Whitney. You do NOT want to marry the girl who gets left out of the group hug.
—XO Your Fairy Love Mothers
P.S. Most people wouldn’t describe a full-body Lycra suit as “flattering.” Never change, Brad.