Skins recap, episode 9: the show that gets high school right—except when it doesn’t

This week’s episode finally fills us in on the illicit (never mind totally illegal) relationship between Chris and teacher Tina. And while the after-school special fan in us loves a good hot-for-teacher plotline—they’re all the rage these days, according to Entertainment Weekly—this one felt really uncertain about what it wanted to be. Funny bits like Chris handing in an essay entitled “How I’m Going To Bone You Tonight” didn’t quite jibe with more serious scenes, like the one where Tina is arrested for rape. This lack of identity has been Skins problem all along; ridiculous characters like Dave, Tina and that weird girl taking all the pictures make it unclear whether the show is trying to paint a real picture of high school or parody it. As always, here is our weekly reality roundup of what passes the reality test and what feels faker than teacher Tina’s trout pout.

FO SHIZ: Skins gets it right

• While on ecstasy, two straight characters Cadie and Michelle engage in sexy “look at us!” lesbian antics on the dance floor.

• Michelle still likes Tony, even though he cheated, lied and made her look like an idiot (and passed the clap around campus). Every school has a Tony and Michelle—the couple that will always get back together.

BULLSHIZ: Skins gets it wrong

• The entire relationship between Tina and her age-appropriate neighbour was one big bullshiz-o-rama. Mostly, we’d like to call attention to the almost-sex scene in the car. The one where he smugly tells her: “I’m 30 years old. I don’t want to have sex in a strip-mall parking lot.” Um, he’s 30, not 80, and last time we checked, guys who take girls to burger joints aren’t so choosy.

• Tina is surprised when the cops arrest her for statutory rape. In this post–Mary Kay Letourneau world, there is just no way she didn’t know what she was getting into.

• A cop asks Chris to “show me where she touched you” and hands him a baby doll wearing a dress. We get that this is a technique used on children who are too young or damaged to understand what sex is, but in Chris’s case, we’re not buying it. This is a perfect example of a scene where we had no idea if the writers were being facetious or just inaccurate.