Why Jack White has no film career in his future

Why Jack White has no film career in his future

Jack White (Photo by Christopher Harte) 

Jack White only looks like a man just waiting to be immortalized by Johnny Depp. In the press conference for Emmett Malloy’s tour documentary, The White Stripes Under Great White Northern Lights, the vampire-hued rock god emerged as his own image maker. Doing 90 per cent of the talking, White spoke about his directorial ambitions (he just did a video for the band The Dead Weather and would like to do films if they weren’t so darn time consuming) and control-freakish impulses (the color red on the film poster had to be “his” red; the editing seems to have been done by a royal “we”).

Asked if he’d do more acting, he kidded: “Free Jack 2 was just offered to me—out 2012.” In seriousness, he mumbled the usual about waiting for the right time and project. But isn’t acting redundant, anyway, for someone so in character?

Now that we think about it, we’d rather White cast Depp than be played by him. Just one problem: White says he “can’t have fake conversations” and would rather not say anything than participate in shallow, meaningless talk (our paraphrase). Umm. We speak from nine days of immersion in the world’s shallowest pool. No bullshit? There goes your film career, dude.