50 Cent was performing on a roof but all we got was a leer from Harvey Weinstein

50 Cent was performing on a roof but all we got was a leer from Harvey Weinstein

We would have expected the Vanity Fair party, at the Hazelton Hotel’s One, to be ripe with top-tier talent but instead there was only a white-haired Graydon Carter, the Canadian editor-in-chief of the magazine, and bushy eyebrowed Michael Budman, founder of Roots. Tweets tell us that Amy Poehler was there earlier. The DJ had an impressive set list but everyone was too blasé or depleted to dance. Most impressive part of the event? A 15-litre bottle of Moet and Chandon chilling on ice.

Across the street, Amber hosted The Invention of Lying after-party with Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner and Rob Lowe (see red carpet photos from the premiere here). We were miffed when the publicist wouldn’t let us in but felt less offended after watching Cameron Bailey, TIFF co-director, struggle at the door and have to repeat his name twice. Meandering up to Spice Room to check out the Harvey Weinstein bash, we saw a very scrawny Michael Cera looking ever so pedestrian on Avenue Road. He had just left the lame event, which was hosted in a vacuous room with zero atmosphere.

Starting to assume that hump day is a tiresome lull mid-fest (or perhaps adults aren’t meant to party five nights in a row), we thought Nikki Beach at the Park Hyatt was worth a shot. The lines that had formed this past weekend had disappeared, and last night anyone (and everyone) was allowed in, including the gum-smacking, sneaker-wearing loud mouths that we had the pleasure of riding the elevator with. Nikki Beach is new to the festival this year, and we’ve decided that what works in Cannes doesn’t necessarily translate well at TIFF; Nikki Beach is an intolerable, brash club. Feeling somewhat lacking in a juicy tale to share on TIFF.TO we wandered to the Four Seasons to go to the bathroom and crossed paths with Weinstein, who gave us quite the leer. Fed up with our luck, we click-clacked in broken heels to find food and received this text: “Zing! Standing on a rooftop waiting for 50 cent.” With no indication where, we decided to quit the hunt for fun and head home.

Turns out we were contemplating the benefits of chicken salad over a soggy BLT at Rabbi on Charles Street while 50 Cent was raising the roof, oh, 20 feet away, at the Manulife Centre’s Panorama. Damn it!