Dear Urban Diplomat: how can I repair my reputation after eating from the food bank box at work?

Dear Urban Diplomat: how can I repair my reputation after eating from the food bank box at work?

Dear Urban Diplomat
(Image: karen2754) 

Dear Urban Diplomat,
I was working late recently and skipped dinner, so I thought it would be okay to take a box of Cheerios from the food bank box in the lobby (and replace it the next day, of course). Well, someone must have seen me, because word soon circulated that I stole from the hungry. My reputation has been ruined over toasted oats! How can I repair it?
—Caught Snacking, RICHMOND HILL

Cheeriogate damage control strategy, step 1: should anyone muster the nerve to ask you about it directly, laugh, explain that you replaced the box the next morning and hope that your explanation goes viral. Step 2: give copiously and conspicuously. The next time several of your colleagues are gathered in the lobby, dump an arm load of non-perishables into the hamper. Step 3: donate to a charity like The Stop or Daily Bread in your colleagues’ names and tuck the charitable receipts into their holiday cards as gifts. That way, the only thing they can accuse you of is neurotic, over-compensatory altruism. Step 4: take extra care not to get soused at the Christmas party, climb onto a table and declare your innocence.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com