Dear Urban Diplomat: What should I do when my neighbour throws an obnoxiously loud house party?

Dear Urban Diplomat: What should I do when my neighbour throws an obnoxiously loud house party?

Urban Diplomat: Grrrl Next Door (Image: David Domingo)
 

Dear Urban Diplomat,
A new couple on my block dropped by recently to introduce themselves. They said they were planning a house-warming party, and I assumed they wanted to invite me. But then they said they were just letting me know it would probably go late and be loud. First of all, isn’t it rude to tell someone about a party without invi­ting them? And second, does announcing one’s plans to be obnoxiously loud make it okay to behave like extras from Animal House, which they did, until about 4 a.m.?
—Grrrrl Next Door, Etobicoke

If it was a party for the couple’s friends, you don’t qualify, so get over the non-invite. If, however, everyone else on the block was invited, then some self-reflection is in order: do kids bypass your place on Halloween? Do neighbours avoid eye contact at the grocery store? Do you own multiple Ouija boards? If the answer to any of the above is yes, you’re the problem, and rehabilitating your reputation requires more space than we have here. As for the second issue: raging until dawn is what the club district is for, and since you don’t live beside Cheval, a call to the noise police would be justified. But I’d hold off. If the shindigs become a weekly tradition, dial the police’s non-emergency line, and a cop should drop by within a few hours. Make sure to ask that they keep your name out of it—otherwise there’ll be no confusion as to why you’re not invited to the next bash.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com