The Sarah Thomson mayoral campaign songbook: a guide

The Sarah Thomson mayoral campaign songbook: a guide

(Image: YouTube/Screenshot) (Image: YouTube/Screenshot)
 

Mayoral candidate Sarah Thomson, whose dreadlocks grow more impressive by the day, released a third music video late last week. Here, for the sake of anyone looking for a gradual introduction to Toronto’s potential future overlord, is a rundown of her musical output, arranged from least to most terrible.


Least terrible: “Transit Parody of Timber

The Good: The rap segments—done by someone identified in Thomson’s press release as “White Kanye”—are okay. In general, the song works well enough as an homage to the Kesha/Pitbull original.

The Bad: If there was any doubt that lyric videos are clichéd, here’s the proof.

The Ugly: The song’s refrain is “swing your partner round and round,” which is a weirdly square-dancey lyric to pair with a super-cool hip-hop parody. That and other embarrassing moments tend to undermine the pro-subway message.


More terrible: “Sarah Thomson’s Stompa—The Underground Mix”

The Good: Thomson comes off pretty well during the final 30 seconds of the video, by which point the singing is mercifully over and she’s just talking into the camera about her subway plan.

The Bad: The song—a parody version of the Serena Ryder original—comes off as an extended whine. “Think of LRTs under the ground,” Thomson sings at one point. “You don’t even want to try.”

The Ugly: Thomson seems to have filmed the video on an in-service TTC subway, and so the background is full of passengers determinedly avoiding eye contact with the weird lip-syncing lady. Also, campaigning on the subway is against TTC rules.


Most terrible: “Broken”

The Good: The actual content of the video isn’t the worst. Thomson makes a few appearances, but it’s mostly people holding up pro-transit signs intercut with images of a car being smashed by demolition equipment.

The Bad: It opens with a clip of someone taking a massive bong hit, for no apparent reason.

The Ugly: Of all the music videos, this one is the most reliant on Thomson’s vocals. Let’s put it this way: her singing isn’t going to win her any votes.