Missing questions from the TTC’s new passenger-audit forms

Missing questions from the TTC’s new passenger-audit forms

Mind the crap: the TTC wants to hear from riders (Image: Danielle Scott) 

As part of an apparent shift towards acknowledging its shortcomings, the TTC is inviting riders to come out and Wall Street Journal their most frequently used subway stations. The program, which was unveiled this week by TTC vice chair Joe Mihevc, allows passengers to download and fill out a questionnaire form, the results of which will be presented to TTC staff in a report. The document addresses such crucial questions as “Is there excessive dirt?” and “What do you think you can do as a passenger to improve the safety, quality of ride, and cleanliness of this station?” We felt what was most curious was what was missing. Here, our amendments to the TTC passenger audit questionnaire.

1. How impaired was your TTC operator?
a. Twelfth-step sober
b. Tipsy, but not enough to get charged or anything
c. Merely impaired on doctor-prescribed medication

2. When asked a question (e.g., “Will this bus take me where I’m going?”) how irritated was the TTC employee?
a. Total pushover
b. An understandable level of irritation
c. Blonde Dragon

3. Did your TTC operator find enough time for leisure activities while on the job?
a. Yes, he/she ran out to Country Style for a coffee
b. Yes, he/she took a nap
c. Yes, he/she tried to pick me up

4. How pimped out was your ride?
a. It had a useful bike rack that was totally worth $2 million
b. The seats needed replacing
c. It was pimped out to my exact specifications

5. When should TTC employees behave themselves?
a. Only when a passenger is Twitter savvy
b. Only when a passenger is taking photos
c. Only when a passenger is shooting video for YouTube