Get a sneak peek at Philip Preville’s Toronto Life September issue cover story “Exodus to the Burbs”
Brian Porter and Carrie Low thought they’d hatched the perfect plan to avoid the eight-lane gridlock they faced every week on their drive to the family cottage in the Kawarthas. Porter, a soft-spoken 41-year-old Toronto firefighter, would arrange his work schedule to be home on Friday. He’d pack the car at noon and pick up his daughters, Lily and Amelia, from daycare shortly after lunch. Then, rather than head from their home in the Beach to pick up Low downtown, he’d drive to a strategic pit stop in Oshawa. Low, a slim 41-year-old redhead, works as a lawyer with RBC in the financial district, her days and nights packed, respectively, with meetings and paperwork. Her role in the escape plan was to get off work early and catch the GO train to Oshawa Station. Often, she’d end up working a pressure-packed day until 5 p.m. anyway, leaving Porter and the girls waiting at the station for hours. In the end they never gained that much time—it could still be a challenge to get to the cottage before nightfall. But at least they’d avoided the worst hours on the DVP and the 401.
Porter and Low’s weekend escape strategy was symptomatic of their over-engineered city lives. To juggle all their needs and obligations—two careers, mortgage payments, bills, kid drop-offs and pickups, groceries, meals—they had built a life that resembled a Rube Goldberg machine, and any misstep threatened to collapse the entire contraption. Grandparents were often called in to shuttle the kids to lessons and play dates and birthday parties. “My mother-in-law would phone me at work and ask, ‘Where is Amelia’s dance outfit?’ and my stress level would go through the roof, ” recalls Low. “I’d say, ‘Why are you calling me at work for this? It’s in the house somewhere. Don’t ask me, ask Brian.’”
The problem, they decided, was not each other or their careers or their kids, but the city itself—a surprising diagnosis given that they had both grown up in Toronto, happily, in the Beach. They bought their 1,600-square-foot detached home on Benlamond because they wanted to raise their family there, too. But living in the city required too many contortions. They decided to divorce it.
Good, go!!
Yeah, I read the article – when he’s in the big city he litters, walks and drives like a jerk because he’s anonymous. Sorry, but how you act when you’re anonymous is your true personality – this guy must be a treat when he’s vacationing. Good riddance!
Don’t let the door hit you …
There are good & bad people everywhere…Life is what you make of it, and if the place you reside is bringing out your ugly side, well that’s easy, leave…I say good for you for taking that step and moving forward.
Where you live does NOT define who you are as a person.
Sadly, the people who are moving to these towns are the ones who are spoiling it for everyone – including themselves. We moved to an older neighbourhood in Milton back when it was still a small town of 30,000. And yes, it took a while to get used to strangers actually making eye contact or even (gasp!) saying ‘Good morning!’ as they passed on the sidewalk.
Now of course, Milton is a bloated exurb of nearly 90,000, and nobody in those new developments would piss on your house if it was on fire. They didn’t flee the city for the warm, friendly neighbours – they fled so they wouldn’t have to have actual contact with anyone different from themselves ever again.
We moved to Toronto from Pickering 4 years ago and so far haven’t looked back. Pickering is typical of many suburbs – large homes on small lots with few community amenities. We actually spend less time in the car now because of the proximity to stores and restaurants, and have become younger at heart. Certainly not for everyone but it’s working for us now.
It’s obvious the author of this piece is clueless when it comes to Toronto.
Looking out from his airplane on his first foray outside the iron curtain, as a young apparatchik of the defunct Soviet Union, Mikhail Gorbachev was struck by the endless miles of suburbs stretching from San Francisco to San Jose to Sacramento. The next day he had his chauffeur drive for hours through curvy residential streets. A few days later he hired a helicopter to get a look at back yards, shopping malls, freeways, industrial parks. Twenty years later the Cold War was over.
Unfortunately for Gorby, if you look at Google satellite, Moscow and St. Petersburg are still surrounded by hectares of cubic gray three-story no-elevator pre-1970 apartment blocks, now complemented by L-shaped and I-shaped eight-story ones. Sure, there are a few luxurious estates out-of-town for the well-connected, but no sprawling subdivisions of duplexes and single-family dwellings, i.e. no robust middle class.
The relative size of suburbs says something about a society’s ability to generate and distribute wealth. India, the world’s largest democracy, is rapidly growing its own version of suburbs. China, despite all its wealth, is unable. It remains a country with just a few million rich people, a billion very poor ones, and no peaceful political means of rectifying that. Probably 65% of the world’s population would describe Toronto-area suburbs as heaven on Earth. Another 30% would describe them as a nice place to live. I find it hilariously and insular-ly Canadian that we would even debate the merits of suburbs.
Toronto has long failed to manage urban sprawl, which has stretched services thinly across too wide an area.
People are forced into cars when they live beyond reasonable transit service. Try standing at a bus stop in the suburbs, hauling groceries, after work, in January.
But, too many suburbanites still work in (and depend on) “the city” for their livelihoods. And, especially for those who’ve quit the 416 for the 905 and have taken their property tax support out of 416, they still put wear and tear on 416 roads, and then complain about construction.
How did the 401 become the busiest highway in North America when cities like New York and Los Angeles (that doesn’t even have a subway) are twice as big? http://torontomyway.blogspot.com/2010/01/choking-on-congestion-talk_07.html
And, statistics show urbanites are healthier than suburbanites http://torontomyway.blogspot.com/2010/05/health-and-city.html Which makes sense, doesn’t it? After all, everything is about the car in the suburbs, while urban dwelling supports not only choice but healthier choices, such as walking, cycling, or using public transit. How about using Bixi? http://torontomyway.blogspot.com/2010/05/bixi.html, http://torontoist.com/2011/05/bixi_toronto_is_here.php Would that fly in the suburbs?
It ought to go without saying that the total cost of an overburdened health care system could be reduced for everyone if people got healthier, and it is easier to get – or stay – healthy in the city. This family who was stressed out – because their weekly drive to their cottage required so much administration – are part of a privileged minority; most Torontonians don’t have the luxury of the “problem” of how to get to and from a cottage every week. Good for them, if moving out to 905 reduces their stress but, on the whole,
as indicated in the research, the urban encouragement and access to healthier choices provide the stress-busters that car-trapped commuters simply don’t have.
Christopher Hume has a great article on density that continues to build on the knowledge we really do have about what makes urban living sustainable, and suburban living unsustainable http://www.thestar.com/columnists/article/887233
Why not discover the joys of the city by walking or, as Hume calls it, the lost art of “strolling”? http://torontomyway.blogspot.com/2010/01/walk-walk.html
Toronto My Way
To me the main flaw in this article is describing these small towns as “suburbs”. This goes to show the writer has yet to leave behind his “centre of the universe” Toronto mentality.
Dundas and Creemore are certainly not suburbs of Toronto.
We moved our family from Toronto’s east end to Kitchener-Waterloo 5 years ago because the price of real estate would have had a negative effect on our family (two full time working parents, day care, no holidays, struggling to get by, etc.) and while we miss some things about the city, including the wonderful restaurants, it has been an overwhelming positive experience for our family and my career. I’ve started a thriving business since moving to the 519.
We fell smack-dab in the middle of the writer’s “no way, we’re urban” mentality, and our friends were appalled on the whole, but believe me, South-Western Ontario has a whole lot more to offer than the GTA, we’re very happy with our move to downtown Kitchener.
It seems to me, as a regular visitor and ex-pat of Toronto, that long-term, the city is only viable for the childless or uber-rich. This is too bad, but maybe a reality of larger cities.
Not to change the subject, but I’ll do it anyway — Toronto My Way should perhaps be aware that Los Angeles does indeed have a subway / light rail network that’s growing by the year. And people are riding it. A link between Downtown and the beach in Santa Monica is half-way done. Beverly Hills is getting some stops on the extension of the Wilshire line. Times change….
http://www.metro.net/riding_metro/maps/images/rail_map_future.gif
Strange article to be on the cover of Toronto Life. Also I think it is clear that the opposite is happening. Toronto is becoming significantly more dense as a city, most people are not deserting the city. Nevertheless Toronto is certainly is not for everyone and I wish the author good luck. The piece was clearly an attempt on his part to justify a difficult liife decision that he was having dificulty coming to terms with. Very weak piece overall, with a few random interviews to justify his point, which he was clearly struggling with.
Tiresome, self-absorbed wiener decides to inflict his douchebaggery Peterborough, pretends this represents a trend of some kind, convinces gullible Toronto Life underlings likewise, sells yet another version of a hackneyed cliche that appears in TL about every 36 months. Elderly controlled-circulation TL recipients yawn at cover, fail to read story. And so it goes.
@TOLA, thx for the correction, I definitely should be aware of LA’s system and now I am, thanks to you.
As you mention that it’s “growing by the year” and that “people are riding it,” I’d hasten to argue that its coverage and growth both put TTC to shame. It’s quite likely that the LA Metro – in addition to the road network – directly help control the sheer number of cars that have to be on the road.
Compare their airport access http://www.metro.net/riding_metro/maps/images/airport_map.pdf vs. ours http://www3.ttc.ca/Riding_the_TTC/Airport_service.jsp, http://www.torontopearson.com/en/toandfrom/ and its easy to see how behind we are.
While my facts stood some correction, the point I was making is only stronger – the good that Toronto offers is being mismanaged chiefly by poor planning.
As others have mentioned: I wonder about someone who litters, etc. when he’s anonymous. Obviously he didn’t see himself as part of Toronto The Good at all. No matter where you live you have to spend some time thinking of the greater good and not just what you can get away with. I moved to Toronto 15 years ago (from Vancouver) and have found it to quite a friendly, inclusive place. My home. And because of that, I don’t litter when no-one is watching. ;)
Wow. It’s shocking yet not surprising to see the vitriol posted in the comments section here. Firstly, I fit neatly into the demographic interviewed for this article: life long Torontonian, early 40’s, two kids, paid top dollar for a semi in the Beach where I grew up with a postage stamp for a back yard and was unfortunately privy to most of the goings on on the other side of the semi wall. Growing up in Hogtown, I enjoyed the sights, sounds and experience that my beloved city had to offer. But I have slowly come to the realization that it’s not my city anymore, for all the reasons discussed. Do I litter? Not on your life but I don’t remember litter being a problem until the past 10 years. Cycle through the Don and up by the apartments at the bottom of Don Mills for an unfortunate eyefull. I remember when people were actually courteous on the TTC, now it’s me first and everyone for themselves. I cycled to work for exercise and to avoid the TTC, but gasholes driving cars only care about themselves and idle in the pathetically few bike lanes. The average commute is the highest in North America. Things are getting generally worse. Tee off on this author if you will, it’s your right. But he is only describing symptoms. There’s a disease at the heart of our once beautiful city and there’s absolutely no vision or plan to address the great problems faced by The Big Smoke. If you’d take your heads out of the sand long enough to see it, you might not be so vitriolic.
Having grown up in Ajax/Pickering, I’m here to say that it is definitely not always sunny in the 905. Being the cultural wasteland it is most teens pretty much spent their time hanging at the Mcdonald’s or the Mall, all the while being strung out from huffing glue or whatever noxious household substances they could find. My time living in the 905 I’ve had two random attempts at kidnappings on myself while waiting for the GO bus, had some idiot flash his flaccid privates at me when I was 11, and had black friends who would be ritually beaten by the local police, with no recourse, this way before Rodney King so one can understand how terrifying a predicament it would be. Living in T.O. for the past 15 years I’ve only had ONE break-in for a measly XBOX, and that was commited by someone I knew!
Well, the Toronto I know is a much different place from what has been depicted in this article. I live in Parkdale, and when I walk down the street and pass someone by, we do smile and say good day. I suppose if you smile and make eye contact, so does the other person – surprise! The neighbors stand around and chat and compare what’s growing in their front and back yards, ask about the family. We shovel each other’s front walks if they need a hand. There are Polish and Portuguese and Tibetan and Italian communities living side by side, with great restaurants and food markets to match. My house has parks not too far in the N, E and W directions and the lake to the south, all within a short walk or bike ride. The community centre adjacent to my house is always full of happily squealing children playing in the playground and wading pool or full of kids and parents with hockey bags for a game. There is a buzz, a density, and cultural diversity. Kind of idyllic in fact. I’m sure that Cobourg and Dundas are lovely, however this city is what you make of it as well. There are ways to avoid a horrendous commute. There are ways to enjoy a very rich, engaged life downtown. I’m not about to give that up, and I suspect that many people live in Toronto because they love it. The examples of the families and their problems with organizing their lives in the article seem to present a very limited dimension of what it can be like to live downtown.
I felt this article was poorly written and way too biased. It would have been better if it was written from a more balanced perspective. When you are trying to make a point, it comes off much more sincere if you are a bit more neutral in your weighing of the evidence to make that point. The entire thing just feels like a hate-on for toronto, and it even seemed like the writer was kind of jealous of people who were able to stay in Toronto.
Living in Toronto with two kids offers a lifestyle I could never have dreamed possible. We are neither wealthy nor privileged. We simply make use of the incredible amenities Toronto has to offer in our neighborhood and around the city. When we walk to our local street (Roncesvalles) which we do almost everyday, we know most people. It has an incredible small town feel. We have street parties and playdates with our neighbors and we all help eachother i.e. shoveling driveways and sidewalks, bringing in garbage bins, etc.
Toronto is about finding the right neighborhood that suits your needs and works for your family. We have never been happier and it shows in how our kids are developing everyday. The best part is that we are 10 minutes from work. If daycare calls with a sick child, we are there in 10 min to pick them up. School plays or sporting commitments, we don’t need to plan our entire day around a commute to spend time with our children or miss out on the important things in their lives. We’ve simplified our life by choosing to live and play near where we work.
Kudos to the families in the article for finding what works for them. But for those four families featured you could easily find 400 more who wouldn’t give up life in the city for anything!!!
I’ve only read the preview… but I’m still wondering what exactly is frustrating this family so much? trying to schedule daily life? commuting to the cottage? get real.
1996 was the year I left Toronto for Lakefield Ontario just 10 minutes north of Peterborough and 90 minutes to Toronto in the heart of the Kawarthas. Born and raised in Forest Hill you could say I enjoyed a good life and location in the city but after many visits to a friends farm 2 hours outside of Toronto we literally packed up and sold our house in 2 months and moved to greener pastures. Fifteen years later and we couldn’t be happier. It’s not for everyone and it took a year to adjust to the lifestyle but it is better than the hustle and bustle of the city. People are friendlier, the air is cleaner, and the lifestyle is better. While it is a great city, to me Toronto has become overpopulated and a cold city, a concrete jungle. While I do visit Toronto often it’s always good to come home.
How ironic that I haven’t read Toronto life in years and I received this edition in the mail inviting me back. And to the author of this story, welcome to Peterborough I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as we do.
If Toronto Life didn’t take pains to put down Toronto, I’d be surprised. My overwhelming feeling after reading this piece was boredom. Yet another expose on overpriced, superficial, soulless Toronto … The perceived “culture war” is so one-sided that I can’t believe anyone actually believes in it. When friends move to “the suburbs”, we are happy for them. I’m sorry for you that you have so-called friends who question your ability to make good choices for your family and don’t respect you enough to celebrate your move. However, just as we do with child-rearing, we make the best decisions we can and, yes, people always weigh in, even when you haven’t asked for their input.
Torontonians love Montreal, we love the towns and small cities that surround us and delight in visiting them. The level of hostility directed toward Toronto, on the other hand, has always taken me by surprise and saddened me. Living here, we’re happy to celebrate the lovely communities around us and, in return, we are put down as littering, anti-social, selfish, unfriendly, “uber wealthy” etc. etc. We also live in Roncesvalles and enjoy the comeraderie of small-town living. We are not rich. I don’t litter. The shop-owners have seen my son grow and we see people we know everywhere we go. We talk to our neighbours and say hello to passers-by on the street. Our house is small but big enough for us and we can walk around the block to get all of our groceries. I’m happy that I only have a 15 minute commute to work and can avoid using my car altogether if I choose to.
I have a friend who lives on a farm north of the city and always listen to her complaints about city living and, conversely, we are always commenting on the wonderful space, clean air and lifestyle her family enjoys. Why can’t we read a piece that praises the inherent virtues of the author’s chosen lifestyle? The tone of this piece seems to suggest that the virtues of suburban life exist only by contrast to the “evils” of city living. That would be like saying you love your wife because she’s not your horrible ex-girlfriend. I love Toronto for what it is, rather than for what it is not . How about “here I come” rather than “I’m outta here”?
The author of this article has moved to a smaller urban centre, not to the suburbs. It is important that places like Peterborough keep their integrity and are not seen as suburbs of T.O. Perhaps he will take advantage of community activities in his new home in a way he did not in Toronto. His description of what he did with his non-work time in Toronto was perfectly ridiculous. There are so many interesting and varied opportunities in the city that he seems to be unaware of. Too bad. And perhaps he will put more effort into finding community now than he bothered to do in Toronto. Finding the small town within the city is perfectly possible in many parts of Toronto but if you wish to live quite separately you can do that, too. Choice is what it’s all about for me and Toronto offers much more of that than any “suburb” could. I wish him well but it’s poor journalism to misrepresent the target of your displeasure and certainly weakens your argument.
Their complaints sounds pretty weak. What I’m hearing mostly from this article is the relief from mortgage stress; they’ve cashed out at the top of the real estate bubble. The rest just sounds like justifications for their decision after the fact.
This stuff is laughable. I know the one couple. Their quality of life has gone down since leaving. They are reluctant to admit it, but I’ve heard similar complaints from them concerning their new hometown.
Some people like to complain. Oh well. Me? I love it. And it loves me back.
Seems to me the author of this piece missed the point. IF such an exodus is occuring, its simply a demographic shift. The boomers left TO when they had kids for the wide open spaces of the burbs and came back when their kids left home, missing the amenities of the city and hating the commute. Now that THEIR kids are having kids, the same thing is happening. They’ll be back just like their parents and will drive housing prices up again in 20 years just like their parents did. Idiotic article all around.
Coming to this late, I just read the article in the print version…
What this author is describing (overwhelmingly) is “White Flight,” as seen in American cities like Detroit, Buffalo, etc. back in the 70s. When the white middle class pulled up stakes and vacated the inner cities, impoverishing their tax base and opening the door to decline.
It’s notable in this article that none of the families appear to be mixed race or visible minorities. What we have here are a bunch of reasonable wealthy (This family has a cottage in the Kawarthas, this family lived in Playter Estates, that family cashed out on Withrow Ave, etc.) who decided they didn’t like all that icky neighbourhood stuff and moved out of town to take advantage of the cheaper real estate that hasn’t been over-fished, yet.
And I bet the residents of this outlying towns are ecstatic that they’re bringing their money and their tastes out there, buying up the desirable properties and driving up the housing prices for everyone. And thanks for taking the entirely bourgeois option of roasting your own coffee to people who’ve got other, probably more important things to think about.
I certainly hope this outflowing stream doesn’t get any bigger, because I like it here, I CHOSE to live here 20+ years ago, and I want to stay.