Overeducated millennials think they’re too smart to play the lottery

Overeducated millennials think they’re too smart to play the lottery

(Image: MysteryPeople) (Image: MysteryPeople)
 

Ugh. Millennials! Can they do anything correctly? Is there any institution they don’t feel all disaffected toward? They don’t care about traditional banking; they can’t get out of debt; they refuse to engage with brands. Now, in their latest bucking of stuffy Old World convention, millennials aren’t buying enough lottery tickets.

According to the CBC, provincial lottery agencies are banding together “to develop a new national lottery aimed at people under 35.” Statistics provided by the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation indicate that only 13 per cent of Ontarians under 35 buy lottery tickets at least once a week.

Warren Buffet famously called gambling a “tax on ignorance.” It seems like many millennials, all smart and un-ignorant because of their effectively useless Cultural Studies and Mid-Victorian Literature M.A.s, agree. Instead of scratching at tiny treasure chests printed on little pieces of paper, the CBC reports that millennials “get more enjoyment out of surfing the web and filling out online questionnaires on sites such as Buzzfeed, where one recent page asked readers what actress would portray them in a movie of their life.”

Maybe what the province needs to do to pique the interest of millennials is make playing the lotto more, like, ironic. They can call it “The Lottery.” Instead of “Know your limit. Play within it,” the OLG tagline can be something like, “I’m only doing it cos it’s dumb.”

“Ha, can’t wait to win the million,” you sneer, rolling your eyes as you scratch at a retro, pre-faded Wheel Of Fortune ticket with the antique skeleton key you keep on a shoelace around your neck, for some reason.