The Bay Street Tinder Diaries: Dating in the age of the Internet hookup
At 5:30 p.m. on Thursdays, Earls at King and York is roaring. From the surrounding towers, players descend to blow off steam and seal the deal—with clients and that night’s conquest. This is their playground. And Tinder is their Little Black Book
Valerie met “The Suit” on Tinder. She called him that because he was the quintessential 30-something Bay Street guy—handsome, wealthy, confident and married to his job in finance. Valerie, like others I interviewed for this story, spoke on the condition that her real name not be used. She’s in her late 20s and also works in finance. She lives in a downtown condo and often travels internationally for work. Like The Suit, she’s an aggressive, high-functioning, time-strapped professional, and she found that men who worked downtown were more likely to share her pragmatic approach to dating. Plus, these guys were close by. Giving Tinder conquests nicknames helps Valerie and her girlfriends keep track of who’s who during their daily debriefs. It’s also part of the fun. There was Miami Vice (drove a white Range Rover and had a slicked-back ’80s hairdo), Bromeo (who bragged about his designer loafers) and Sweater Vest—a nice guy who took her to the AGO and invited her to a friend’s housewarming party, but ultimately, Valerie didn’t feel a spark. Which is important to her. She says a lot of guys she meets approach dating like an investment, and she checks a lot of boxes—she’s smart, career-driven and a knockout, with Barbie-blond hair and Brooke Shields brows. But if the passion isn’t there, she’s quick to cut things off. With The Suit, chemistry was never a problem. Sometimes they did the typical getting-to-know-you activities—going to the movies, cooking dinner at her condo. But often, their meetings were transactional. And the sex was hot.
For Valerie, the advantage of conducting her sex life through her smartphone is that it allows for maximum productivity with minimal effort. With a series of quick clicks and swipes, she can schedule dates with a new guy, sometimes two, every day—mostly coffees, which are a good way to see if the attraction she feels from a photo measures up in person. If a prospect seems promising, she might agree to a future drink. If not, he’s eliminated from the “roster,” which is the term Valerie and her friends use to describe the collection of Tinder guys they are simultaneously messaging or dating. These women are part of a generation reared on Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer—ambitious, fearless and wildly confident about what they want. They have no time to nurture long-term relationships. The men in their lives are conveniently slotted in for sex—and Tinder is the tool that makes it all happen.
The first time I heard about Tinder was in early 2013, from a friend who works on the trading floors in Toronto. The app didn’t officially launch here until December of that year, but it infiltrated the financial district first, passed along from horny Wall Street bros to their horny Bay Street brethren like a secret fist bump. For those who are unfamiliar with the world’s most popular people connector, here’s a crash course. Tinder was created by a group of 20-something friends working in a start-up incubator in California. It launched on American university campuses in September 2012 and, like Facebook, slowly trickled out into the non-collegiate world. Today it has an estimated 24 million active monthly users, nearly 3 million in Canada, and it’s used primarily by 18- to 34-year-olds. The brilliance of Tinder is its simplicity. It whittles the once-complicated time suck of seeking love online into one explicit question: do you look like someone I might want to have sex with? If the answer is yes, you swipe right. If not, you swipe left, and another possible partner appears on your phone screen. You only get “matched” if the person you expressed interest in reciprocates, which is the second prong in the Tinder success strategy: the absence of rejection, and all of the emotional turmoil and self-loathing that goes with it. So you didn’t get matched, so what? Just keep swiping. Tinder users can evaluate 50 potential partners in the time it might take to have a meaningful in-person interaction with one. It’s an easy fit for a generation that has grown up communicating via text, problem solving with Google, shopping on Amazon, and sharing life’s magical (and not-so-magical) moments through Instagram.
People often use the expression “playing Tinder,” illustrating the extent to which the quest for companionship has become a pastime: they use the app because they’re bored, because they want a quick ego boost, because they can’t get to sleep or because the line at the bank is taking forever. And they use it because smartphones have become a fifth limb. (There’s even a modern malady called nomophobia, which is short for no-mobile-phobia, to describe the deep psychological attachment people have to their phones.) Tinder uses your phone’s location services to allow you to set your “dating radius” as close as one kilometre. That feature was pinched from Grindr, the successful gay hookup app founded on the basic idea that casual sex, like real estate, is all about location. Data collected by students at Indiana University about Tinder shows that young, straight people feel the same way: matches made within one mile of each other are 54 per cent more likely to result in a meetup. That percentage drops by half with every additional mile.
Tinder is most popular in young, urban hubs—concentrated areas where people live and work and party. In Toronto, this means the downtown core, which over the last decade has become a nexus of shiny towers filled with one-bedroom condos aimed at SINKs and DINKs (single- or double-income, no kids) who walk to work, eat out three meals a day and put in 60-hour work weeks. People in their 20s and 30s make up half of the downtown population. It’s a highly skilled, highly educated group that’s out-earning the rest of Toronto by an increasingly high margin: in 1990, the average person living in the downtown core—between Yonge and Simcoe, and Queen and Front—made $45,623 a year (158 per cent more than the average person in the GTA). By 2012 the average income had more than tripled to $157,909, which shakes out to three and a half times the metropolitan average. Meanwhile, the landscape has evolved to better serve the frenzy of disposable incomes and insatiable appetites, morphing over the past few years from the land of the three-martini power lunch into a no-limits party megaplex—Candyland for the suit and tie set.
The bigger, bolder downtown scene kicked off in early 2011 with the opening of Earls at the corner of King and York. It’s a western import, known for its big burgers and attractive servers, so it’s no surprise that for the first few months, the clientele was made up mostly of young men from Bay Street. While their elders concealed wedding-band tans down the block at Bymark, the next gen swiftly turned the Earls patio into the city’s most reliable destination for debauchery—a stew of booze, boosterism and pheromones. In 2012, the decades-old power lunch institution Reds introduced a more casual revamp, with the goal of attracting this younger clientele. A year later, The Chase and Drake One Fifty opened their doors—the latter tipping its hat to the new neighbourhood by changing the name of its house wine from Starving Artist (as it’s called at the Queen West flagship) to Fat Banker. Last year came Speakeasy 21, a sprawling Prohibition-themed cocktail bar in the Scotia Plaza, and America, the Donald-endorsed ode to gluttony housed on the 31st floor of the Trump Hotel. And before 2015 is out, the Cactus Club Café will open in the prestigious First Canadian Place building. Like Earls, it’s another chain from the west known primarily for its sexy wait staff and showy wine lists. All of these places bill themselves as restaurants, and it’s true that they all serve good food, but culinary merit is beside the point, particularly on Wednesdays and Thursdays (the Bay Street weekend), when they fill up like Irish pubs on St. Paddy’s Day. By 5:15, getting a seat can be impossible, which is why interns are often sent down around 3 p.m. to secure the best real estate. People go to unwind (i.e., get hammered), do business (i.e., get hammered on the company credit card) and socialize (i.e., hook up). That last endeavour has become easier than ever post-Tinder, which is particularly well tailored to a world where efficiency, adrenalin and closing the deal—whether it’s a multimillion-dollar merger or a quick boink in the bathroom—are the unofficial religion. “It’s just insane how drunk these people get,” says one Earls server I spoke with. She has seen people puke on the bar, and says there’s often evidence of sex and drug use in the bathrooms. Earls even has suited bouncers subtly patrolling the lounge floor during the after-work frenzy. Spurning the advances of horny Bay Streeters is all in a day’s work for the servers. “Let’s put it this way,” the server adds. “If I had to choose between dating a professional hockey player and dating someone on Bay Street, I would pick the hockey player.”
About a year after Tinder launched, one of its co-founders, Justin Mateen, gave a controversial interview in which he explained how women “aren’t wired” to enjoy casual sex, and therefore it was wrong to label Tinder as a hookup app. Nearly two years later, it seems clear that Mateen—who stepped down as CMO last fall following allegations of sexual harassment by his former girlfriend and co-founder of the company—was as confused about the core identity of his product as he was about the women who use it.
So-called “female wiring” was the subject of a recent study at the University of Ottawa. Polling more than 500 women about their motivations for intercourse, researchers were able to contradict Mateen’s age-old, gender-specific assumption—that indiscriminate sex is a biological imperative for men, whereas women connect sex and desire with feelings about intimacy, companionship and stability. The data showed that single women have casual relations “because it feels good,” because they are “horny,” and because a hot man is a terrible thing to waste. Heather Armstrong, the human sexuality researcher who headed up the Ottawa study, says she was surprised by the extent to which the physical reasons for casual sex were paramount. “I think a big part of it is that women are feeling more entitled to express themselves sexually, attitudes are changing and it’s not so much of a taboo,” she says. When I ask whether Tinder is the chicken or the egg when it comes to a rise in sexually liberated young women, she says it’s likely both: “These apps have certainly addressed an existing demand, but they have also encouraged the behaviour by making it so normal and easy. People see their friends on apps like Tinder. It just isn’t a big deal.”
A lawyer friend of mine says this applies directly to hooking up on Bay Street. “It was always a meat market, and Tinder has only made that expression more literal.” And that applies to married people, too. “Think about who gets to be wealthy in this world,” says Noel Biderman, the CEO and founder of Ashley Madison, the Toronto-based website for people looking to have sex outside of their relationships. “For the most part, it’s a risk taker. If you’re a risk taker in your business life, you’re more likely to be a risk taker in your personal life.” Over the years, he has learned that there is no greater predictor of infidelity than affluence. People with lots of money become obsessed with the trappings—the houses, the fancy cars, the trips, the toys. Is it any wonder they want the same shiny-new-toy factor in their sex lives? “Nobody has come up with a word for the male mistress yet,” he says, but this unnamed phenomenon (the manstress? The histress?) is a notable new trend from the demographic data that Ashley Madison collects to better understand its customer base. Turns out just as many financially successful women as men approach monogamy with a loosey-goosey attitude.
Of course, people can and do use Tinder to forge more commitment-focused relationships (a spokesperson for the company says they have received thousands of emails with stories of engagements, marriages and even a few Tinder babies). They also use it to find platonic friends in new cities, as well as for professional networking purposes. Still, none of these functions is at the root of Tinder’s meteoric rise. The app took off because rather than stigmatizing hookup culture, it gives users permission to revel in it. Where previous online dating services have fundamentally been about finding The One, or at least branded as such, Tinder says, Go ahead and make superficial judgments, keep a few partners on the go, be casual, have fun. It says this to both genders—the only difference is that for women, the message is relatively new.
Stacey is a doe-eyed lawyer in her late 20s. she works 80-plus hours a week. It’s possible she’ll get to the whole marriage and family thing—eventually. For now she says Tinder is ideal in the work-centric, oat-sowing, sorta-single stage that so many young, career-driven women currently find themselves in. “Women of my generation have been told our whole lives, you can have it all,” she says. “A rewarding relationship, a successful career, children. The reality is that I haven’t seen many relationships where that’s the case. When a couple decides to have children, it’s almost always the woman who takes herself out of the workforce or asks for a less demanding role. And her career suffers for it.” Stacey recently hooked up with an ex she compares to the kale salad at Gusto. (“It’s good, you know what you’re getting, but, you know, nothing mind-blowing.”) Before him there was the guy she and her friends called Runway, a reference to his career as a model. They met through Tinder, and while Runway was nice to look at and okay in bed, eventually he overstayed his welcome: “He would be hanging around at my apartment, and I was always thinking, can you go now? I have to go to work.” Stacey admits that Tinder makes her less considerate toward the men she’s dating. “You invest so little that you can literally be on a date and get up to go to the bathroom and leave.” Freed from the tyranny of forever, these women collect different men to suit different occasions: there’s the guy who makes you breakfast, the guy who gives great foot massages, the guy who can get you into all the best restaurants and the guy who will show up at your condo even if you message at 3 a.m. to “cuddle.” Stacey will often go on Tinder when she wants a quick ego boost or a reminder of how many men are out there. The ritual has resulted in a condition she and her girlfriends identify as dating ADHD. “The problem with social media is that there are so many options. You get into a fight with a guy you’re seeing, so you just swipe, swipe, swipe.”
The latest data shows that women are pickier than men. They swipe left (say no) three times more often than men do (46 per cent of the time versus 14). All Tinder users have to go on is a first name, age, a cheeky bio line and a few photos, and yet they assess their potential matches in a matter of seconds. The women I spoke to have developed a visual vocabulary of red flags. A guy who doesn’t post his height is probably 5 foot 7 or shorter; if he wears a hat, he’s got the hairline of a pre-Regenix Matthew McConaughey. Last year, “tiger selfies” (yes, meaning a man snapped side by side with a tiger) were Tinder’s most inexplicable trend. The bizarre practice was so rampant in New York that Governor Andrew Cuomo signed a bill banning it. Here in Toronto, tiger selfies are still legal, though a surefire sign of douchebaggery. Other popular if questionable Tinder props include sports cars (big ego, small penis) and cats (kind but clingy). Sunglasses are a category unto themselves: big sunglasses equal bad face, Oakleys equal an address in the burbs, Kanye shutter-style shades equal a Jersey Shore–style partier. A guy who posts a photo with a bunch of other guys is probably hoping you’ll confuse him with one of his better-looking friends, while a guy who posts zero photos with friends probably doesn’t have any. Tinder has turned men into a commodity, and Stacey and her female friends evaluate potential partners like seasoned market analysts discussing pork belly futures.
Critics of tinder say it’s killing romance. But many of the women I spoke to believe it’s slowly doing away with any residual stigma that society still attaches to casual sex. “My dad thinks I’m addicted to the chase,” says Valerie. “He’s probably right. But I’m having fun, so why can’t I be as superficial as the men? I remember when I was in high school and we’d say things like, ‘Oh my god, that girl is such a slut.’ I haven’t used that word in years. If one of my girlfriends is having tons of sex, it’s like, hell yeah!”
Valerie and The Suit would often spontaneously hook up in the middle of the day for a quickie. “We were always searching for the best washrooms to do it in,” she says. “We would message each other about where to meet. I would always go in first and then he would come in.” It was hot (as most I-want-you-so-bad-we-have-to-do-it-in-the-PATH trysts tend to be). Sometimes they wouldn’t exchange a single word before returning to their respective office towers. A couple of Valerie’s colleagues knew about her escapades and would tease her when she arrived back at work with tousled hair and flushed cheeks.
But the steamy romance with The Suit ended when Valerie discovered, via Facebook, that he was in a long-term relationship. She was angry and disappointed that he cheated, but thanks to Tinder, there were plenty of new guys to add to the roster. A couple of months later she ended up on the quintessential disaster date with a guy she matched with and agreed to meet after chatting a few times on Skype. When she arrived at the bar after work, he was already hammered. Since he had his car, Valerie offered to drive him home, but she wanted to stop at her place to change out of her work clothes. When they got inside, he wouldn’t leave. Eventually Valerie turned in and left him on the couch. He spent the night drinking his way through her liquor cabinet and started throwing up around 5 a.m. Valerie insisted it was time to go. She gave him a lift home, and he cried the entire way. Later, on her way to meet her girlfriends, she checked her phone and saw he had been texting her from the couch while she was sleeping.
“I’m so happy we met.”
“I feel like we’re really connecting.”
On weekends, Valerie spends time with her female friends: they work out, gab over coffee, visit a hot new restaurant or catch an art show. It’s the sort of stuff people do with a significant other, but for these women, the most important people in their lives are each other. “I only have so many social hours in the week, so why would I want to spend that time with some random guy?” Down the road they might be interested in the kinds of traditional relationships their parents had, but for now, life is work, eggs can be frozen, friendships are fulfilling, and sex is just a swipe away.
This article reads like your editor asked you for, “3,000 words on Tinder and make it salacious”. I’m pretty sure Tinder has the same results at Joey’s at the Don Mills Centre or Moxie’s at Yorkdale Mall as it does at Earls on York St..
“She was angry and disappointed that he cheated, but thanks to Tinder, there were plenty of new guys to add to the roster.” Edit: Plenty of new douchebags to add to the roster.
“….but for now, life is work, eggs can be frozen, friendships are fulfilling, and sex is just a swipe away.” That is the saddest thing I’ve read all week. And everything that is wrong with this shallow narcissistic Patrick Bateman city. Don’t touch the watch Valerie.
“I remember when I was in high school and we’d say things like, ‘Oh my god, that girl is such a slut.’ I haven’t used that word in years.” Well that doesn’t mean your not exhibiting the same characteristics.
As a 41-year-old father of three who got married and domesticated just before the whole online hook-up thing started happening, the horny part of me feels like I missed out on a lot of easy lays. But the human part of me feels like this is just gross.
Right swipe “rosters”? ugh
Exactly my thoughts. It’s like *we get it, all the cool ppl eat at that table* but ya… we are all seeing ppl do the same iteration elsewhere… so drop the sheen of exclusivity bs. It’s tired.
good luck with those frozen eggs, ladies
Touche twentydollarburgermafia! Firstly these type of articles are paid PR since the only ones that seem to push this degenerate agenda always refer to either a dating site or Tinder specifically. Fyi to the author; the sexual revolution happened in the 60’s and is nothing new. Secondly only apes, monkeys and orangutans go around screwing aimlessly. And even there you have types of primates who are monogamous. Lastly I have several friends and family in the mental health profession including Psychiatry and their largest growing client demographic are single women over 40 who find themselves maturing all of a sudden when it’s way too late (the reality of egg freezing is much different). Realizing they can no longer have kids or a family life of their own; depression often sets in and the therapist bills rack up. We are not wired to screw aimlessly. Human beings versus primates have a higher calling and deeper responsibility in the hierarchical structure of the animal world. We’re here to build a kind, decent, knowledge accruing society that we can be proud to hand over to our next generation. No next generation = no human beings. We’re here to learn, build a new world, procreate and set a good example and leave a legacy that we can be proud of. How is the behavior depicted in the article beneficial to anyone other than to self-gratifying, short-sighted, sub-par IQ narcissists? It’s literally the path to the downfall of society going full circle back to acting like primates.
I found my wife-to-be on Tinder using it (mostly) for long term dating purposes after online websites were coming up short. Most people I know, were using it for dating purposes and thought the idea of casual “hookups” from it were gross. The article does say that sure, some people might use it to find someone special, but also implies I didn’t use it properly. The sample base in this article is douchebag central, narcissistic, egotistical, pretentious, douchebags. Talk to people at a more casual restaurant, see what they have to say.
This article hits so close to home. Nailed it, Courtney! By the way, the author isn’t providing a value judgment on this behavior. I don’t think she’s glorifying or condemning Tinder dating culture at all. She’s reporting on it. Feel however you like about Tinder dating, but I can tell you that this is how 95% of my single friends and I approach dating, and the author captured it very well.
“We were always searching for the best washrooms to do it in,” she says. “We would message each other about where to meet. I would always go in first and then he would come in.” All class. Way to aim high.
It’s hilarious. Lighten up. And be careful where you choose to pee downtown.
This magazine really loves to over-hype people that work in finance in this city. The vast majority of them are zeros.
Incurable STDs, infidelity, self-esteem so low that successive sexual conquest without attachment in public bathrooms is the chosen outlet….yeah, globally known as “Hilarious”
Im pretty sure most of the guys working on baystreet are complete fags
Hopefully the women in this article get a ring on it before they hit “the wall” and their roster quickly dries up. Nobody wants an wrinkly used up narcissist.
This article reads like they interviewed 1 person and made up the rest of the story based on “Suits”
The average salary of the downtown core is 150k? Most people I know who live downtown makes nowhere close to that. Downtown is bigger than Bay street and just because “Suits” is filmed on Bay Street doesn’t actually make it Wall street.
Women who are acting as sluts would not be the ones using that term.
Vapidity, stupidity and self-destruction masked as liberalism, feminism and progressiveness. That about sums it up.
It’s a totally bogus fact, census data isn’t that specific on which block earns what the closest you can get is by Ward, to which this block lies with Ward 28 Center Rosedale. I guess facts wouldn’t have made an interesting story and that’s why items presented as fact don’t name a source.
“How is the behavior depicted in the article beneficial to anyone other than to self-gratifying, short-sighted, sub-par IQ narcissists?”
I’d say that if people matching this description are choosing not to have children, they’re doing us a favour.
Casual sex and hookups are fine and all but the whole Tinder-fication/instant gratification of online dating and commodifying others based on shallow, narcissistic traits puts people out of touch with reality. Judging the value of another person based on what prestige they can offer you at any given moment and deeming them expendable commodities is a pretty shitty way to go about living life.
I know many of the Raptors, Jays and Leafs live in the area described in the article. Maybe that skews the data?
What data? Data has a source and when you quote data you name the source.
it’s a play on words to compare one persons income vs family income.
I’m having trouble reconciling the descriptions of the Adonis-like Patrick Bateman characters described in the article with the underwhelming high school cafeteria dork table in the foreground of the photograph taken at Earl’s.
Lol touche my friend. She really exaggerated a lot of things in this article.
“Stacey,” I’m a doe-eyed male in his early 20s. Care for a boink sesh tomorrow afternoon in the PATH?
Isn’t this how pandemics start? Multiplier effect petri dish environment? See my card? Raised lettering, pale nimbus white?
Honestly, I work on Bay Street and we sometimes go to Earls for post-work drinks there and its really not like they described in this article at all. Its full of interns and kids early in their careers. Everyone important is probably still at work actually working hard. This article is so terrible and makes me feel sad for the people who think everything written here sounds glamorous.
Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? Why are there copies of the style section everywhere? You have a dog? A little chow or something? youtu.be/vzN3qO-qc8U
i like how most of the comments are shaming women and make no mention of the men who do the exact same thing. Great job guys!
According to who?
I’m not so sure these people sound unhappy
How many of these liberated women channeling Sheryl Sandberg, Marissa Mayer, and the “Sex and the City” gang still expect that night’s ride on the carousel to pick up the tab? My bet: all of them.
when you walk in the bar
and you dressed like a star
rockin yo f me pumps ….
he could be your whole life
if you got past one night …
but that part never goes right ….
Never said they were but looks don’t last forever.
I work on Bay St. and I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m also convinced that if it wasn’t for Tinder and alcohol, no Bay St man would ever get up the courage to try and pick up a Bay St woman. I guarantee it. It’s funny how power in professional life doesn’t always translate to power and confidence in personal life.
I agree, this isn’t what we see in practice at all.
Ki is supposed to be a meat market. I think prostitutes are the only ones who actually pick up there.
Lol The best comment I read today!
I do believe the article specifically referenced the word “transactional” in reference to one of the women’s exchanges so you’re not exactly doing any groundbreaking reporting here…
The only women or men I know who use Tinder for hookups are rich or they’re blonde.
Regular people use it to find normal relationships. Just sayin’.
Life imitating art, as it were…
why are these guys going after bay street women?! Nurses, teachers are way hotter than these alpha-female-“career womyn”. But I def agree with Ana, Tinder and booze help, for better or worse!
Nice reference to the wall! In case people didn’t know it… http://therationalmale.com/2012/07/18/the-wall/
It sounds accurate in theory, but things are quite different in practice. Also, the fear of the wall for women is diminished by the knowledge that men have their own fear of the wall. No woman, regardless of her age, thinks that a middle aged, fat and broke man is attractive. So, put a ring on it while you still can ;)
I didn’t say they were going after or targeting these women on purpose. Tinder profiles don’t say what people do for a living. I mentioned Bay Street men and women because the article is about that particular group of people. Also, given the one mile radius, a Bay St man has a higher probability of meeting a Bay St woman than say a teacher or a nurse. Even if we weren’t living in the age of the internet, these men would still be hooking up with these women because people tend to select partners from their own professional/cultural/religious/intellectual circles.
That being said, have you ever seen any Bay Street women? A lot of them look like runway models. They take extremely good care of themselves, they’re dressed to the nines (without revealing too much), they’re smart, fun, charming, ambitious (i.e. they make a good living so that they don’t depend on a man financially) and they’re sexy as hell. I can’t blame any man for wanting a woman like that. If you don’t believe me, why don’t you take a stroll through the PATH at lunch hour and see for yourself.
However, the article is an exaggeration, almost a parody. All these women are looking for is love – that’s the ultimate goal. Real, never ending, till-death-do-us-part love with the right man. I have no idea if there’s as much sex going on as the article would lead us to believe (I’ve never heard or encountered that myself), but if there is then I highly suspect that it’s with men who aren’t right for them.
All of this hyperbole about the opening of a chain restaurant heralding a new era. Imagine seeing the equivalent in a New York publication: The bigger, bolder downtown scene kicked off in early 2011 with the opening of TGIFriday’s at the corner of Wall Street and Broad Street.
This article makes me laugh. I’ll stick with the old fashioned approach
I know lots of women like Valarie – the majority of whom are now single and miserable-errrrr, I mean Career Driven :)
Talk to the women when they are over 40 and still single.
Casual sex really caters to Men – we are biologically hardwired to spread our seed with little regard to those rearing it.
Women, however, are hardwired to protect and nurture the seed.
I find that most of my single 40 + female friends find something lacking in their lives as they get older, alone, without any children in their lives.
When you claim someone is going about living a shitty way of life you’re pretty much suggesting they are unhappy or will be very soon.
I have a feeling that coming generations in the first world are going to abandon many of the ways we’ve been told to live our lives and challenge the norm as these people are in increasing numbers.
Marriage and kids will be one of the things you’ll see a decrease in as more and more people realize that this is your only crack at life.
Nobody is saying they are or will be unhappy and yes, birth rates are declining in the first world, no arguing that. Nor is that trend problematic. But having the mindset of judging someone’s value solely on how well or poorly they can satisfy your sexual needs, well you are a pretty shallow and shitty person. Luckily there aren’t too many in this world like those profiled in the article.
I worked at Earls King Street while I was in university. There was this one guy who worked for National Bank and was a regular at the restaurant. Always booked the best patio spots and wrote off bar tabs as company expenses. He tried to play himself up as some sort of hotshot Bay Street baller. I remember I saw him taking the GO train from Mississauga like the rest of us peasants.
Again…. Why and according to who?
Sex is pleasurable to humans – it’s a wonderful gift mother nature has given us. Why is bad to seek out ways to make it even more enjoyable?
You’ve never seen a person on the street you had a raw sexual impulse for? It actually takes some guts to act on those impulses.
I say good for those people and ‘if” there are repercussions they have to deal with later in life when it comes to relationships then they can deal with it then. There will be apps for that too.
No one has to grown old and die alone anymore cause they are “out of the game” at some arbitrary age.
The majority of them are what I like to call “corporate fluff”. They’re about 80% of the “suits” you see downtown. None of them actually do anything. It’s a lot of passing paperwork from A to C, with B’s approval, making a 30 minute job into “a day’s work”.
Agreed. Plus, most men over 40 experience erectile dysfunction. Especially the single ones.
Typical lazy lifestyle journalism. Anonymous, suspiciously well-spoken people with vacuous personalities. Most of this is fiction… the “real” people are definitely just made up personas.
Use Uber code UBERTORONTOFREERIDE to get $20 off your first ride. Just download the Uber app and enter the code. Valid anywhere in Canada :)
Me too! Like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. there are plenty of people on tinder who view it as no different than deciding to go up and talk to a stranger at a bar but without the fear of rejection.
Now this is funny.
Just because someone chooses to take the GO train because it’s convenient doesn’t mean they don’t have money.
Lakeshore West (Burlington, Oakville, Clarkson, PC), yes, but there ain’t no big money coming into downtown on the Milton line. If you’re coming in from the burbs, you don’t have the money to live downtown.
getting sexed up is fine
And the Most Neanderthal Comment and Dated Use of Circa 1952 Pseudoscience Comment Award goes to: Sacfat.
Your prize is a basket of 20 pairs of eyes that collectively rolled right out of their respective craniums after reading your comment.
I’d certainly hate to be the guy one of these chicks finally feels IS worthy of nurturing a long-term relationship with. Things must me hanging like the tongue of a tired dog by then . . .
Use Uber code UBERTORONTOFREERIDE to get $20 off your first ride. Just download the Uber app and enter the code. Valid anywhere in Canada.
There are considerable hyperbole in the article. Bulk of these late 20s and early to mid- 30s seem to be college grads or some may be lawyers and bank employees. How many of these are paid $157K a year and for doing what? I know quite well that a CFO in a mid-size company is paid about $175K tops. And it takes a while to get there. And one has to be at least a CA. The market has been so badly ruined by dime a dozen CGAs and CMAs that it’s a scramble at best for each coveted CFO role. I would think bulk of these “highly qualifieds” with ‘high sex tinder drive’ are best making about $80K to $120K tops. A few in between could be in the $150K slot. It does not cost much to hang out at Earl’s even if living in a condo. Most that live in these condos are renters. They don’t own.
The ironic thing about the whole dating/hooking-up/app thing is that most physically attractive single people, don’t need to find partners using this electronic tools. This is especially true when it comes to women. There are very few “lookers” on these sites because they get dates the old fashioned way. Ultimately, apps like Tinder and POF are overflowing with too many undateables because they just don’t have the good looks to make it in the real world. And they rarely end up having much more success going the electronic way.
Times sure have changed.
Just another form of demonic selfishness. How childish and arrogant these people are. Both the men and the women sex-capading in this article are total, (might I use the millennial term) “douche bags”.
Had to laugh about Wall Street bros and their Bay St Brethren. The old “Toronto wants to be New York but can’t be anything like it and never will”.
Wall St doesn’t have a clue who Bay St bros are, or what Bay St even is. You’re not on New York’s radar. Toronto is a few rungs below your big idol city sweetie.
In advanced countries, most people take trains when they can. Safer, faster and far more relaxing. Looking down your nose at train travel is backward and ignorant.
Toronto has about 35 years before it gets near the stage most European and Asian cities when it comes to transport.
Totally. The girl who wrote this vapid article is making it up as she goes along. “Passed along from Wall St to Bay St like a fist bump”. is where you start to realise it’s all BS.
I agree wholeheartedly. GO Transit/Metrolinx should have implemented RER years ago.