King State of Mind: When did the once-cool King West strip descend into a mess of stretch Hummers, drunken bachelorettes and last-call brawls?
Scenes from a never-ending party
“Let’s get drunk and fuck! Let’s get drunk and fuck!”
I’m at Cobra, a King West club in a sprawling basement underneath a 19th-century warehouse. In this neighbourhood, the best parties are either deep underground or high above in a rooftop bar. Cobra is decorated like a gothic funhouse, with a wall of glowing skulls and lots of black. The get-drunk-and-fuck directive bleats from a techno remix as coloured lights, inducing a kind of electric synesthesia, pulsate on the basement ceiling. To my left, two girls make out and topple over, knocking down their bottle service glassware. Guys eagerly watch from the sidelines, plotting how to make their move. My teeth chatter from the vibrating bass. I down a shot that’s half Sour Puss and half vodka, proffered by a human Barbie doll bartender.
I’d arrived at 11:30 p.m., waited my turn to pass through the velvet rope, and carefully made my way down the steep staircase (a bitch to do when you’re wearing six-inch stilettos, like most women here, including me). At first the club was nearly empty, with men and women separated in groups as if it were a middle school dance. But as the night progressed, the room filled and the ladies began to pose and grind for an audience of ethnically diverse guys in shiny loafers. Every once in a while, a waitress walks by holding a tray laden with liquor bottles. When a patron orders a $650 bottle of Cristal, Cobra attaches a sparkler to it with an elastic, so it lights a pathway to the club’s very important patrons as the waitress carries it across the room.
One by one, the guys attack—placing clammy hands on trim waists, stubble on well-moisturized cheeks, come-ons on deaf ears. Conversation consists of “What’s up tonight?” and “I can’t hear you, the music’s too loud!” By 3 a.m., the club is nearly empty except for one or two defiant couples, courting the inevitability of what happens at the end of the night.
The opening event for the Thompson Hotel was the high point of cool for the neighbourhood and a warning of the coming deluge of weekend partiers
The entrances to many of the neighbourhood’s nightclubs are hidden in brick-paved alleys that were originally designed to ship products more efficiently to the street’s warehouses. Outside Cobra, three chicks from Western smoke on a striped chaise longue by a cluster of heat lamps, and giggle over the guys they rejected. They tell me they drove in for the weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday. The prettiest of them, a fragile 20-year-old blonde with a passing resemblance to Kirsten Dunst, is wearing a black lace dress from Urban Behavior, rhinestone earrings from Ardene, $25 bejewelled satin pumps and no coat even though it’s zero degrees and dropping.
I turn my attention back to the street. It’s time I go home to Parkdale, but hailing a cab is a nightmare: King West is a tangle of stretch Hummers and lost packs of bachelorettes. My idea of a big night out used to consist of drinking PBR in a dingy bar in Little Portugal. But over the past few months, as I attempted to figure out why King West became one giant party, I spent nearly every weekend on the strip, dining on foie gras at Brassaii, getting my makeup retouched at C Lounge, avoiding groping guys at the Firkin. Throughout my travels, I met a concert promoter in his late 50s named Gerry, who invited me back to his multimillion-dollar house on Richmond, where we smoked pot and listened to Captain Beefheart; a cop who flashed me his badge and pretended to arrest me “for being so beautiful”; and a guy who swore he wasn’t a rapist as he begged me to join him in his limo. As I make my way home, it occurs to me that this is the only neighbourhood in Toronto where people make direct eye contact.
“King West” was once shorthand for the members-only Spoke Club, Susur Lee’s restaurant and boutique advertising agencies. Now it’s an insult. It’s where the douchebags party. It’s where the vapid, self-absorbed and racist wannabes of the yet-to-debut but already notorious reality TV series Lake Shore get crunked. How did King West replace John and Richmond as the new clubland? Blame it on the death of one-party-fits-all mega-clubs like the four-level, $6.3-million Circa and the rise of smaller underground nightclubs that offer bottle service and a veneer of exclusivity. King West’s rise also coincided with the completion of a dozen mid-rise condo buildings in the area, all marketed to young single men and women with new downtown jobs.
When city hall saw what was happening to the strip, it capped the nightclub quota at 14. The club owners got around the cap by labelling their operations resto-lounges. They look like restaurants until about 11 p.m., when the tables are stacked away, the celebrity DJ starts to spin and a queue of leather jackets and spike heels forms outside. There are now around 20 resto-lounges between Spadina and Bathurst.
Unwritten codes of status, age, income and style govern who goes to which club. Cobra plays Katy Perry and gets the youngest partiers. Bachelorette parties prefer Cheval, Marben and Brassaii. Thirty-somethings with better-paying jobs and a more desperate glint in their eyes hunt for hookups to a soundtrack of Michael Jackson remixes at Brant House, Dolce and 2 Cats. And everyone meets in the middle at the bigger nightclubs, like Century Room, which is designed to look like a plush 19th-century brothel.
If the new King West could be bottled up in a five-foot-eight, 27-year-old Greek guy in Gucci loafers, it would be Matty Tsoumaris. Tsoumaris is the unofficial king of King West. His parents, Nitsa and John Tsoumaris, run a management company called Uniq Lifestyle and own some of the strip’s biggest moneymakers: the nightclubs Cheval, 1812 and Cobra, the resto-lounges Brant House and Jacobs and Co. (a steak house that serves a $400 black Tajima-Miyazaki rib-eye), and The One That Got Away, a seafood restaurant. Matty works for his parents as Uniq’s chief promoter. He parties every night at his parents’ clubs and recently moved into his own minimalist condo on Wellington Street West. He’s the guy who escorts Paris Hilton, Johnny Knoxville and Rachel McAdams out the back door at three in the morning. He started promoting parties when he was studying business at Western, and joined his parents’ company in 2003, just when King West was beginning its boom.
“I go out six nights a week,” he explains to me over cocktails at Brant House. “It’s exhausting, but if I wasn’t part of it, I would feel unfulfilled and that I’m missing my youth. If I skip a fashion show or party, I hear the stories the next day and think, ‘Oh, I missed a good one,’ you know?”
Tsoumaris has tattoos of flowers, doves, a dragon and angels on his arms and legs and plans to add another of the Hollywood sign. He tells me he is “OCD” about his condo, and refuses to let his girlfriend, Alison (the aforementioned human Barbie doll bartender), move in because of the mess she’d make. He rolls with a crew of women he has known since high school. One works for the developer Minto, another for Naked News. They all gush about his niceness (“It’s like he has no faults at all!”). As they become drunker and drunker, they clasp their hands around my waist, readying me for a pseudo-lesbian make-out.
Another night, Matty’s crew consists of a couple of young Bay Streeters: a chiselled yet taciturn suit I’ve mentally nicknamed Sad Keanu, who buys us all endless Red Bull and vodkas, and a good-humoured college friend named Seth, who coaches me through the drunk spins. For the girls, Matty bankrolls their booze and cover. The guys, all property-owning singles, pay their own way and stay out until last call.
We flit from 1812 to Cobra to Brant House, and the velvet ropes open with a single nod. “Saturday is my least favourite night of the week,” Tsoumaris says. “It’s when all the amateurs come out.” He wears a jet black Gucci shirt, unbuttoned to his navel. As we cross the street, a cab swerves by and Tsoumaris thumps on the hood intimidatingly, like Ratso Rizzo in Midnight Cowboy.
During his years on King West, Tsoumaris has seen it all. “One time a fight broke out in front of the Pizza Pizza, near Brant House,” he tells me. “A guy was really drunk and started beating up on another guy. A big crowd appeared, and the cops tried to break it up and scared this guy so bad he shit his pants. Instead of backing off, he started throwing his own shit at everyone, smearing himself and everyone else with it, including the cops.”
Later, Matty sends me a text message. He wants to retract the shit story for fear that it will hurt his neighbourhood’s image. “I don’t think there is any bad in King West,” he writes. “Just because it has become a place to party for people who don’t live there doesn’t mean it’s bad.”
Kelly Rowan, Jeanne Beker, Tavi Gevinson and Galen Weston Jr. were among the boldfacers at last June’s launch party for the Thompson Hotel, the first Canadian outpost of a U.S. mini-chain of party palaces. Like the other Thompsons, the Toronto branch has a celebrity chef restaurant (Scott Conant’s Scarpetta), a basement nightclub (Uniq’s 1812) and a smug hipness. Flutes of champagne were handed out in the lobby by statuesque servers in dresses designed by Jeremy Laing. A crush of people waited to ride the elevator to the hotel’s main draw: a rooftop patio with a gorgeous view of the skyline. Up above, splashing in the rooftop pool, three hired models in sun hats and vintage sunglasses pretended to be having more fun than the hundreds of guests who sipped mojitos and TwitPic’d the glimmering vista.
The event was perhaps the high point of cool for the neighbourhood and a warning of the coming deluge of weekend partiers. The Thompson is both a hotel and a condo—the now customary model for a profitable hotel. The building is a joint creation of the New York–based company and the Toronto developer Peter Freed, who, along with the developer and the real estate agent Brad Lamb, is responsible for most of King West’s new buildings.
Lamb was the first to start rebranding King West back in the mid-’90s, when his real estate company handled the sale of a new, 24-unit building at Niagara and Bathurst. It took him more than a year to sell the first 17 units, a pace he’d never tolerate today. In 2004, Freed teamed up with Lamb to sell 66 Portland, a modest 85-unit building. They marketed the building as a haven for trendy singles. Most of the units sold in 10 months, at a pricey $300 a square foot. That’s when they realized the neighbourhood was a gold mine.
The units in Lamb and Freed’s King West buildings are typically 500-square-foot one-bedrooms. They’re sold as “condo-lofts,” and most have nine-foot ceilings so that you feel less trapped in a small space. One wall is usually floor-to-ceiling windows, finishes are glossy, floors hardwood. One recently completed building, the Philippe Starck–designed 75 Portland, features a bizarre courtyard of long white tables and potted trees, resembling a demented Alice in Wonderland tea party. The view from a fifth-floor balcony is nothing but condos and cranes.
In the ladies’ room, I overhear a pep talk: “Listen, Jessica. Tonight is girls’ night, so let’s just forget about the bullshit and dance!
Freed and Lamb built and sold more than a thousand units together between 2004 and 2008, until Lamb launched his own development company, a direct competitor to Freed. Freed chose to break off their relationship and promoted the Thompson project on his own. One of Freed’s tactics was to launch a free magazine called King West. The cover of the first issue shows a nubile brunette, all silken thighs and arms, wearing a gaudy crown. The magazine’s motto is “Design. Art. Real Estate. Everything Regal.” In between articles about the neighbourhood’s history and a new model of Porsche, it promotes the penthouse lofts at the Five Hundred, which have private elevator access and cabana terraces (starting at $1.75 million).
Lamb says King West has peaked. His current scheme is to colonize other pockets of the city, including Leslieville and the rough edges of Parkdale. “When I first started on King West, my buyers didn’t want to live in Yorkville or on the waterfront,” Lamb says. “They wanted an alternative lifestyle. So we built edgier buildings. But we were so good at building edgier buildings and making the area desirable that it exploded. Now it’s a younger version of Yorkville. Within another four, five years, this street will have Gucci and Prada.”
Matty and his friends have got me wasted again. His world is starting to grow on me despite my many reservations. As the crowd sways to “Empire State of Mind” on a mid-week night at Century Room, a sense of awe and calm comes over me. I am dancing alone on the bar in a room full of strangers. High above the crowd, I watch a room of suit jackets and BCBG sheaths get down. The DJ nods his head on the offbeat of his mix. I hop off the bar, chug a vodka Red Bull and flirt with a tall and gingery account exec. “I could see how you might be cute,” he says, “but I’ll need you to take off those giant glasses.” You can take the girl out of Parkdale…
Matty is in full schmooze mode, glad-handing the clientele who come forth with compliments and business offers. He pours drinks, tries not to stare too obviously at cleavage and talks up his seafood restaurant’s barramundi. His friends discuss condo living, Mad Men spoilers, RRSPs. If they saw my bank balance, they would laugh and laugh and laugh.
“Are you getting caught up in this? You are, aren’t you?” asks Matty. I nod in agreement. He continues: “I do this every night, but partying is special for the people here tonight. This is their excuse to let go.”
A song forces us all to raise our hands into the air, giving thanks to the party gods. It feels like an act of communion. In the ladies’ room, girls console each other over what they’ve lost: an earring, a boyfriend. Each one stares at her face defiantly in the mirror, touching up her lipstick. I overhear a pep talk: “Listen, Jessica. Tonight is girls’ night, so let’s just forget about the bullshit and go out and dance!”
By last call, half-empty bottles of Grey Goose are taken away, and out come waitresses with trays of complimentary miniature kaiser rolls stuffed with chicken, lettuce and a generous slather of mayo. The sandwiches are Century Room’s insurance policy against hangovers. It would be un–King West to be seen eating them, so only a few traders attempt to, messily. Soon, pieces of chicken are stiletto-stabbed all over the dance floor as the crowd gyrates to Drake, Britney, Kesha and Rihanna. After a while, it sounds like the same song is being played on repeat.
As 3 a.m. approaches, the light show begins to dim, slowly bringing the room into focus. Tsoumaris has had eight vodka Red Bulls (he swears he never gets drunk) and is feeling philosophical. “People go to work, they sit behind a desk, they don’t live their life, man,” he tells me. “A lot of people make money to save and buy a house, buy a car, have a kid, start saving for their retirement, put their kids through college and then they retire. And then it’s over. I’d rather live my life and party hard and die at 50 than die at 80. I’ve lived my life. I’ve partied all over the world.”
We watch couples stream out of the nightclub, hand in hand. Groups of guys leave disappointed and head for Pizza Pizza. I brace myself for flying poop and make my exit.
You can’t match party professionals drink for drink and live to tell about it. I try my best but can’t stop myself from throwing up in the cab. I throw up in my hair. When I get home, I throw up in my bed. I throw up in the bath. I wake up a nicotine-scented, mascara-smeared, hungover wretch. Eight hours later, my feet still throb from my heels.
I’ve lived King West. Now it’s time to avoid eye contact in Parkdale. I’ve never been so relieved to feel invisible.
With an opening line like this one and the accompanying photo who isn’t going to head to (the horrible) king west strip now.
Dear girl in photo: might I suggest contacting me asap.
Also, i Hope your parents don’t read Toronto life.
We just vented about the very same thing!!!
Check out our VLOG about a recent visit to DOLCE!
http://t.co/bAjRpP9
(NOT SPAM, LEGIT LINK TO A FUNNY VLOG ON THIS TOPIC!!!!)
KING WEST WAS NEVER COOL ! ever . ever . i lived there from 1999 on and watched the evolution from semi-urban chachis going out and getting wasted to fully suburban chachis going out and getting wasted . KING WEST WAS NEVER COOL . susur was a good restaurant . SO WHAT . king west went from quiet old factory buildings and businesses to try-hard condo dwellers to extra puke and the spoke club is the most disgusting elitist rich kid douche trap in the city . susur and the spoke club do not represent a time when king west was cool ! they were just the tip of the vomit iceberg .
pbr has always been for pretentious “hipster” kids and writing that you used to drink it on dundas west doesnt make you any less stupid for writing this stupid article . stop saying you are from parkdale just because you live there . gag
Great write up from a woman’s point of view especially. Way to tell like it is without bashing the partying scene on King West to bits. It is what it is. Either partake, or stay the f*ck out. Nobody will care or miss you anyway – male or female.
DEAR JOJO TORONTO DOESNT LIKE YOU GO BACK TO THE SUBURBS STOP PUKING AND FIGHTING ALL OVER OUR STREETS GOOOH HOOOOME
Love the pics! – the guys looks like terrorists and the chicks look like bimbos…excellent combination!!! Now if we could only move them to Montreal…..hmmmm
I was considering moving to this area for work but on second thought…. no thank you!
The article’s pretty redundant. If this is your bag, go to King West. If not, exercise your CHOICE to go elsewhere. No biggie.
Bonus points to ‘Fashion-Glasses’ wearer Chandler for managing not to sound completely smug. Demerit for pathetic hipster-pandering with the lame PBR reference. What age is she anyway?
..so where do you go for a decent night out??? any suggestions??
You realize these activities only happen on Fri & Sat between midnight and 4am. If you lived in the area and spent any time there you’d realize its a nice quiet neighborhood to live in. But please, dont take my word for it, keep your vision of king west and keep your parkdale wankery out of my hood.
I love Tsoumaris’ party mantra of not wanting to work behind a desk and party forever. A lot of us say that in our twenties and then slowly and surely the majority slowly start to filter away from the club scenes, the hangovers become harsher and you need that desk job to support your family and other endeavors that you wish to pursue. You also don’t want to be that creepy fifty year old eyeing all the nineteen year olds from the back corners. That’s not to say that nights of vapid drunkeness do not occur, just a lot less frequently. People have partied, do party and will continue to do so well into the future.
Maybe people need to realize that this person is writing an article??
Writers are supposed to share their perspective in order to communicate with the masses about topics of interest; and believe it or not in today’s tech-era that also can include a vast array of topics some consider insignificant. Like, Ummm I don’t know … let me think: Jersey Shore, Cake Boss(which i personally believe should be aired before and after Biggest Loser), The Hills, Who’s Your Daddy, Bachelor/ette, anything K-Dash, Kate Plus 8, Real Houswives of WHO CARES?? etc, etc, etc.
So, if you choose to hate on this person for offering their opinion (WHICH IS VALID) then why don’t you EXERCISE your CHOICE and don’t read this damn article. Instead of telling someone not to contribute to society by being a writer (you come off sounding like a Nazi wanting to burn books and articles you don’t agree with) why not try and provide a counter argument? I may no appreciate this person’s take on what is good for the city, but you can’t argue that they are WRONG or shouldn’t write down their experiences they feel are relevant; WHICH IS WHAT YOU DID DOUCHE. Especially since this person can be held legally liable for any defimation of character … I’ll wait to see who’s right on this one.
It’s clear that someone must have pushed Ew off the elevator on the way up to the Spoke Club then doused him in PBR as he walked-sobbed on his way home to sit in the dark and sob some more.
Such vapid generalizations targeted at a members-only establishment, oops “elitist rich kid douche trap”, simply breeds contempt amongst the uninitiated. While you’re at it – defaming the places whose business practices you can’t understand, spew spittle over golf clubs, the Toronto Athletic Club or any private establishment that wishes to cater to a certain ilk of people. An ilk that you have disdain for. And that’s fine, because that ilk would rather not associate with someone who also clearly hates proper punctuation and syntax.
Your comment just magnifies the fact that you are a pessimistic simpleton. Please get some regression therapy sessions to discover the points throughout your life when a member of The Spoke, a hipster drinking PBR, Susur’s magnificent Asian slaw, a Parkdale resident and “suburban chachis” assaulted you, thus leaving you sullen and embittered.
NEWSFLASH – This sort of behaviour happens everywhere!!! I guess if you get trashed in parkdale or yorkville its ok. Just not in kingwest becuase then your a douche bag.
People just need to relax and have a good time. Some people like rock other like techno.
The writer comes off as very judgemental. Wow, you live in parkdale with all the crack addicts and alcoholics. Good for you!
Honestly, King West will.. and always be…filled with dives and wanna-be’s.
A large majority of the cliental shop at stores such as Le Chateau, Stitches, and Fairweather. Most wouldn’t recognize a good pair of high-end designer shoes.
It’s too bad – the area had the potential to be something special like some of the great neighbourhoods in New York City. If any of you Barbie’s are unsure where New York City is, it is located in the state of New York in the U.S.A.
It’s happening on King West because Adam Vaughan and a few other special interest groups forced all the venues in the club district to shut down instead of trying to find a viable way to allow them to continue to operate. Where did they think the party would go?
like this moron of a “reporter” is ever going to get another interview after she trashed everyone in the article. stupid lol
Oh my god what a dick ..Matty your playing with fire exposing yourself and your family to utter ridicule.You live in a fantasy world … not cool at all.
King West is just a newer hipper version of Toronto’s dying club district. I know it likes to promote itself as Toronto’s new Yorkville, but give it 10 years and the buzz will die down. The ‘kids’ will become tired of the clubs and bars and a new hotspot district will arise (if one knew where it will be you could make a substantial amount of money)!
I live in Parkdale rents cheap, digs are cool and got a nice view of the lake and the city. I have partied all over King West and really its were all the clubs are or lounges or restoclub or lougyresto whatever you call them.
She wrote what she saw, thru the eyes of a Downtown west hipster I would assume she is being that I researched who wrote the article. But then again when I feel like getting drunk and acting random I hit up ossington area and I get the smug look of not wearing tight jeans and not having thin laced shoe laces.
So party on party on king westers, I will be riding the TTC to party in the happening spot. But truthfully walking up the street to Parkdale Drink where the bouncers are cool the stlye code is your own and the music is good music, Maybe catch you there at the PD. Look for the tall guys smacking the wall….
ETC-Dundas Junction its the new hotspot, or maybe people will try and revive Etobicoke lots of old buildings with no housing around and lots of new developments.
No offence to anyone but hipsters are wannabes (Dundas and Ossington), the “urban style” is a gangster wannabe Richmond Street), etc,… in the end no matter you how you slice and dice it, people try to project a certain image so in essence we are all wannabes. It just seems like if you dont shop at the gap and wear thick framed non prescription glasses and skinny jeans, your a douche. I dont get it. How about we all just get off our high horses. If you dont like it, dont go.
King West scene is inhabited by rich kid shallow douchebags from Etobicoke and Woodbridge. Fact.
Who the heck actaully classifies themseleves a “hipster”? What a poser. “thru the eyes of a Downtown west hipster” – What a joke. You my friend are a wannabe.
Telling everyone that you live in Parkdale is such an accomplishment. I bet you degree in film that your parents paid for is getting you far in life. You’re a follower like everyone else you talk shit about. When being a hipster isn’t deemed cool, you’ll probably go on to the next thing that is mainstream/not mainstream.
Let me guess, you were the first one to wear skinny jeans and a plad top??
Get over yourself.
Barf is right. “Amateurs” are nauseating and the reason I do not go out Saturday nights anymore. King West is so saturated with twenty somethings born and raised in the 905 that think vodka Red bull is a good drink. It’s so played out. Ugh.
Matty would rather die at 50! Hilarious. Get back to me when you turn 40. Hard to believe, I know, but you’re still gonna feel pretty young. Trust me, you’ll be mortified by this comment in the not-to-distant future.
As much as the King west club kids do not want to hear it everything in this article is true – The King Street strip between Spadina and Bathurst has sadly become the new Richmond Street. It is unfortunate that Matty will take some heat for some things said in this article because there are promoters much more responsible for the lack of class in the area. Century Room used to be a good spot but it too has been taken over by Woodbridge brats. Thankfully King West is still a great spot before 10pm lots of great lunch and dinner spots and is still considered “agency row”.
What is the difference between a woodbridge brat and a Waspy Brat? I think it’s a formality. One tries hard, and the other tries really hard to look like they are NOT trying hard.
This article pretty much sums up King West in a nut shell. just like I didn’t go to the Club District I most definitley will not be going to King West anytime soon….and you just wait Parkdale hipsters….what’s happening to King West will happend to Parkdale, the creep is already happening just check out West Queen West and then picture that slowly migrating down the street to your “oh so cool” Parkdale and then you’ll be moving on to the next so called undiscovred neigborhood aka the Juction or Landsdown and Bloor. The city is becoming gentrified and that’s all just something we are all going to have to live with.
Come on! Let’s give them a break. They are the potential leaders starting in the next decade and their children will either ape them or go to the opposite extreme and condemn they to the pillory post. I am quite sure they are celebrating their contributions to society; ie: helping the homeless, the kids living in poverty and the mothers who break their butts to keep fatherless kids from going hungry,
and of course they take part in marches for appropriate ccauses. Consider yourself lucky…
This article does a fine job at encapsulating the city in which we live. What’s become of King West is really only a microcosm of Toronto’s middle/upper Society. Yes, whether you like it or not, we’re both in the same boat.
The lack of eye-contact, conversations without substance, superficial observations, and the general douchebaggery found in certain pockets of the GTA is, more than anything else, a modern version of The Great Gatsby. Granted, Matty Tsouramis is no Jay Gatsby, but in a loose modern-day adaptation he is fitting stand-in for the outwardly gregarious and inwardly unfulfilled Gatsby surrounding himself with laconic individuals who believe life and the people in it are only as good as their net/material worth.
Don’t mistake my passion for literary interpretation with ignorance in the modern Bacchanalia. In Matty’s words, I too have “partied all over the world.” Enough to know that a good party does not life make. It’s obvious enough that we all get labeled as 905ers, Bay Streeters, Hipsters, or plain ol’ douchebags solely based on a few very narrow assumptions. The fact is, partiers can say they’re going out to have a good time, but in truth when it comes to clubbing in this town, we all go out to judge and be judged.
Try and spend an entire night at Century Room -or any Toronto club – sober and gauge how much of a good time you really have. Without the drunken haze you can clearly see it for the sloshy mess of ignorance, pathetic attention whoring, and the lowest level of human interaction that there is.
I commend the writer for ‘telling it like it is’ from her own background and perspective, but the lack of objectivity in favour of reinforcing the typical stereotypes that divide people in this city is not a useful addition to the commentary.
We’re all guilty and we don’t care.
wow, an article about king west stereotypes written by a total parkdale caricature. barf.
FACT: The term Hipster started in New York City. It was used to describe a group of RICH kids who didn’t work, were living it up in their lofts in soho, being “artists” not selling a single painting or getting a record deal, not needing to bc their trust funds kept them warm. Toronto took the term and turned it into some “downtown rough end” dweller….. it is not. And these kids partied harder than anyone.
Wow this author just doesn’t get it. Cobra is a breath of fresh air, drawing some of the world’s greatest DJs. So much for unbiased reporting
as dance/house music digs deeper and deeper into electro and dub-step, bringing it to a forefront, the scene will move further and further west down into Parkdale. Just wait till the new jameson bridge is complete, giving people quicker access into the west end. I’m bookmarking this so I can re-read this comment when it does/doesn’t happen in 2012/13
Toronto is a city with a media that is perpetually afraid of its’ nightlife.
I don’t care that the author has negative views about Toronto nightclubs and the King west area. What is interesting is that the Toronto media consistently portrays nightclubs and nightlife as lame, scary and degrading.
Can you think of another article from Toronto media that didn’t take this fearful view? (other than Ben Boles excellent and nuanced piece about clubland in another magazine http://bit.ly/fDziwh)
The other fault in this type of article is it never gets around to answering the question, ‘if nightclubs are so lame and sucky, why are they so popular?’.
Another staple of the nightclub=bad article is the 416 snobbery, i.e; this area/thing used to be cool, but the 905’ers ruined it.
Hmmmm. I wonder where Ms Levack is from? Must be born and bred from the 416, right? Right?
Toronto Life. Oh how the mighty have fallen. What a joke.
to comment from “ew” – you’ve successfully completed what i set out to do here. THANK YOU!
what – Parkdalians don’t pass each other on the street, smile, make eye contact, etc.? Sometimes you just have to lift your head while you walk and you’ll notice what you’ve been missing.
The King St. West crowd tends to spill itself out into Queen West late at night, and oh what a mess. And “it” is moving into Parkdale – I’ve noticed on Saturday nights that even the Happy Time bar/cafe is crowded with 20 somethings now.
Yo, @brooklin 99, thanks for the geography lesson. Now, go learn how to spell the borough correctly, Brooklyn.
Who cares what some elitist prick thinks about this and that. It’s her opinion. If you like to party, go to cobra or whatever. If you want to dress like your grandparents and think you are better than everyone because your a judgemental brokeass journalist then hang out at the Parkdale drink or whatever. I bet you she would never admit she had a good time…lol
Can’t we all just get along?
Thank God that there are still some clubs and parties in this city where people actually go to listen to good music, dance and have a good time without all of the B.S. described in this article(and that includes west-end hipster snobbery). King West on most weekend nights is full of meatheads flexing in their tiny t-shirts, or freshly minted Commerce grads in their off-the-rack suits attempting to pick up drunk girls, barely out of their teens, who borrowed Mommy or Daddy’s car for the night.
There are actually a few good restaurants and pubs in the area that I enjoy, but I avoid the place like the plague on weekends.
RIP Industry Nightclub
This is a profile of the writer:
http://www.blogto.com/music/2008/04/the_toronto_portraits_-_chandler_levack/
From the profile: “Born in Toronto but raised in Brantford, Chandler returned in 2004 to take back her birth city, to use the CN Tower as a tooth pick.”
Both PBR and Red Bull and vodka suck but that’s just my opinion…
Good Read.
It scares me that all of this douchebaggery is just a quick zip down King Street. Reading that Brad Lamb is done with King West and is turning his eyes toward Parkdale is terrifying. I moved from Techuseth about 8 years ago specifically to be further away from the hype.
Please stay out of parkdale.
I love my parkdale, I love my city and since the hay days of Richmnd st club crawls 905ers, 519ers, 504s all been going downtown this isn’t something new here. Now its just compacted into 3blocks.
Parkdale Drink dont hate on that place its good times with great music. West West city times are changing don’t know if anybody has noticed the 5 huge buildings on Queen and Dufferin but west west will change. Unless ppl keep buying up store fronts and opening coffee shops and vegan whatevers.
King west is a funny place on the weekends. Do what a couple of us do in the summer stay sober on a Saturday night around 130am find a nice wall chill and watch the entertainment.
Hate or not that is where the parties at.
Mike in Parkdale-were gonna have to smack Brad J Lamb when he tries to bbbbbaaaaauuuy everything up.
Who calls themself a “hipster”? A Try hard. Parkdale is already played out btw. Let’s be original please. How much does a 20-24 year old know anyway?
I think we should let the so called “douche bags” she writes about take a visit the Parkdale and see what they have to say.
Its a bit different if you have bought into all this, as many have and many will. Walking to work is sweet on King.
Queen West, my haunt as usual, doesn’t have much for sale, and yes hipsters.. you too may someday want to invest in the tax exempt joys of toronto real estate. You may not much like the hotel, clubs, or people of this town, but you can’t disagree with the tax free 15% I made on my investment since I laid down my 2K in 2008. (390K to 450K).
The walk to Tequila Bookworm on Queen and Portland is just minutes. Unless your the rare rich kid, as in the article, you may have to put your years into the joys of Parkdale anyway for a decade to get the down payment and yearly income. It’s all one small town.
The sad truth is that far too many people and places in Toronto just try way too damn hard. It seems like nothing comes off as natural here, it’s all so affected. That applies not only to the douchey clubs (sorry, “resto-lounges”) selling the illusion of stylishness and exclusivity, but also to the hipster hangouts with their intentional dive-ness and “ironic” PBR on tap. The hipsters in the skinny jeans and “vintage” runners are no less douchey than the club creeps in the striped shirts and pointy dress shoes.
I’ve lived in the 416 for as long as I’ve been in TO, but I swear I’m gonna deliver a swift kick to the ass of the next loser who talks as if “905ers” are somehow innately uncool and have invaded and ruined everything.
Amen to the comment ” RIP Industry.” Nothing has come close since. Thankfully there are still a few good spots like Footwork, Cobra (on Wednesdays especially), Social etc.
Boa and Film used to be good too.
(Wonder what the author would think of Comfort Zone hahaha)
@ Mike — Bravo! :-)
Sorry, but how newby are you, my dear?
Having lived and worked in the Queen/King West corridor
for most of my adult life, I have watched the area morph
from a blue-collar, industrial district of factories and
warehouses filled with small textile-related businesses
into what it is now; a high-profit business concern for
real estate developers and a playground for the “gullibles”
who buy into the “downtown lifestyle” they are selling.
The bad news for “newbies” is that, with or without the clubs, the downtown core has always been dangerous. The addition of liquored-up frat boys is a recent development, but drugs, guns, muggings, sexual assaults, vandalism, car thefts/jackings, burglaries, and, oh, yes, um, murders, have always been part of the landscape, so it was cheap to live here.
The sound of gun shots is still commonplace…most recently a shooting outside the “Cobra Lounge.” As a journalist with your connections, you might want to look into that…or maybe not…
As for young ladies falling out of their Manolos and compromising their dignity after tee many Martoonis,
it has ever been so on the party circuit, dear girl.
“After Hours Clubs” have always been around, but usually
were hangouts for musicians as a post-gig open jam. Live
jazz/blues/rock, by the way, beats the crap out of canned tuna any day.
The only thing more nauseating than the people
you describe is their/your all-encompassing devotion to conspicuous consumption, labels, branding…
It must be too sick-making to hang with somethingys who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Not exactly “the bright young people,” and all they bring
to the ‘hood is the inflated property values and
higher rents that are driving the creative element out.
Welcome to your vacuous urban nightmare!
Que sera, sera!
Tell me more about how hot you are. Quite the judgmental and egotistical piece. It must be so hard being better, smarter are more beautiful than everyone in King West. Tell us again… Where and how should everyone live?
Will all the references to being so irresistible to men (and women – you big tease), I had to Google you for reference. I’d have to say that you lose a bit of credibility there, Stephen Glass.
First of all, “thank you” so much for posting my picture without my consent or knowledge in an article that is considered as slander and defamation to my image. I hardly go to King West but the ONE night I partake in a party, I get displayed in your article about people whom I don’t relate to AT ALL.
I wouldn’t have cared so much if I didn’t have numerous emails, and phone calls about being in your ridiculous article from not just friends, but work associates.
talking to your editor on the phone, her only remark was “sorry and the photographer has no association with the author”. So here’s an article about going on a club crawl and pictures that wasn’t even from the same night.
Lovely reporting.
Well, congratulations… you’ve now lost some subscribers and coming from a family with strong connections in the legal industry… don’t be surprised if I can get a lawsuit slapped in your face.
If your out in public, your picture can be taken an posted. your name isn’t mentioned. No body knows who you are besides your friends and family.
I also think when you go to places like a club/sports arena or some other sort of venue. Isn’t usual for them to mention or say that any picture taken by the said place is there ownership or some sort of something like that?
problem with Ontario is that there aren’t strong enough laws to protect people against photos like these. If this was quebec, they’d be screwed.. even without the mention of the name.
Good magazines using photos like this, usually mosaic out the faces. but those are good magazines.. not Toronto life.
FYI, Although not illegal, publishing a photo that would hurt someone (physically, emotionally, financially, or professionally) may cause you to get sued.
Stop being so butt-hurt you spoiled brat. Cameras are EVERYWHERE in this area. You don’t want your picture taken, DON’T GO! Serves you right. Now you know never to go to douchebag clubs anymore.
Btw, I’d like to see you sue. You’ll get laughed out of court.
these comments are a fun read.
one thing worth pointing out – The condos that sprang up on King West were replacing low density industrial buildings (like clothing warehouses and textile manufacturers). As soon as you cross Dufferin at King Street, you hit a MASSIVE wall of high density, lower income residential buildings.
Unless the developers plan on buying 20 story towers, kicking everyone out, and rebranding it as a condo…. don’t expect to see the same kind of transformation happen in Parkdale.
Sure some of the smaller bars and restaurants might get a bit more “hip” (forgive me for using that word) but the neighbourhood can’t change like King West did unless thousands of people leave.
side note: Look at the Dufferin Gate – it’s been sitting empty for two years now. Maybe if real development was actually coming to South Parkdale, it would have been bought up and turned into something?
as for the ‘where people don’t look each other in the eye’ comment…. you couldn’t be more wrong.
@peej : i’ve been in their shoes before and so I can sympathize. I hope one day karma turns it’s ugly head and you get caught in a photo you don’t want to be in . Spoilt brat? Better than being a mean @sshole like you.
After the reading the responding I think we can sum this all up with a good final comment.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa its like a pre-school in here. Wwwwhhhaaaaa
WWwwwwhhhaaa
Excellent article. I live in King West and have come to the same conclusion as you.
Oh, if only I could be as privileged as Matty and be born into wealth I had no hand in creating, then I could party every night and not be a boring wage donkey.
Everything about this article wreaks of “image.” Why can’t people just go where they want, drink the brew they want and dance how they want without being judged? If young kids from the suburbs want to party on Fridays and Saturdays in King West, let them. Each neighbourhood in Toronto has its pluses, its minuses and its purpose; no one should be surprised by this article.
Ben, you probably shouldn’t talk about things you don’t know about. What may look like partying to you is work to someone else. Trust me, that kid works his ass off. I’ve seen it first hand.
wow VSG youre really a conventional , narrowminded eeeediat . fyi as opposed to my purposeful , minimal and original use of punctuation and decidedly offkilter syntax , you made an accidental grammatical error in your post (!)
“such vapid generalizations … simply breeds contempt” i think you mean breed since you pluralized generalizations , right ? its a really simple basic rule of grammar … maybe you should forgo your membership to “the spoke” next year and take a beginner english class instead so you can back up your trivial criticisms in internet comments .
aand yeah like MANY MANY enlightened people who are not entitled little dummies like you , i AM opposed to private member clubs , and i promise you , its not because i feel left out of the pretentious douchebaggery . its really not that hard to be a conformist tryhard like yourself , some people are actually better than that .
im going to skip the regression therapy since im just generally bitter with ignorant bitches such as yourself and recommend that you keep living your pathetic unenlightened life as you are since its most likely there is no hope for you .
***
lp youre welx .
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these comments are HILLAIR btw
hopefully the author is reading and will take a step back and stop pretending to be “from parkdale” . we all know now that youre from brantford and it showed in your clueless article ! dont talk about what ya dunknow ! GOSH !
This was an amusing article to read but it could be from any major city, in a variety of districts and at any point over the past 30-40 years. Nightclubs and nightlife have always been about transition and relocation. It’s all the same thing in the end (music, alcohol, attractive people) but eventually something “fresh” will become stale and changes are required.
It can also be about politics, the main reason that the former area known as the “club district” has caused many venues to shutdown either permanently or relocate under new names.
I guess my point is that the title of the article attempts to make us feel alarmed about something that is not an issue. King West has had bars and clubs for years. It’s a part of the downtown area of a major city. Based on the majority of comments attached, Toronto Life readers don’t seem to be too concerned about this.
That all aside, I found one of the pictures on page 4 amusing and wonder how Cobra or the AGCO feels about it. The time noted is 3:11 am, 26 minutes after all alcohol must be removed and yet we see a man pouring vodka down the throat of another man.
This is so true and so hilarious.
180
LOL at Bizm; I couldn’t help but google her as well. She doesn’t live up to her claims. Maybe that’s why she hates on all the “douchebags”.
This article is so on point – so well written and about time. King West is as you desribe to a T! You have to know what you’re getting yourself into when you go to any of those clubs. Ive been to Brassaii a few times on a wednesday, and why I like it – People actually talk to each other, we’re not just all standing there, trying to look cool, staring at one another. Why I dont like it – The quality of people may not be what I’m looking for, ie had a conversation with someone for no more than 5 minutes and they thought it was alright to ask (and that they’d have a shot) “Whether I wanted to get out of there with them” The sad thing is I dont see a lot of alternatives in this city. If you’re not a hipster or someone who likes to just go to a pub for a beer, where do the people who are single, who like to dress up, that aren’t full of S*it go?! I still havent figured this out.
Please don’t say home to parkdale, unless you actually went to Queen Vic to Parkdale Collegiate, you are the same as to us as those people further east down king st. that you are cooler than. Honestly, you should probably get the hell out of here as well, too many damn white kids with money are ruining parkdale. Soon we will have to move to Hamilton to avoid you people.
People need to lighten up!!! This article was damn amusing.It makes me so happy I don’t go to clubs anymore.
Dear Toronto Life,
Get your knickers out of a bunch and celebrate the unique areas of Toronto!! King Street West has become a destination, which attracts people from around the world. Its right in our backyard, and instead of celebrating one of the city’s gems, you are chastising the douche bags.. sorry.. I mean patrons of Toronto that are spending their hard earned money investing back into our city.
This article doesn’t mention the obvious racism of some of the bouncers, particularly the bouncers outside of Brant House, who are known for turning away almost every person of colour and readily admitting the scantily-clad “Barbie” types, to the horror of everyone standing waiting to get into a club that that is no where near capacity. I didn’t know classy meant “white” and no coloured people do not start all the fights…
good lord, get over it. ‘once cool’ apparently means dead and boring. it’s fun now. i am proud. i hate toronto for being so angry at its fun areas. people like you make toronto a boring lame place and keep it from being a world-class tourist destination.
So, who are the biggest douche bags? The ersatz players, movers and shakers with their Le Chateau and Stitches garb? The actual movers and shakers gaudily displaying their equivalent insecurities via shiny watches and flashy cars? Or perhaps the self-righteous denizens of Parkdale who flout their superiority by clearly being above the fray? Me, I’d put myself in the category of being above the fray, if only because I don’t participate in it.