Hotpocalypse: Toronto media forget that whole “eight months of winter” thing and go nutty in the hot, hot heat

Hotpocalypse: Toronto media forget that whole “eight months of winter” thing and go nutty in the hot, hot heat

Image: ilkerender 

Okay, this is going to be one of the hottest days in a long time. We get it. Thirty-eight degrees is pretty damn spicy, and the humidex is going to make it feel something like a more searing version of Mercury. That said—or rather typed from our air-conditioned offices—we’re a bit blown away by how the local media are turning this into the hotpocalypse. The heat wave will pass and in four months, city citizens and scribes alike will be whining about freezing rain or worse (kudos to CBC’s Metro Morning for being total downers). Some examples of the madness that has gripped the city, after the jump.

• The Globe and Mail’s Marcus Gee is swimming at all of the city’s major beaches today, even Sunnyside, which isn’t—gasp—Blue Flag rated (a measure of water quality). Assuming he survives, we expect a column. But for now, follow his presumably poached tweets here. Our favourite so far reads, “Porch thermometer reads 32. Officially hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut.” We’re pretty sure that’s not Globe-approved style.

• Toronto Hydro warns that brownouts are a possibility as the city punches its AC to 11. OpenFile Toronto makes the argument that air conditioning is evil, to which we say, “Hail evil.”

• The National Post compiles a list of reasons why we shouldn’t complain about the heat, including “people pay for this kind of heat when it’s yoga” and “nobody wants to hear your whining.” Fair points, but we’re pretty sure we won’t be seeing yoga out on the asphalt this afternoon.

• Kidding aside, this kind of heat can seriously be dangerous, especially for the elderly and young children. The city has a bunch of cooling centres, libraries are mostly air-conditioned and you can always go to the malls and shops to hunt for bargains and chilled air.

• Also, major kudos to BlogTO’s Brianne Hogan for reminding us all that we may well be disappointed. Remember Snowmageddon?

Soaring temperatures to test GTA’s power supply today [Toronto Star]
How extreme heat affects the body [Toronto Star]
Eight reasons not to buy into the heat hype [National Post]
Why I hate air conditioning [OpenFile]
Morning Brew: Today could be Toronto’s hottest day ever… [BlogTO]