Get gussied up, Hamilton: Sarah Palin coming to Canada, locals told to dress well

The conservative dynamo who served half a term as Governor of Alaska is coming to Canada—and this time, it’s not just to poach socialized health care from Canadian taxpayers. No, Sarah Palin is coming to Hamilton to address an audience of 850 about “the importance of family and community.” After all, who better to teach Canadians about family values than Sarah Palin?

Locals are shelling out $250 a head for charity to see the rogue maverick MILF, but be advised: she may have the common touch, but she sure doesn’t want to look at commoners.  Reporters are forbidden from wearing jeans, and if the speaking contract for this event is anything like the one that was fished out of a dumpster at California State University, here are some of the other demands that have to be met before Palin will grace Steeltown with her presence:

• Two unopened bottles of water with “bendable straws” at the podium
• Questions screened in advance, asked only through a designated representative
• First-class or business travel, or if this is unavailable, an exclusive private jet

Sarah Palin, everybody. Lady of the people.

• Palin sets rules of engagement for Hamilton fundraiser [Toronto Star]
• You betcha: Sarah Palin to speak in Hamilton [Vancouver Sun]
• Palin gets perks with Stanislaus event [Fresno Bee]