Dear Urban Diplomat: I wasn’t even tipsy, yet my friend insisted I was too drunk to drive. Who should apologize?
Dear Urban Diplomat,
I went to a friend’s dinner party last weekend and drank two beers over four hours. When I got up to leave, the hostess proclaimed that I was in no condition to drive and insisted I take a cab. I wasn’t even close to tipsy, but the more I protested, the more strident she became. She tried to grab my keys, but I beat her to them and stormed out. We haven’t spoken since. I think she owes me an apology, but I’m sure she thinks I owe her one. Who is responsible for making amends?
—She Drives Me Crazy, Roncesvalles
After more than 30 years of the Friends Don’t Let Friends Drink and Drive campaign, questioning the sobriety of parting guests is practically a hosting ritual. It’s surprising we don’t keep breathalyzers by the door. Assuming you’re being truthful about your intake, you’re both right: you were under the legal limit to drive, and she was being a dutiful host. But because her motivation was your well-being, there’s no way she can lose the argument. The onus is on you to make nice, perhaps over drinks at your house, after which you may insist on calling her a cab.
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